Freezer Jokes
111 freezer jokes and hilarious freezer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about freezer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Freezer Short Jokes
Short freezer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The freezer humour may include short refrigerator jokes also.
- My wife laughed when I said I still had the body of an 18 year old. Until she checked the freezer.
- My wife laughed when I said I still have the body of a 25 year old. Until I showed it to her in the freezer.
- My 9 year old son has started asking awkward questions about the human body... I suppose the freezer wasn't the best place to hide it.
- My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I have the body of 20 year old Her opinion changed when I opened the freezer
- Why should you never store meat on the top shelf of the freezer? The steaks would be too high.
- Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank? So you always have access to cold hard cash...
- Since COVID-19, I have the body of a 50 year old, the brain of a 40 year old and the heart of a 25 year old. All tucked away nicely in my freezer!
- I dropped an ice cube next to the freezer. It melted and got my sock wet the next time I went to the kitchen. I was mad at first, but now it's mostly water under the fridge.
- Anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer for? I put one in last night and when I checked it this morning, it was dead.
- I said "Son, did you eat the ice cream in the freezer?" He said "No, I ate it on the couch."
Share These Freezer Jokes With Friends
Freezer One Liners
Which freezer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with freezer? I can suggest the ones about fridge and freezing.
- I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer
- What's big and white and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A freezer.
- What does a pirate say when he puts his peg leg in a freezer? Shiver me timbers!
- I'm thinking of donating my body to science It's taking up too much space in the freezer.
- What can be found in a Judge's freezer? Just ice.
- I just put a bottle antifreeze in the freezer. Place your bets now.
- What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
- I have the perfect body of a 21 year old female... It's in a freezer in my basement
- Why did the chicken lock itself in the freezer? to get to the other side.
- I like my women how I like my freezers.. Cold and empty inside.
- What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer? Ice is.
- I have the body of a 20 year old model... Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer.
- Keeping fruit juice in the freezer It's impopsicle!
- I'm 17 and have the body of a 5 year old My date: prove it
Me: *opens freezer* - Do you know how to make a good vegetarian chili? Stick her in the freezer.
Fridge Freezer Jokes
Here is a list of funny fridge freezer jokes and even better fridge freezer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I bought my mother a new fridge freezer for her birthday.. I know it's not much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.
- My fridge started making weird noises I opened the freezer door and told it to chill out
- When you throw a match at your fridge... You know you've got serious freezer burn.
Fun-Filled Freezer Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about freezer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frozen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make freezer pranks.
Ted Bundy asks Jeffrey d**... you got any ice cream in the freezer?
Nah, just Ben and j**... Jeffrey replies.
I like my women like i like my coffee...
...Always there to brighten my morning
...Decaffeinated
...Black and strong
...Tall
...Grande
...Brazilian
...With sauce
...Twice before I leave the house
...Right before I smoke
...Bitter and cold
...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a p**...
...Slow roasted
...Ground up in my freezer
...With boiling water poured over them
...Light and sweet
...A day old
I like my women like I like my plastic wrap.
Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested.
What did the man say about his kitchen?
I hate it. The knifes think they're so sharp, the refrigerator thinks that he's so cool, and my freezer is cold-hearted.
I like my women like I like my carrots...
Chopped up, in a plastic bag at the back of the freezer.
Guy sits down at a diner
He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.
The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".
What's the difference between a 13 year old girl and a cow?
No really, what's the difference? I accidentally mixed up all the meat in my freezer.
Girls are often surprised when I tell them that I have a horsecock....
But they always run away screaming when I pull it out of the freezer..
How do you make a dog meow?
Put it in the freezer for three days. Run it through a bandsaw.
Meoooooow.
Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey d**...'s freezer?
Ben and j**...
A man doesn't know how to turn on his freezer
He goes to his friend for help. Happy to help, his friend explains what to do.
His friend asks "do you need me to explain it anymore?"
The man says "No thanks, icy now".
I take my coffee how I take my women...
ground up and in the freezer.
I went to see Walt Disney on ice
It was a bit disappointing, just an old bloke in a freezer.
What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC]
Icy dead people!
What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?
The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.
What's the difference between a freezer and a woman?
A freezer doesn't f**... when I pull my meat out.
Horrible animal jokes inside.
How do you get a dog to sound like a cat? Stick it in the freezer for a few hours, then run it through a bandsaw and it goes "MRRREEOOW".
BONUS JOKE: How do you get a cat to sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it up and it goes "WHOOF".
Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles?
Because he wanted just ice.
Two Chefs get in an argument,
And they split the kitchen right down the middle.
One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his.
So the first Chef looks at the other and says
"What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."
The second Chef looks over and tells him
"I have thyme on my side."
Did you read about the skeleton trapped in the freezer?
It was a bone-chilling story.
How do you make hard cider?
Put it in the freezer.
After years of hard work and dedication, I can finally say that I have that s**... body I've always wanted.
It's in my freezer.
People are like snowflakes.
