JokoJokes

Fresh Air Jokes

62 fresh air jokes and hilarious fresh air puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fresh air that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Fresh Air Short Jokes

Short fresh air jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fresh air humour may include short fresh water jokes also.

  1. I've spent so long trying to think of a synonym for 'ambitious' that I've given myself a headache. Aspiring?
    No thanks, I'll just get some fresh air, that'll clear it up.
  2. I have a new recipe that's gluten free, sugar free, no-fat, non-GMO, pesticide free, low-calorie, vegan, kosher and paleo-friendly. It's a real breath of fresh air.
  3. Did you hear about the HVAC technicians who got into an argument? At first it was heated, but they got some fresh air then things cooled off
  4. Smoking is actually a good thing for me Look how often I have to go outside into the fresh air
  5. I love video games with a female protagonist. It's a breath of fresh air when you're married to a female antagonist.
  6. What should you do if you see the Fresh Prince of Bel Air on the opposite team in 'Titanfall'? Fire at Will.
  7. How do you get fresh air into an Eastern Orthodox church? You tap on an icon and a window opens up.
  8. The Fresh Prince "Alright, that will be $157,382", said the taxi driver,
    after taking Will Smith from West Philadelphia to Bel Air.
  9. I'm watching the horrific pictures of the US Wild Fires in Bel-Air. They believe it was started by an Arsonist.
    They are dusting for fresh prints.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Too soon???????
  10. A guy is eating out a old lady when she farts, the old lady says "oh dear I'm sorry" and the guy says- " That's ok lady I needed a breath of fresh air".

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Fresh Air One Liners

Which fresh air one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fresh air? I can suggest the ones about new fresh and fresh.

  1. Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing? To get some fresh air
  2. What is it called when the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air tells a lie? Will's myth.
  3. Why do people in China smoke so much? They need fresh air
  4. Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh
  5. Why did JFK get some fresh air? Because he wanted to clear his head.
  6. Everyone likes to have a breath of fresh air every now and then. It's just common scents.
  7. Why are there air condition at the psychiatric hospital? Too keep the vegetables fresh.
  8. Bet this won't get gold by the first upvote I bet a fresh breath of air on it
  9. Yo mama so fat when she inhales fresh air she gains KG's.
  10. GEEK b**...... FRESH AIR You're a breath of fresh air, just like my asthma inhaler!

Fresh Air Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about fresh air you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean air freshener jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fresh air pranks.

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peacekeeping mission.


During a briefing on landmines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."

A s**..., an alcoholic, and a gay guy go see a psychiatrist...

The s**... says, "This filthy habit is ruining my life. My wife hates it, my kids hate it, my grandpa died from it, I just want to quit!"
The alcoholic says,"Alcohol has ruined every relationship I have ever had, I can't even hold down a job, I need to get off the bottle."
The gay guy says, "Ever since I came out, I have lost so many friends, even my family treats me differently. I just want things to back the way they were."
The psychiatrist hands each of them a pill telling them that it is an instant cure, they each gobble them down without thinking twice.
The psychiatrist then says, "The only thing is, if you ever has a smoke again, or if you have another drink again, or if you have any s**... contact with another man again, you will drop dead."
Afterwards, the three of them went to a restaurant, chilled by what the psychiatrist had just told them.
"I can't take this anymore, I need a drink!" The alcoholic goes up to the bar and slams down a shot. Drops dead.
The s**... and the gay guy look at each other in shock. The s**... says, "Oh God this is real, I need some fresh air." They go outside and on the table there is an ashtray which has half of a cigarette, still smoldering. The gay guy looks at the s**... and says, "If you bend over to pick up that cigarette, we're both dead.

So drunk he can't stand up

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face. The Irishman decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed. He is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks innocently.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
---------

Drinking Again

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.
The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.
So, the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his
face.
He tried to stand one more time; same result.
He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air
and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again.
So he decided to crawl the four blocks home.
Again, he fell flat on his face.
He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to
stand up.
This time he managed to pull himself upright,
but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep
as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning
to his wife standing over him, shouting,
"SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"
Putting on an innocent look,
and intent on bluffing it out he said,
"What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called;
you left your wheelchair there again."

An Irishman drinks at the pub until they close.

An Irishman drinks at the pub until they close.
He stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time and falls again. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Outside, he tries to stand up and falls flat again. He gives up and crawls the four blocks to his house, crawls up the stairs and pulls himself into bed.
The next morning, his wife stands over him shouting, "So, you've been out boozing again!"
"What makes you say that?" he asks, putting on an innocent face.
"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

Some day in Berlin

Yussel Rabinowitz and his wife Bessie were hiding from the n**... in a secluded Berlin basement.
One day Yussel decided to get a breath of fresh air, but while out walking he came face to face with Adolf h**... himself. The German leader pulled out a gun and pointed to a pile of horse-s**... in the street.
All right, Jew! he shouted, Eat that or I'll kill you.
Trembling, Yussel did as he was ordered. h**... began laughing so hard that he dropped his gun.
Yussel grabbed it and said, Now you eat, or I'll shoot!
The fuhrer got down on his hands and knees and began eating. While he was occupied, Yussel sneaked away and ran back to his basement. He slammed the door shut, bolted and locked it securely.
Bessie, Bessie! he shouted. Guess who I had lunch with today!

