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Frenchmen Jokes

40 frenchmen jokes and hilarious frenchmen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about frenchmen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Frenchmen Short Jokes

Short frenchmen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The frenchmen humour may include short french jokes also.

  1. Two frenchmen were strolling down a boulevard... When one of them gasped, "Mon Dieu - here come my wife and my mistress!"
    "Sacre Bleu!" Exclaimed his friend. "I was about to say the same thing!"
  2. What does every frenchmen learn in first grade of school? (sorry France) How to surrender in 6 different languages.
  3. French Joke Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
    A. The French Army.
  4. How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb? 5, one to fill the paperwork, one to go on strike, and two to complain how it should've been changed last week
  5. A Frenchmen goes to a library for a book he wants about warfare. He asks the librarian at the front desk for a book about warfare. The librarian simply responds, You'll just lose it.
  6. how many Frenchmen does it take to properly defend Frances borders? No idea, No ones ever tried.
  7. Since the French joke went over so well How many Frenchmen does it take to defend the city of Paris??
    No one knows, it's never been tried.
  8. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.
  9. How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb? 67 million because they all surrendered and the lightbulb remains unchanged.
  10. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Five.
    One to hold the light bulb and four to turn the house.

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Frenchmen One Liners

Which frenchmen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with frenchmen? I can suggest the ones about surrender and captured.

  1. How do Frenchmen share files? Pierre to Pierre.
  2. What do you call it when two Frenchmen share files? Pierre-to-Pierre transfer.
  3. How many Frenchmen does it take to guard Paris? No one knows, it's never been done before
  4. Why do Frenchmen only eat 1 egg a day? Because an egg is un œuf.
  5. Why was the Frenchmen racist? Because he was a bigette.
  6. Do Frenchmen like slides? OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIII!
  7. Why do depressed Frenchmen consume so much olive oil? It gives them a huile d'olive
  8. What's a Frenchmen's favorite vacation? A retreat.
  9. What do you call gay Frenchmen? Faguettes
  10. What do you call a fabulous Frenchmen? Le faguette.
  11. why do gay frenchmen like to wear leather? because it's cuir.
  12. Why can't frenchmen count to four? Because there is a tree in the way.
  13. How many Frenchmen does it take to stop a Semi Truck? Apparently, 84 isn't enough.
  14. What do you call a close minded frenchmen? A baguette!
  15. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Nobody knows because they've never tried

Frenchmen joke, How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

Cheeky Frenchmen Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about frenchmen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make frenchmen pranks.

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery

They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."
"They are n**... and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)

A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study.

He sees a sign indicating the nationality of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for an Americans brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for a Japaneese brain?"
"ten dollars an ounce."
"How much for a Frenchmen's brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is a Frenchmen's brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many French men we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"

The tunnel

An Englishman, a Frenchmen, a young woman, and an old lady, are sitting together on a train when it goes through a tunnel. A loud slap is heard, and then the Frenchman is rubbing his face.
The old lady thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the young woman, and she slapped him'
The young woman thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the old lady thinking it was me, and she slapped him'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet the Englishman tried to touch the young woman, and she thought it was me, so she slapped me'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for the next tunnel so I can slap him again'

An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water

They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux t**...". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux t**... cat sank"

A tourist is walking along the riverbank in Paris

when a Frenchman runs and pushes him in.
Spluttering and angry, the tourist shouts "Are you crazy?"
To which the Frenchmen replies laughing "No, but you're in Seine"

What do you call bad s**... with Frenchmen?

Lay Miserables

Two Frenchmen attempt to escape a POW camp...

The pair break out of their cells and manage to reach the wire fence in the dead of night. As Pierre scales the fence he stumbles, alerting a nearby guard, who calls out "Who's there?!"
"Meow!" Pierre shouts back, and he manages to creep away.
Now Francois climbs the fence and he stumbles and the guard again called, 'Who goes there?'
"Another cat!"

Frenchmen joke, Two Frenchmen attempt to escape a POW camp...