Frenchman Jokes
112 frenchman jokes and hilarious frenchman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about frenchman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Frenchman Short Jokes
Short frenchman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The frenchman humour may include short french jokes also.
- A native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"
- What do you call a Frenchman that wears sandals? Phillipe Floppe
Courtesy, my Neuroscience Prof.
- A frenchman walks into a library And asks the Librarian if he can checkout a book about War. The Librarian responds, "No, you'll lose it."
- Frenchman in a hotel. A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".
"Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.
"Toilet pepper." - An American asks a Frenchman: Why don't the French say grace before their meal? Because we can cook
- I was once attacked by a Frenchman with a baguette That memory is still inbreaded within me.
- Aperformer is on stage in front of an Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German. He's slightly out of view and asks if they can all see him alright. they respond:
yes
oui
si
ja - What did the Frenchman say when his mistress' husband hit him over the head with an iron? Fer enough.
- I recently bumped into a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf. He said it was a real pain in the neck.
- a Frenchman sneezed paint onto a canvas He showed it to a friend, who was astounded.
Who's responsible for this remarkable piece of work?
The Frenchman smiled and said, Mon nez
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Frenchman One Liners
Which frenchman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with frenchman? I can suggest the ones about baguette and crepe.
- What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope
- What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear? Claude
- Did you know that sandals were invented by a Frenchman? His name was Philippe Filoppe.
- What did the frenchman say to the other frenchman Idk I don't speak french
- What's is a Frenchman's favorite operating system? Microissant
- What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster? Yes!
- Why did the Frenchman put snails in his gas tank? To make escargot.
- What does a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common? No Merci.
- What do you call a Frenchman who sounds weird? A frenchman.
- Belgian Waffle Today I made a Belgian Waffle, and a Frenchman talk rubbish.
- Hear about the Frenchman who choked to death eating his morning omelette? Oeuf.
- What is the Frenchman's favorite cereal? Oui-ties
- What's a Frenchman's favorite appendage? Defeat.
- How can you tell between a German and a Frenchman? Whether he's raising one arm or two
- What did the Frenchman say when God gave him mercy? Merci
Unearthly Funniest Frenchman Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about frenchman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make frenchman pranks.
A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an American are on a plane...
The pilot informs them that they lost an engine and must drop some weight. The frenchman throws a bottle of wine out the window, "we have way too much of this in my country." The Mexican throws out his drugs, "we have way too many of these in my country." The American quickly tosses the Mexican out.
Flying Blind
A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.
The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."
The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"
The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"
Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."
A Frenchman, A Mexican, And an American are sitting in a train car together
The Mexican is eating a taco, Stops, And throws it out the window;The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Mexican responds, "We have so many in my country, I just wanted to." So the Frenchman takes a croissant and throws it out the window, Saying, "We have too many of these." He then turns to the American and asks, "What do you have too many of in your country?" The American then throws the Mexican out the window.
They walk in the bar
A bartender is working at an upscale bar downtown when all of the sudden, an Englishman, a Dane, a Frenchman, a German, a Russian, an American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Peruvian, a Brazilian, a Colombian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Korean, 29 different Africans from all different African countries, and an Indian all walk in to the bar.
And the bartender says to them, sorry gentlemen, but you can't come here without a Thai.
^thanks ^SnW
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian are all on a plane.
All three are heading to China for 2 months for a business trip. The Frenchman and the Englishman start talking about the night before:
Englishman: "I'll have you know I made love to my wife 3 times and this morning she told me she adored me"
Frenchman: "Ha ha! That is very good my friend, however, I believe I have you beat; last night I made love to my wife 6 times and this morning she told me should would never love anyone else!"
The Englishman congratulates the Frenchman and then they look over at the Italian who hasn't said anything the whole flight.
Englishman: "How many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
Italian: "Once"
Frenchman: "Once? What did she say in the morning?"
Italian: "Don't stop"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... in Paris
A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a n**... man having s**... with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man r**... a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."