A young girl was digging a hole...

...one day when the neighbor passed by on his way home from work.
"What's the hole for?", the neighbor asked.
"It's for my fish", the little girl replied.
The neighbor left the girl to herself and sat down for dinner and afterwards stepped outside for some fresh air and saw the little girl still digging away.
"What's with making the hole do big, I thought it was for your fish.", the man said to the girl.
"It is. But it was in your cat"

A newly born baby is miraculously able to talk

A newly born baby is miraculously able to talk.
The stunned doctors and nurses start asking questions - "How did you learn english?"
The baby replies "I heard many conversations and tv and radio while in the w**...".
Then a doctor asks "Were you aware of the whole birth?", "yes, it was a bit stressful, but glad to get into fresh air" says the baby."
Everyone is totally amazed, then a nurse puts the baby in its mum's arms, she is sobbing "I'm your mummy", "I know mummy, I know" says the baby cuddling her.
"and do you know who this man standing next to me is?" she asks looking at her partner.
"Well not my daddy, that's for sure", says the baby,
"how do you know that?" asks the horrified mum,
The baby sighs, "I wasn't born yesterday"

The new supermarket

A new supermarket just opened up nearby.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and
smell fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is
the scent of freshly mowed hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled
steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and
cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon
and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked
bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore, though.

Drunken Irishman

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting,
"So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.
"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

A girl came to me today...

...and told me she will have s**... with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.

An Irishman is drinking whiskey at a bar...

It's closing time, and he's pretty drunk. He gets up to leave and...boom! Falls over and smacks into the floor. He tries to get up again, but only succeeds in losing his balance and falling back down. He thinks to himself "wow I'm more drunk than I thought, maybe if I could just get some fresh air and sober up a little". So he crawls his way to the door, throws it open, and crawls outside. He tries to get up again, no luck. "Ok, it's not too far, I'll just crawl home and sleep it off". So the Irishman crawls all the way home and passes out on his couch. The next morning he wakes up to his wife yelling at him "god damnet Seamus, the bar just called, you left your wheelchair there again!"

A new Supermarket opened near me.....

A new supermarket opened near my house.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
And, just before the mister turns on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying on the stove.
The veggie department features the smell of freshly buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore

I found a new recipe that's fat free, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, preservative-free and is non-GMO.

It's a real breath of fresh air.

Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.

>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.

Usain Bolt decides to play some golf

He goes into the clubhouse to get membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry sir, we don't allow black people in this club.'
'That's ridiculous. It's 2016 and you don't allow black people in this golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene sir, there's another golf club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'Its only 2 minutes then'
Credit to /u/Ron_manager who posted this a year or so ago, it's a breath of fresh air compared to the usual Bolt/h**... one that does the rounds.

FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....

In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......

Automatic Water Mister

The new neighborhood supermarket has an automatic water mister to Keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore!

Why do hospitals and nursing home have air conditioning?

To keep all the vegetables fresh.

So there's this guy who is just a head. No body, no torso, nothing.

He has a crush on this girl, so he asks her to the dance. She really pities him, so she says yes.
They get to the dance and a slow song plays. He asks her to dance. She says no, because it would be weird to dance with a head. The boy is heartbroken and goes outside for some fresh air in tears. He sees a shooting star, and decides to make a wish. He says, I wish I was literally anything besides a head! And so he turns into a grape. He rolls himself back inside up to the girl and says, I'm a grape now. Will you please find it in your heart to dance with me? And she steps on him.
Moral of the story?
Quit while you're ahead.

Stay Stay!!!!!

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"

Johnny Carson Classic

The air quality in Los Angeles is so bad...
How bad is it?
When locals want to breathe fresh air, they s**... the air out of tires from cars with out-of-state license plates.

If the Beast got Febreeze for his lady's room...

...would that make him the Fresh Prince of Belle's Air?

Respiratory pun (a breath of fresh air)

Once, I met a person whose lungs were so old that she had a hard time breathing out. I guess you could say that her lungs were past their expiration date.

Did you hear about how they caught the m**... in Bel Air?

They found some fresh prints at the scene

I finally found a recipe that is gluten free, fat free, dairy free and contains no sugar.

It's a breath of fresh air.

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."

A guy drinks all night in a pub

When the pub closes, he tried to go home, but he can't stand on his feet, so he decides to crawl outside, maybe the fresh air will make him feel better.
But even outside he doesn't manage to get on his feet, so without a choice he crawls until he gets home, barely manages to reach the door handle, and crashes on the bed.
When he wakes up, his wife yells at him "where drinking all night again?!"
"How did you know?" He asks.
"Cause the guy from the pub called and said you forgot your wheelchair"

Recently a new supermarket opened nearby

It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more…

It's a chicken in the backyard.

A chicken goes into a library. He stands at the librarians desk and says, "Buk", so she gives him a book. A couple minutes later the chicken returns. "Buk", he says, and she hands him another book. This goes on and on.
Finally it is the librarian's break time. She goes out back to get some fresh air by the pond. That is when she sees the chicken and a frog on a lilypad. "Buk" says the chicken as he tosses a book to the frog. "Reddit" replies the frog...

A family of moles wake up from hibernation.

They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!