If you crush them into a ball and leave them in your freezer overnight, they're dangerous to throw at other people.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't f**... when you take out the sausage.
My wife was struggling to open the freezer
In the end she gave up, and froze to death.
Holding my wife's head under the blankets while I f**... always makes me laugh.
Especially when I remember the rest of her body down there in the freezer.
How do you make a strawberry shake?
You put it in the freezer.
What do you get when you cross ice and fire?
Freezer burn.
A blind man walks into a freezer...
"I was blind, but now icy."
Don't know how to cook
I don't really know how to cook, so I just end up eating frozen food. I usually get some turkey and store it in the freezer for the next day. However, one day I've heard about the dangers of eating frozen food and how it badly affects my health, it was at this moment that I realized that I had to quit cold turkey.
Defrosting a freezer is like picking your nose
It's so satisfying when you manage to pull out an exceptionally large chunk!
I have the body of a 22-year-old model
He's in my freezer, and now I have no room for my ice cream.
A statistician had his head in the freezer and his feet in the oven...
And said, "On the average, I feel comfortable".
A Butcher is Selling Meat and Has One Chicken Left
A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
Great! Says the woman, I'll take them both!
This bar that was near my house turned into a f**... home awhile back.
The place isn't as alive as it used to be, but they've still got some cold ones in the freezer.
I was taking care of my friend's snake while he was on vacation, but somehow it crawled into our freezer and died...
I asked my wife, "What should I tell him?"
She said, "Just give it to him straight."
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
Im only 43 but have the body of a 25 year old.
It's in my freezer though.
What do you call two blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes
What do you call two gay men in a freezer regulated at a certain temperature?
Homostasis.
Why did the edgy teenager lock himself in the freezer ?
He taught it was cool.
What's the difference between a deep freezer and your old lady?
THE DEEP FREEZE DOESN'T f**... WHEN YOU PULL YOUR MEAT OUT IF IT.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and a freezer?
My freezer can't complain when I put my meat in.
I caught Buzz Lightyear m**... in my freezer.
He said I come in peas.
You know one the main reasons Jeffrey d**... got caught was because his freezer stopped working and the smell became so bad the neighbors were complaining.
The cops came to his door and said "We heard you were keeping a bunch of spoiled brats in here"
I have something very fresh for yall
A dead body in my freezer, please help
I like my coffee like I like my women...
...Ground up in the freezer.
My family was coming over for dinner.
So I went to get a chicken out of the freezer when my husband walked up and scared me i turned and knocked him out with a chicken to the forehead.
.
.
.
I guess you could say he got cold-cocked
Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube's great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a very well thawed out plan
Man: Hey man, do you have icecream in the freezer?
Jeffrey d**...: Nah dude, only Ben and j**....
What has 4 legs, 1 arm, and 2 heads?
My freezer.
[Original] Some food has been in my house for so long that even the freezer could not save it from expiration.
I keep putting off throwing the items away, which is only delaying the inedible.
Swearing parrot
So this woman has a parrot that is always swearing and she doesn't know how to make him stop. So she decides to take him to her vet for some advice on it. He tells her to put him in the freezer for 10 seconds next time he swears. So later that day the parrot starts swearing and she decides to try it. After 10 seconds she takes him out and he says to her, "I'm so sorry about all the swearing, it'll never happen again. & btw, can you tell me what the chicken did"?
My uncle died of hypothermia. Robbers took him and locked him inside a freezer of which the temperature was just slightly below 4 degrees.
It was the worst case of 3rd degree m**... I've ever heard of.
Ted Bundy and Jeffery d**... have dinner together
Ted: hey Jeff you got any ice cream in the freezer?
Jeffrey: nah, only Ben and j**...
A man buys a parrot but the only thing it does is insult the man...
After spending hours trying every possible solution to get it to shut up the man decides to put the parrot in the freezer. A few minutes pass and the parrot falls silent. Thinking he might of killed it the man opens the freezer and finds the parrot shivering but alive. S-s-sorry for i-i-i-insulting you s-sir. I p-p-promise I'll s-s-stop . The man takes the the parrot out of the freezer and after a few minutes the parrot shyly says i-if you don't mind m-me asking... w-what did the t-t-turkey do?
Cake Day Joke!
An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!
She said, I can teach it good manners.
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, Did you learn your lesson? It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet.
The parrot said Brr… Yes I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do?
Why did the water jump into the freezer?
Because it caught coronavirus and had to self ice-olate!
(made up by my 7 year old!)
We learned about oxymorons.
It was very fun, there were many examples.
freezer burn, original copy, exact estimate, truthful politician, caring insurance, Microsoft Works, and more!
A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk
He started h**... everything he could lay his wings on .
The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.
The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.
After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.
The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.
The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'
I'm 42 years old, but I have the body of a 19 year old!
She left when I opened the freezer.
How long can you keep a chicken in the freezer?
I asked my neighbour, how long can you keep a chicken in the freezer?
She said, about a month or so
Me, that's strange, I put one in last night and this morning it was dead
