Friday Kid Jokes
14 friday kid jokes and hilarious friday kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about friday kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Friday Kid Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good friday kid joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Selling Condoms
An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the c**... display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.
The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.
So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"
The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."
Kid asks is paw why do these condoms come in 3 packs?
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
Every Friday Mrs. Jones ask the class a question.
The kid that answers correctly gets to leave class early.
Timmy has never been that kid. But this Friday he decided it was his turn. Friday comes around and Timmy is ready. The class sits down and is listening for the question. Timmy pulls some marbles out and rolls them across the floor. The teacher turns around and says to the class.
"Alright kids, who's the comedian with the black b**...?"
Timmy yells, "Chris Rock, See ya Monday Teach!"
Father and son are shopping in a grocery store and the son asks dad what are these for?
*pointing at the condoms*
Dad: oh well son, remember the birds and the bees? Well those are something you use for protection
Son: what's this 3 pack?
Dad: those are for high school kids, just getting starting.. 1 Friday, 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday
Son: this 6 back?
Dad: These are for college students.. 2 Friday, 2 Saturday, and 2 Sunday
Son: and these?
Dad: oh the 12 pack? These are very special. These are for married folks.. 1 January, 1 February, 1 March...
A boy and his father are in the store
When they come across the section where the condoms are kept. The boy looks at them and asks his dad why they come in packs of 3, 6, and 12.
The father replies: "Well son the 3 pack is for the highschool kids, one for Friday, one for saturday, and one for Sunday. The 6 pack is for the college kids. Same principle, but 2 for friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for sunday."
"What about the 12 pack?" asked the son.
"Those are for the married men" said the dad proudly.
"Really?" asked the son.
"Yes indeed," said the father. "One for January, one for February, one for March........."
A married couple with children made a code word for s**.....
The code phrase is "Typing a letter".
So on a Friday movie night, the husband is in the mood and asks his wife around their children, "would you like to type some letters tonight?". The wife says they're watching a good movie, maybe tomorrow.
Saturday comes and the husband is now in heat, all day keeps asking to "type". Finally at night as the kids are tucked in, the wife softly asks, "I'm sorry for making you wait, do you wanna type the letter now, honey?", to which the husband replies:
"Forget it, it's been handwritten."
Prison ain't so bad
A newly arrived prisoner is sitting in his cell when his cellmate, a lifer who has been inside for 20 years, walks in and sees that the young guy is distressed.
Lifer: Don't worry kid, prison ain't so bad. Do you like to work with your hands?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: Well,on Monday we get to work in the Arts and Crafts building. You can paint,do woodworking, pottery whatever.
NewMeat: O.k. that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Gourmet food?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: On Tuesdays a Chef comes in affixes anything you want to eat.
NewMeat: Sounds good
Lifer:Do you like movies?
NewMeat: Yeah
Lifer:Wednesdays we get to watch the latest films that are released to theatres.
NewMeat:Allright that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Music?
NewMeat: Absolutely!
Lifer: Thursdays we get a concert from big name bands like U2 and Foo Fighters.
NewMeat: Wow!! that is cool!!
Lifer: Are you gay?
NewMeat: Uh, no I'm not gay
Lifer: Oh....... well you're not gonna like Friday's at all.
A little boy and his dad were in line at the drug store
And the boy picks up a pack of condoms. He asks "what are these daddy?" And his dad says "those are for high school kids." The boy asks "why are there three?" The father says "one for Thursday night, one for Friday night, and one for Saturday night."
The boy picks up another pack and asks "why are there six in this one?" So the father says "those are for college kids. Two for Thursday, two for Friday, and two for Saturday."
The boy picks up a third pack and asks "why are there twelve in this one?" The father says "oh those are for married men. One for every month of the year."
A boy is in a CVS with his dad...
