Ridiculous Freeze Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
I told my friend I was going to freeze myself to -273 degrees celsius.
He seemed concerned, but I said I'll be OK.
The Skunk
One cold night, this couple was driving down the road, and the girl notices this black ball of fur on the side of the road. She makes him pull over, and she sees that it's a skunk that's about to freeze to death. She asks him, "Can we bring him with us in the truck to warm it up?"
He says, "I guess it's okay. Bring him in."
She goes, "Where can I warm him up?"
"Put him between your legs, that'll warm him up."
"Well, what about the smell?"
"You can hold it's nose, can't you?"
A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked...
her class what kind of sound a pig makes.
Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"
Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin?
He's 0K now
The police break into a blender's apartment.
The police point their guns at the blender and say "Freeze! You've been charged with first degree m**...!".
The blender frantically responds " Wait officers, this is a big mix-up!
Does Mr. Freeze have to let his meat thaw...
...before he beats it?
Why did the computer freeze?
It got frostbyte.
Slogan for a s**... Bank Advertisement
"You squeeze it, we freeze it!"
Little Johnny at the playground
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
Why are bank offices so cold?
They're trying to freeze their assets.
A middle-aged teacher named Mrs. Jackson saw one of her first grade boys making rude faces at the preschoolers on the playground
She said "You know, Liam, when I was a little girl I was told that if I made ugly faces it might freeze and stay like that."
Liam replied "Well sorry Mrs. Jackson, but you can't say you weren't warned.
You can explore freeze defrost reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean freeze thaw dad jokes. There are also freeze puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?
Netflix and chill.
Why did the blonde freeze a p**... of boiling water?
Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.
Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter...
I've fallen on some hard Times.
What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?
Just-ice
What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?
An ice Kareem clone
You can freeze a human to -273.15 C
He'd be 0K.
a scientist wants to freeze me to absolute 0 for an experiment
i was a bit worried,
but he said it was 0 K
Do you know what would happen if you'd freeze someone to -273.15 degrees Clesius?
That person would be 0K
How do you freeze a tart ?
Pull the covers to your side
When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag,
So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops
Hypercool
Did you know that if you freeze someone at -273.15 degrees Centigrade, they will be 0K
Why did a pair of blondes freeze to death outside the movie theater?
Because they wanted to watch "Closed for Winter".
What's the best motto for a s**... bank?
"You squeeze it, we freeze it"
I've decided to freeze myself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius.
My friends all think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K.
I've decided to freeze myself at -273°C.
My friend thinks I'll die, but I think I'll be 0K.
How do you freeze a cow?
Roll over and take all of the blankets.
Deep freeze prevents things go bad
And my mother in law definitely showed signs of going bad, officer.
It was a logical thing to do.
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
Ugly Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
Why did the American prepare peach gelato?
To demonstrate her right to freeze peach!
Why did Stephen Hawking get deferred from the cryogenics lab?
Because the doctors knew you shouldn't freeze vegetables.
A man walks into a bank with a branch.
He stands in the middle of the room holding his branch in front of himself and shouts, "Freeze! This is a stick-up!"
Your government in action
Management ordered refrigerators be installed in the datacenter before the Easter code freeze
If you're tired of boiling water for pasta
then boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.
The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."
The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."
The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...
The stop road signs in Siberia don't say Stop
They say Freeze
Even if the universe ends with a Big Freeze
We'll still be 0K!
What's the difference between a deep freezer and your old lady?
THE DEEP FREEZE DOESN'T f**... WHEN YOU PULL YOUR MEAT OUT IF IT.
In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow...
Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
What did Batman serve Mr. Freeze?
Just ice.
Im going to freeze myself at -273.15 °C
My friends are worried, but ill be 0K
Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is the medical term for brain freeze.
A quick way you can get this is by eating an ice cream...
or by trying to say the medical term for brain freeze.
(91 year old grandfather told me this one) why don't ants freeze in the winter?
because they have ANTi-freeze
As an adult I think I understand why Mr. Freeze got so upset when he had to put his wife, Nora, on Ice
After all no one likes cold Fries.
Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?
Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
Even if the universe ended in a big freeze
We'd be 0K
what do you get if you cross an octopus with a scorpion?
A freeze on your funding, and an immediate visit from the ethics committee.
A year ago my friend thought it would be funny to freeze himself to absolute zero.
He's 0k now.
I was freezed to absolute zero once,
And it was 0k.
A scientist figured out a way to freeze time.
It involved having to perform special exercise, because
the planks constant.
So.. When Mr Freeze leaves a crime scene..
So... when Mr Freeze has left a crime scene, you know its his work because people are frozen/there are frozen objects around right?
I would go as far to say thats him leaving his "Cooling Card"
You can freeze yourself to -273.15℃
You'll be 0K.
Why did the two blondes freeze to death at the drive in cinema?
They went to see Closed for the Winter .
Tinder is completely useless, and I don't have a single match
If I don't find another way to start a campfire tonight, I'll freeze to death.
My wife of 25 years laughed when I said I still had the body of a s**... model.
Until she checked the deep freeze in the garage.
What do you call it when you freeze sprite?
Sprice.
What happens when you leave your citizens to freeze in the cold?
They turn blue.
What freezes when it gets to hot
A Computer.
What do you get if you dip your b**... in ice cream?
Brain freeze.
How did Batman defeat Mr Freeze?
He In-salted Him.
What does a zombie call a brain freeze?
A frozen dinner
Why did the computer freeze?
Because somebody left Windows open.
I hate this new king, my landlord is ripping me to starvation and i might freeze this winter.
Gildford from 13 th century
Why are California almond farmers so concerned about the record cold temperatures?
They don't want their nuts to freeze off.