A Frenchman has a wife and a lover
He loves his lover the most.
An Englishman has a wife and a lover, he loves his wife the most.
A Jewish man has a wife and a lover, he loves his mother the most.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where's the safest place to hide your money?
Under the soap of a Frenchman.
What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman
An Englishman is telling a joke to a Frenchman, he says what did the Frenchman say to the Englishman. The Frenchman says he doesn't know, but the Englishman insists that he guesses.
After a few frustrated guesses the Frenchman eventually caves in, annoyed that the Englishman doesn't seem to understand how jokes work.
'I give up'
The Englishman smiles and walks off.
[original joke I just made up, [f]irst time]
An Englishman, a German, a Frenchman, and a Jewish guy are lost in the desert.
The Englishman says "I'm so thirsty, I must have some tea!"
The German says "I'm so thirsty, I must have ze beer!"
The Frenchman says "I'm so thirsty, I must 'ave some wine!"
The Jewish guy says "I'm so thirsty, I must have diabetes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 spies, a french one, a british one, and an italian one, are captured by al-qaeda...
the terrorists tie each of them up and put the brit and the italian in a locked room. they take the frenchman to a room for 6 hours, torturing information out of him. when they finish with him, they take the brit to the room, who lasts 12 hours. they finally take the italian into the room, but as much as they t**... him, they cant get any information out of him.
the brit and the frenchman ask him how it goes and he says "i couldnt say anything." they ask him why and he says "my hands were tied!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the r**... say to the Frenchman?
You don't speak English fourchette!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The suave Englishman at the breakfast table asked his sweetheart "Please pass the sugar, sugar!"
The debonair Frenchman asked his girl "Please pass the honey, honey!"
The American r**..., not to be outdone, yelled "Pass the pork, pig!"
An American, an Frenchman, an Israeli, a Spaniard, and a German go to see a seminar
They show up late, and can only find seats in the back row. When the presenter notices them come in and take seats in the very back, he shouts to them, "Can you guys see me back there?"
They answered back in order, "Yes" "Oui" "Ken" "Si" "Ja"
An old American was visiting Paris and spend couple minutes at immigration control looking for his passport.
- "Monseigneur, have you ever been in Paris before?" asked officer impatiently.
- "Oh yes I have, but I didn't really have to show it" responded older gentleman.
- "Not possible, you always show passport to French officer"
-"Well the last time I landed in Normandy, I could not find a single
Frenchman to show my passport"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**...
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**... are each sentenced to thirty years in prison. Each man is given one request that will be honored by the jail warden.
A woman, asks the Frenchman.
A telephone, says the Jew.
A cigarette, says the p**....
Thirty years later the Frenchman walks out with the woman and ten kids.
The Jew strolls out carrying a ten thousand dollar commission he has made during the time.
The p**... walks out and says, Has anyone got a match?
Why did the Frenchman refuse toast at breakfast?
Because he had *en oeuf*
I was at a café when a Frenchman spilled water on himself.
It was a pretty l'eau point in his life.
(L'eau is French for water)
A mime is performing an act in Paris
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spanish man, and German man are watching the mime perform. The mime notices that they cannot see him very well. He places a box down and signals to the audience if they can see him.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
A tourist is walking along the riverbank in Paris
when a Frenchman runs and pushes him in.
Spluttering and angry, the tourist shouts "Are you crazy?"
To which the Frenchmen replies laughing "No, but you're in Seine"
Frenchman in sandals
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe flop
I'll let myself out
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German walk into a bar...
... and they all order a drink. The barman pours a glass of beer each for the Frenchman and the German, put provides a plastic cup of beer for the Englishman.
The other two ask him, "Why do we have glasses, and he has a plastic cup?"
The barman replies, "Because he Brexit."
God went to a Frenchman
He said 'I've got some commandments, do you want some?'
'What are they like?' The Frenchman replied
'Thou shall not commit adultery' Answered God
'I don't think so...' Slurred the Frenchman, so God went to a German and asked if he wanted any.
