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Freeze Jokes

98 freeze jokes and hilarious freeze puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about freeze that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for ways to liven up your next party or conversation? Check out this hilarious collection of Freeze Jokes! Get ready to defrost your brain and enjoy some hilarious puns, jokes, and one-liners inspired by Mr. Freeze and other cryo-related topics.

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Funniest Freeze Short Jokes

Short freeze jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The freeze humour may include short freezing jokes also.

  1. I've decided to freeze myself at -273°C. My friend thinks I'll die, but I think I'll be 0K.
  2. I've decided to freeze myself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius. My friends all think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K.
  3. When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag, So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops
  4. Record low temperatures causing snow and freezing all over the southern United States. Finally: white people in Texas are having problems with ICE.
  5. Tinder is completely useless, and I don't have a single match If I don't find another way to start a campfire tonight, I'll freeze to death.
  6. A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked... her class what kind of sound a pig makes.
    Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"
  7. I told my friend I was going to freeze myself to -273 degrees celsius. He seemed concerned, but I said I'll be OK.
  8. In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow... Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
  9. Do you know what would happen if you'd freeze someone to -273.15 degrees Clesius? That person would be 0K
  10. What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar? An ice Kareem clone

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Freeze One Liners

Which freeze one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with freeze? I can suggest the ones about frozen and cold.

  1. You can freeze a human to -273.15 C He'd be 0K.
  2. Im going to freeze myself at -273.15 °C My friends are worried, but ill be 0K
  3. Even if the universe ends with a Big Freeze We'll still be 0K!
  4. What happens when you leave your citizens to freeze in the cold? They turn blue.
  5. I was freezed to absolute zero once, And it was 0k.
  6. I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.
  7. What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice game? "Freeze" tag!
  8. What do you call a dog that's freezing? A chili dog.
  9. Why did the computer freeze? Because somebody left Windows open.
  10. What does a blonde do when her computer freezes? She puts in in the microwave.
  11. What do you call it when you freeze sprite? Sprice.
  12. Did you hear about the man who tried to freeze himself at 0° Kelvin? He's 0K now
  13. Winter- Pros: Chestnuts roasting. Cons: Deez nuts freezing.
  14. A German tourist jumped in freezing water to save my precious little dog from drowning.
  15. What does a zombie call a brain freeze? A frozen dinner

Mr Freeze Jokes

Here is a list of funny mr freeze jokes and even better mr freeze puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How did Batman defeat Mr Freeze? He In-salted Him.
  • What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill.
  • What did Batman serve Mr. Freeze? Just ice.
  • Does Mr. Freeze have to let his meat thaw... ...before he beats it?
  • As an adult I think I understand why Mr. Freeze got so upset when he had to put his wife, Nora, on Ice After all no one likes cold Fries.
  • Mr Freeze vs. Black Panther. Who wins? Black Panther, because he nevah freeze
  • What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals? The Dark Knightrogen
  • Netflix and CHILL ... It turns out, it's not just for Mr Freeze.

Freeze Brain Jokes

Here is a list of funny freeze brain jokes and even better freeze brain puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is the medical term for brain freeze. A quick way you can get this is by eating an ice cream...
    or by trying to say the medical term for brain freeze.
  • When you get a brain freeze from a margarita you know you have problems
  • What do you get if you dip your b**... in ice cream? Brain freeze.
Freeze joke, What do you get if you dip your b**... in ice cream?

Freeze joke, What do you get if you dip your b**... in ice cream?

Ridiculous Freeze Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about freeze you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make freeze pranks.

Two quick jokes

How do you make a dog go meow? Freeze it in a block of ice an run it through a band-saw... MMMEEEOOOOWWWW!
How do you make a cat go woof? Pour kerosene on it an drop a match... WOOOFF!

The Skunk

One cold night, this couple was driving down the road, and the girl notices this black ball of fur on the side of the road. She makes him pull over, and she sees that it's a skunk that's about to freeze to death. She asks him, "Can we bring him with us in the truck to warm it up?"
He says, "I guess it's okay. Bring him in."
She goes, "Where can I warm him up?"
"Put him between your legs, that'll warm him up."
"Well, what about the smell?"
"You can hold it's nose, can't you?"