A boy is in a CVS with his dad. While in line at the pharmacy, the boy notices something in a box that resembles balloons. Curious, the boy asks his dad about these balloons in the box. "Well, those are condoms, son," the boy's dad replies. "What are condoms used for, dad?" replied the little boy. "They are used so men can practice safe s**...," said the father. The boy asks his dad who would use the box of three. The boy's dad replies, "Those are for high school kids. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." The boy then spots a box of six and asks his dad about those. "Those are for college kids son. They use two on Friday, two on Saturday and two on Sunday." The boy then asks, "Well what about the box of twelve?" To which the boy's dad replied, "Those are for married men like myself, son. One for January, one for February, one for March....."
A catholic priest and an Indian named John...
One Friday afternoon on the reservation John and his family were starving. John, being a great hunter, went out and killed a deer to feed his wife and kids.
A catholic priest sees this and says, "John! What are you doing? You cannot eat meat on a Friday!"
John says to the priest, "It's not meat, it's fish!"
The priest couldn't believe his ears. He quickly replied, "It is meat and you should not tell lies, John!"
John says, "I assure you father, it is fish."
Cofused and curious the father ask John, "Why do you say it is fish?"
John says, "I sprinkled water on it and I said from meat you become fish."
The priest yells at John, "You cannot do that!"
John says, "Why not father? When I met you I was Mapuche, then you sprinkled water on me and I became John."
A priest walks up to his church's janitor
He then says that he has a problem - his stomach is very upset, and he has been running to the restroom all day. His problem is that the widow Mrs. Idoux is about to show up for her weekly confession, as she does every Friday at exactly 3:00. He asks the janitor to stand in for him at her confession, because Mrs. Idoux always has the same confession, carnal thoughts about a specific man. The priest says that he always gives Mrs. Idoux 10 Hail Marys and sends her on her way. The Janitor agrees, it is obvious the Priest would not ask such a thing were it unnecessary.
The Janitor steps in, and a couple minutes later, the widow Mrs. Idoux steps in to the confession booth. Mrs. Idoux says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have caved into my carnal thoughts and performed o**... s**... on a man who is not my husband." The Janitor, realizing he cannot give the same penance for carnal thoughts as o**... s**..., so he quietly steps out of the booth, calls an altar boy over, and asks "Hey, kid - what does the priest give for o**... s**...?", to which the boy replies "A coke and a snickers bar, why do you ask?"
There was a Gay guy named Billy
Billy was dating a bisexual guy named Jordan. Recently, however, Jordan has started going to parties on Friday nights without inviting Billy. Billy, thinking that Jordan was ashamed of dating a guy, asks to go with him one day.
When they arrive at the bar, he notices that Jordan is not holding his hands like he usually does. When they walk in, a short, drunk blonde girl who wraps her arms around his waist. Jordan introduces the girl as Jean, who tells Billy that she's heard a lot about him. Billy wonders if he told her about their relationship and starts to get jealous. He tells Jordan that he's going to go home early.
Jordan follows him to the door and asks why he is leaving. Billy just says that he is not having fun and tells him to have fun with his "friend". Jordan realizes what this was all about and tells him that the girl was just someone he used to date. She recently had a child and he wanted to know whether the child was his or not.
Billy doesn't believe Jordan's story. He rolls his eyes and starts walking away again. However, Jordan stops him and looks him right in the eye. Then, he says, "Billy, Jean is not my lover. She's just some girl who said that I am the one. But the kid is not my son."
An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.
This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message of christ, and was able to convert him, spraying him with water saying, "you were born sick, you were raised sick, but now you are CHRISTIAN!". The idiots neighbors left him alone thinking that was that, but come Friday, and he's still grilling chicken when he should be abstaining. So they began to spy on him to see how he could justify such an act, and they saw him spritz his chicken with holy water, saying "you were born chicken, you were raised chicken, but now, you are FISH!"
idk if this is a repost, but my dad told me this joke as a kid, and I thought it was funny.
Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy.
The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?"
And the father answers truthfully:
"These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe s**...."
"Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the s**... education class."
Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?"
"This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside.
"What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?"
"This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?"
His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"
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