'What are they like?' The German questioned
'Thou shall not kill' God replied
'Hmmm, perhaps not' The German sighed, so God went to an Italian, offering him some commandments
'What are they like?' The Italian inquired
'Thou shall not steal' Answered God
'Perhaps not' The Italian replied. So God went to a Jew and offered him some commandments
'How much are they?' The Jew asked
'They're free' God answered
'I'll take ten' Said the Jew
An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat...
An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat. The boat is sinking.
The Frenchman throws a baguette off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
The American throws a computer off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
The Canadian immediately throws the Frenchman off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
An American, an Irishman, and a Frenchman all go into a bar
They each order one beer from the barkeep, and shortly after he returns with their beers, a fly lands in each of their beers. The Frenchman cries out in disgust and demands a new beer. The American picks the fly out of his drink and starts to sip at his beer. The Irishman picks the fly out and starts to shout Spit it out!!"
A German and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
After buying the German a beer, the Frenchman asks where his is from.
"Auschwitz," the German replies.
"Is it weird living there, especially with its history?" The Frenchman asks.
"Yes, but the services are incredible."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Cheap gas and free showers."
Traffic accidents
A Frenchman and an Englishman are talking at a bar:
Frenchman: "Did you hear, in France they lowered the the amount of alcohol you can drink before driving. But now car accidents have significantly increased"
Englishman: " Wow, how can that be?"
Frenchman: " Well its because if a man drinks wine with a meal at a restaurant, his wife has to drive him home"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing...
They're watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler then sees that the 4 men have a bad view so he stands up on a big wooden box and says "can you see me now?" The 4 men respond:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman and an Ethiopian got into a heated argument.
The Frenchman said, "We have better food, wine, standard of living, transportation, infrastructure, economy, and GDP than you! What do you have? Nothing!"
The Ethiopian answered, "At least we didn't surrender to the Axis!"
A man rolls up in the workshop with his car
The mechanic asks:
"Woa there, what did you do with that? The Bumper is ruined!"
The man replies:
"Yeah, I kinda ran over a frenchman"
The mechanic replies:
"What? I mean all the mud there, I don't see any blood"
The man replies:
"Not my fault he ran into the field to escape!"
Two Prussian soldiers are talking to a captured French Soldier.
The Prussians ask, 'What do you fight for?'
'For money,' the Frenchman replies.
'You see, we Prussians fight not for wealth, but for honor!'
The Frenchman replies, 'So it is true that all men fight for what they lack.'
A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...
"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
I asked a Frenchman how he injured his leg...
He just responded, "Eifell".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, Frenchman, and Pakistani walk into a bar
"Jeez, we should lower the bar" the Olympic hurdle committee exclaimed.
Can a Frenchman live on an island?
'course 'e can!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Soviet are asked what nationality Adam and Eve were.
The Brit exclaims They must have been British! Look at how gentlemanly Adam behaved towards Eve. He must have been an Englishman.
Outrageous! Says the Frenchman. They must have been French. Look at the love that they exhibited towards each other! Only the French can love like that.
The Soviet chuckles and says You're both wrong. They must have been Soviet; they had no clothes, no food, and someone in charge was telling them they were in paradise .
Snail hunting
This is an old joke my father used to tell me.
A German, Spaniard, and Frenchman all decide to go snail hunting. After an hour had passed they meet back together to compare their catch. The German had a full bucket and the Spaniard had half a bucket, but the Frenchman's bucket was empty.
"Where are your snails?"
"I found a lot of them, but every time I leaned over to grab one, WHOOOOOSH it was gone"
Cheese
Frenchman: I know how the man died. It was death by fromage, right?
American: No silly, not from age, from cheese.
A Frenchman bumps into a English gentleman on a street
"Good day to you sir, what are you up to." says the Englishman.
The Frenchman says "nothing much....what are you doing."
"Oh we are playing Croatia today" answers the Englishman.