The minute the great man dies, cryogenics should be employed until a cure is found for old age and chest problems...

Freeze Nelson Mandela!

hwo do you make a dog go "meow"?

Freeze it solid, then oush it through a band saw.
MEEEEEEEOOOOOWW!

Know any good anti jokes?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
*He was hit by a bus.*
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was dead.*
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
*He was stapled to the first monkey.*
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
*Pour gasoline on it and light it on fire, WOOF!*
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
*freeze it and take a band saw to it, MRREEEOOOOOWW!*
How do you make a plumber cry?
*you kill his family.*

The police break into a blender's apartment.

The police point their guns at the blender and say "Freeze! You've been charged with first degree m**...!".
The blender frantically responds " Wait officers, this is a big mix-up!

Why did the computer freeze?

It got frostbyte.

Slogan for a s**... Bank Advertisement

"You squeeze it, we freeze it!"

Little Johnny at the playground

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Why are bank offices so cold?

They're trying to freeze their assets.

A middle-aged teacher named Mrs. Jackson saw one of her first grade boys making rude faces at the preschoolers on the playground

She said "You know, Liam, when I was a little girl I was told that if I made ugly faces it might freeze and stay like that."
Liam replied "Well sorry Mrs. Jackson, but you can't say you weren't warned.

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Why did the blonde freeze a p**... of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter...

I've fallen on some hard Times.

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

a scientist wants to freeze me to absolute 0 for an experiment

i was a bit worried,
but he said it was 0 K

How do you freeze a tart ?

Pull the covers to your side

Hypercool

Did you know that if you freeze someone at -273.15 degrees Centigrade, they will be 0K

What do you get if you freeze v**...?

Liquorice

Why did a pair of blondes freeze to death outside the movie theater?

Because they wanted to watch "Closed for Winter".

What's the best motto for a s**... bank?

"You squeeze it, we freeze it"

How do you freeze a cow?

Roll over and take all of the blankets.

Deep freeze prevents things go bad

And my mother in law definitely showed signs of going bad, officer.
It was a logical thing to do.

A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear

The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."

Ugly Faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Why did the American prepare peach gelato?

To demonstrate her right to freeze peach!

Why did Stephen Hawking get deferred from the cryogenics lab?

Because the doctors knew you shouldn't freeze vegetables.

A man walks into a bank with a branch.

He stands in the middle of the room holding his branch in front of himself and shouts, "Freeze! This is a stick-up!"

Your government in action

Management ordered refrigerators be installed in the datacenter before the Easter code freeze

If you're tired of boiling water for pasta

then boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."
The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."
The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...

The stop road signs in Siberia don't say Stop

They say Freeze

What's the difference between a deep freezer and your old lady?

THE DEEP FREEZE DOESN'T f**... WHEN YOU PULL YOUR MEAT OUT IF IT.

What do the Reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

(91 year old grandfather told me this one) why don't ants freeze in the winter?

because they have ANTi-freeze

Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?

Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

Even if the universe ended in a big freeze

We'd be 0K

what do you get if you cross an octopus with a scorpion?

A freeze on your funding, and an immediate visit from the ethics committee.

A year ago my friend thought it would be funny to freeze himself to absolute zero.

He's 0k now.

A scientist figured out a way to freeze time.

It involved having to perform special exercise, because
the planks constant.

So.. When Mr Freeze leaves a crime scene..

So... when Mr Freeze has left a crime scene, you know its his work because people are frozen/there are frozen objects around right?
I would go as far to say thats him leaving his "Cooling Card"

You can freeze yourself to -273.15℃

You'll be 0K.

Why did the two blondes freeze to death at the drive in cinema?

They went to see Closed for the Winter .

My wife of 25 years laughed when I said I still had the body of a s**... model.

Until she checked the deep freeze in the garage.

What freezes when it gets to hot

A Computer.

I hate this new king, my landlord is ripping me to starvation and i might freeze this winter.

Gildford from 13 th century

Why are California almond farmers so concerned about the record cold temperatures?

They don't want their nuts to freeze off.

Freeze joke, Why are California almond farmers so concerned about the record cold temperatures?

jokes about freeze