Freud Jokes
82 freud jokes and hilarious freud puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about freud that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this collection of Freud jokes, related to the Austrian psychotherapist Sigmund Freud! Learn more about Freud's views on topics such as Nietzsche, Sinatra and even "Pink Freud", his less-known alter ego.
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Funniest Freud Short Jokes
Short freud jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The freud humour may include short psychotherapist jokes also.
- I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung
- How many Sigmund Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mothe… errr I mean the lightbulb.
- My grandpa believes he is best friends with Freud. But I keep telling him he is just a Sigmund of his imagination.
- As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist. But my parents told me, "We're a-Freud you're too Jung for that."
- Someone asked me if I would bet on Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personalityl I replied I'm all Id
- What's Sigmund Freud's favorite soap opera? The Jung and the Restless
- What do you call a psychoanalysis game show? Family Freud
- Sigmund knows he's done working when his brain's freud
- what did Freud say about an algebraic equation? What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother
- Why did Freud hurt his shoulder? He made a Freudian slip
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Freud One Liners
Which freud one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with freud? I can suggest the ones about sigmund freud and psychologist.
- What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common? They both explored the unconscious.
- In 1910 Freud was old But his student was Jung
- Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend.
- It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today... I wish him great happenis.
- How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped
- Like Freud says... ...if it's not ones thing, it's your mother.
- Why doesn't Sigmund Freud swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
- Why are the best psychoanalysists Asian? Because they grew up listening to Pink Freud.
- Everytime someone calls another a "motherf*cker" Freud peeks from around the corner.
- What was Sigmund Freud's favorite food? Freud Rice
- How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb? Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.
- Did you hear about Freud's party last night? Id was wild!
- What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner? Freud rice.
- What did Sigmund Freud say when his patient wouldn't unhand his waffle? Leggo my ego!
- There was a very angry bodybuilder psychologist He had Freud rage
Sigmund Freud Jokes
Here is a list of funny sigmund freud jokes and even better sigmund freud puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, Have you taken a bath?
The other replies: "No. Is one missing?"
From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious* - Why didn't Sigmund Freud buy name-brand weiners? They were too expenisve
- What did Sigmund Freud do for mother's day? His mom.
- Sigmund Freud in a slam battle: "Yo' mamma's so neglectful, you struggle to maintain relationships with women because they view you as overly attached and clingy."
- Mrs Freud: Sigmund, are you listening to me? Or is it in one ear and out the mother?
- Why did Sigmund Freud cross the road? Your mom!
- What does Sigmund Freud say comes between fear and s**...? fünf
(it helps if you say it out loud, and understand German) :-) - What did Sigmund Freud say when he had an epiphany? u**...!
- Sigmund Freud discovered the "Freudian Slip" which in my opinion, was pure p**......I mean genius.
- Sigmund Freud goes to In-n-Out After discussing with the CEO that their company's name unconsciously symbolized s**... i**..., they simply said back:
"At least we're not Pinkberry."
Pink Freud Jokes
Here is a list of funny pink freud jokes and even better pink freud puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a band made of psychoanalyists? Pink Freud
- What was the psychologist's favorite band? Pink Freud
- What do you call a rock band whose members are all neurologists? Pink Freud
Heartwarming Freud Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about freud you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean banana jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make freud pranks.
Sigmund Freud is talking to his buddy ...
... and the conversation turns to s**..., as often happens. Freud says, "I'm thinking about taking out Carl's daughter."
"Carl's daughter?" says the buddy in disbelief. "Isn't she a little Jung?"
Freudian analysts
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb??
s**...
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the p**.....*ER..ladder! I MEANT LADDER!*
How many Freudian slips does it take to change a lightboob?
How many Freudian slips does it take a narcissist to change a light-bulb?
Just one. He holds the light bulb, and the world revolves around me-**HIM** ... *I said him* ...
How do Freudians describe the human mind?
As a huge e**..., I mean huge enigma.....
Freudian Slips
A Linguistic Slip is where you say one thing, but meant another.
A Freudian Slip is where you do one thing, but meant your mother.
How does a psychiatrist like his sausages?
Freud
I like Freudian Slips as much as the next gay.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Still unsure as to whether or not that full stop adds to humorous effect.
What is a Freudian slip?
When you say one thing but mean your mother.
I am sure Freud invented autocorrect...
because when you mean one thing,it autocorrects it to amother.
A Freudian slip is when you say something by mistake that gives away
What you were really w**... about...I mean thinking about.
-Ricky Gervais
How five Jews changed the way we see the world:
Moses: "The Law is everything"
Jesus: "Love is everything"
Marx: "Money is everything"
Freud: "s**... is everything"
Einstein: "Everything is relative"
Kentucky Freud Chicken...
It's m**...' good!
What do you call a fried potato with an o**... fixation?
A French Freud
Freudian Slips
He still hasn't gotten up
How many Freudian psychologists does it take it change a light bulb?
One to hold the ladder and the other to screw ~~your mother~~ it in.
How many Freudians does it take to screw a lightbulb
*Cannot edit titles, meant to write, screw in a light bulb.
Sigmund Freud walks into a bar
Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."
What does the Freudian monk chant while meditating?
MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
(Sorry if repost, I just thought of this, but I can't be the first)
A freudian slip
So for those of you who dont know, a freudian slip is when you say one thing but you're thinking about a mother
Freudian slips
A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says "Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about Freudian slips? " "Well, I had the most amazing one last night". I was eating dinner with my wife, and I meant to say "would you please pass the salt dear?". But instead, I said "You g**... b**..., you're ruining my life".
For those who don't know what Freudian slips are.
Freudian slips are when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
Freudian slip
A guy is talking to his buddy.
\-I made a total fool of myself today. I was talking to a very well endowed young woman at the airport and I said: "I need two pickets to Tittsburgh." She was embarrassed and so was I.
His buddy replies:
\-Yeah, it's called a Freudian slip. I had one at the dinner table last night. I wanted to say to my wife "Pass the potatoes" and instead, I said: "You lousy b**..., you messed up my life!"
What is a Freudian slip?
It's when you mean to say one thing, but you accidentally say your mother.
3 Psychoanalysts walk into a bar
Bartender says: we have every beer from around the world. What can I get you fellas?
Sigmund Freud says: I'll have an Austrian lager in a pint glass
Carl Jung says: I'll have a Swiss lager also in a pint glass
Bartender looks at the third guy and says: where you from buddy?
Third guy says proudly: oui oui, I am from France
Bartender: well, a french lager probably like your pals; bottle or a pint?
Jacques says: a lager oui, but do you have it in Lacan?
What's a Freudian slip?
It's where you say one thing and mean your mother.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing….
but mean your mother…. I mean another.
You know what a freudian slip is?
It's when you mean to say one thing, but then you say ~~your mother~~ another.