"Ah what a coincidence. We are playing them on Sunday you see" replies the Frenchman.
An American, a Frenchman and a Romanian were flying together
– Now we're in America, said the American proudly. Look, the Statue of Liberty!
After several hours, the Frenchman says:
– Now we're in France! Look, the Eiffel Tower!
After some more couple of hours, the romanian says:
– We are in Romania.
– How did you realize that? It's dark outside.
– My wrist watch has disappeared
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar
The bartender says
"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"
An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar.
An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar. The topic of WW2 comes up and the Frenchman says to the American, "Dropping two atomic bombs on Japan was a terrible mistake." The Chinese nods. "You should have dropped more than two."
A Frenchman can't always win...
They have Toulouse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, and Irishman...
, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Scot, a Mexican, an, African, a Portuguese, a Swede, a German, and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
I'm sorry, says the maître'D, But you can't come in here without a Thai.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Frenchman say to the German at the u**...?
European
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.
The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks Can you see me? and they respond
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja
Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.
Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*
So, a Frenchman, an American and a Russian are at a car show.
Frenchman looks at the show car and says "we French also have good cars. At home we drive Citroen, but when we go abroad we drive the luxurious Renault".
The American agrees, and says "we also drive Ford pickups at home, but abroad we drive Cadillacs to impress".
The Russian thinks for a bit and says: "_da_, in Russia we drive Lada. In other countries, we drive T-72."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman is arrested for m**...
He is convicted by an eye-witness acount. He then breaks out of jail and stabs his witness with a baguette. The witness' son sees this and stabs the killer with another baguette.
Vengeance baguettes more vengeance.
A frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulde wearing a tuxedo
"Well isn't he beautiful" Says the bartender. "Where did you get him?"
"In France, there are tons of them." the parrot replies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"
They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're n**... and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.
"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A classic Russian joke...
An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:
The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.
The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.
The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of v**... and the two fellas back!"
A Frenchman, a German and an American walk into a bar
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the Frenchman, "I must have wine!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the German, "I must have beer!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the American, "I must have diabetes..."
The tunnel
An Englishman, a Frenchmen, a young woman, and an old lady, are sitting together on a train when it goes through a tunnel. A loud slap is heard, and then the Frenchman is rubbing his face.
The old lady thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the young woman, and she slapped him'
The young woman thinks 'I bet he tried to touch the old lady thinking it was me, and she slapped him'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet the Englishman tried to touch the young woman, and she thought it was me, so she slapped me'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for the next tunnel so I can slap him again'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water
They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux t**...". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux t**... cat sank"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Irishman walk into a bar
The Irishman is like, "Aw s**..., this one's about me isn't it."
A man is speaking at a conference
A man is speaking at a multi lingual conference.
He asks, "can everyone see me?"
The Englishman says "Yes"
The Frenchman says "Oui"
The Spaniard says "Si"
And the German says "Ja"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Frenchman with a f**...?
Piedophile
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.
After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."
The Englishman suddenly grabs the darkest baby and sprints towards the door.
The doctor shouts: "Sir! What are you doing!!!?"
The Englishman as he's getting farther: "I'm not raising no b**... Frenchman!"
A Frenchman, a Dutchman and a German walk into a bar...
Normally there also would've been a Belgian, an Englishman and an Italian, but they couldn't come since they're still at the European Championship.
What's The Difference Between A Breeze On A Cattle Farm And A Frenchman's Buttocks?
One is dairy air, and the other is derriere.
Real happiness
A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman were discussing the meaning of real happiness
The English said "real happiness is reading a good book on a rainy night with a hot cup of tea by your side"
The Frenchman said : "non mon ami, real happiness is to meet a beautiful girl make love to her, then you go your separate ways never meeting again"
The Russian : "no you are both wrong, real happiness is when secret police come to your house in middle of night and tell you: Ivan Ivanovich you arrested for conspiracing against the state and you tell them : sorry Ivan Ivanovich lives next door."
