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French Military Jokes

14 french military jokes and hilarious french military puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about french military that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest French Military Short Jokes

Short french military jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The french military humour may include short french army jokes also.

  1. Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*
  2. This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris... ... Effectively crippling the French military.
  3. Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane? He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.
  4. What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ? The phrase "I surrender" in german
  5. I heard that there was a French military leader who used to extract bone marrow. His name was Napoleon Bone apart
  6. How are French cars and their military the same? Both are slow, don't work in the cold and are usually outperformed by Germans.

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French Military One Liners

Which french military one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with french military? I can suggest the ones about french war and france war.

  1. TIL that French military units do not fly the French flag. They use a white flag instead.
  2. Did you hear about the new French military band? It's called Flogging Mali.
  3. Did you hear about the gay French General?
    He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty French Military Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about french military you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean french resistance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make french military pranks.

Many people recognize that the Russian flag is an homage to the French flag.

But did you know their military flag is an homage to the old French military flag as well? The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. Now the Russians use the same one, just rotated 90 degrees.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

French Jokes

What's the standard issue weapon in the French army? A white flag.
What's the only French martial art? Parkour, the art running away.
Like the entrance to Hogwarts, if you look at the French flag from exactly the right angle (like that of an invading army), it turns white.
An American, Russian, and French soldier see a German machine gunner. The Russian calls on his comrades to repeatedly s**... charge the German until he runs out of bullets. The American calls for a synchronized b**... strike using the full might the American military to obliterate the German (and all the nearby land). The Frenchman gets blown up by the American strike, because he already surrendered and was taken prisoner by the German.
For sale: A French rifle. Never fired, dropped once.
What's the difference between a French soldier and a brain-dead jugghead? The jugghead runs towards the battle.
Inspired by the American president. The French prime-minister ordered his secret service to carry around a locked briefcase that can only be unlocked by the prime-minister in case of an emergency war. Inside is said to be the controls to the national white-flag system.
What's the French military motto? Don't shoot, we surrender.