The Best 52 Freeway Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Freeway jokes. There are some freeway intersection jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these freeway overpass puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Freeway Jokes and Puns

A man gets pulled over on the freeway...

And the cop asks him, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

The man thinks for a bit, then turns to him and says, "Well, seeing that you caught up to me, clearly not fast enough."

A woman hears a traffic report on the radio and calls her husband, who's on his way to work.

"Be careful, dear, I heard on the radio that there's some idiot driving the wrong way on the freeway."

"There isn't one guy driving the wrong way, they all are!"

How did the turtle cross the freeway?

I'll give you a hint: take the "F" out of "Free" and the "F" out of "way".

Freeway joke, How did the turtle cross the freeway?

This cop spots this blond driving

This cop spots this blond driving on the freeway knitting!

Pull Over! he yells.

No! She yells back, Cardigan!

A wife is at home watching the news.

On the TV she sees footage of a crazy man driving the wrong way on the freeway. She realizes her husband takes the same path home from work. She immediately calls him and warns him of the danger. She says, "Be careful! There's a crazy man driving on the wrong side of the freeway!"

The husband replies, "One!? There's hundreds of them!"

It's a Miracle, I tell yeah!

A police officer notices a car swerving on the freeway, so he pulls it over. As he walks up to the car he notices the driver is a priest.

"Anything to drink today, father?", the officer asks.

"No, just water", replies the priest.

"Then why do I smell wine on your breath?, rebutted the officer.

The father looks at the officer with wide open eyes and replies in astonishment," SWEET JESUS! I can't believe it! He's done it again!! IT'S A MIRACLE! "

First joke I ever learned

An elderly man arrives home from bingo and his wife comes running up to him.

"Thank goodness you're home safe! I was watching the news and apparently a lunatic was driving down the wrong side of the freeway!"

He responds, "*A* Lunatic? There were hundreds of them!"

Freeway joke, First joke I ever learned

How do you get an elephant across the freeway?

Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out "way".


*victim says "there's no F in way"*

(there's no effin' way)

I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful

My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.

How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?

An old woman calls her husband...

and says "You will never believe what I just saw on the news. There is a car driving the wrong way down the freeway."

Her husband replies "It's not just one. There are hundreds of the maniacs."

Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway?

To get to the *other side*

You can explore freeway lane reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean freeway boulevard dad jokes. There are also freeway puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There was a pile up on the freeway....

reportedly due to a bunch of old underwear, scattered all over the road. No one is sure how they got there, but there were skidmarks everywhere

A cop pulled me over on the freeway.

He said "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over today?"

I said "No sir."

He told me "I clocked you in at 80 mph in a 65."

I tried to reason with him, saying "well officer, you see, I was just trying to keep up with traffic."

He looked at me puzzled and retorted "there's nobody else on this road for miles..."

"but that's how far behind I am."

An elderly woman rang her husband while he was driving...

He heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Darling, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way down the freeway, please be careful!"
He replied, "There's not just one car, there's hundreds of them!"

I always go the extra mile...

because I always miss the exit on the freeway.

One day on the freeway

Freeway joke, One day on the freeway

What was an elephant doing on the freeway?

About 5 miles per hour.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "My dear husband, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 10. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said the husband, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.

Experts say it was caused by a race condition.

How does a person with no arms or legs cross a freeway?

Hint: Take the F out of Free and the F out of way.

I hate human trafficking...

Especially on the 91 freeway, that shit's the worst

An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...

... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.

"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".

"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

A car with 3 engineers and 1 computer scientist stalls on the freeway...

The mechanical engineer says: "lets check the carborator, it's probably the carborator"
The chemical engineer says: "its most likely the gas line, lets check that"
The electrical engineer says: "no, it has to be the car's circuts"
The computer scientist thinks for a minute and says: "lets all get out of the car and get back in"

A man is driving on the freeway

His wife calls him
Wife: Be careful honey, there was a news report about a crazy driver on the same freeway you're on
Man: I think all of them are crazy. Everyone's going backwards! (My friends told me this joke at school)

My mother told me I was born on the freeway...

That's where most accidents happen.

Don't be dissuaded by North Korea's new street

Before you know it they'll open a new freeway!

Driving along the freeway I overtook a female driver doing her make up in the mirror..

I was so shocked I dropped my razor in my coffee.

A man is on his way home from work...

He gets stuck in traffic. So he calls his wife and says "Honey, im stuck in traffic right now, and it doesn't look like it wil be clearing up anytime soon. Im probably gonna be late." So the wife says, "Ok, baby, but be careful. I heard on the news that there is a crazy driver driving on the wrong side of the freeway." The man replies: "One driver? There are hundreds of them!"

How does a man with no arms and no legs get across the freeway?

You take the 'R' out of FREE and the 'F' out of WAY.

A old man was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.

"Herbert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herbert, "It's hundreds of them!"

A guy goes speeding down the freeway at 2am on a Sunday morning, when he gets stopped by a cop.

Officer: Son, i've been waiting for you all day.

Driver: Sorry officer, i got here as fast as i could.

While on a busy freeway, a blonde suddenly stomps on the brakes.

Why'd you do that? her friend says.

Didn't you see the sign? It said BREAK FAST AHEAD

This musician kept gradually slowing down in front of me on the freeway

What a ritard.

I don't know why people complain about using your phone whilst driving.

I can drive on the freeway and post this comment at the sa

A warning to be careful about drunk driving..

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to Tequila. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home.

On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as....

I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..

I don't get no respect.

Last week my car broke down on the freeway. I asked a guy for a tow. He gave me a finger.

What did one homeless man say to the other during a hobo orgy?

It's not gay if it's in a freeway.

Wife calls her husband and says, Be careful driving home. Some idiot is driving the wrong direction on the freeway.

Husband frantically replies, No! It's not just one guy going the wrong direction! There's dozens of them!

A man is driving down the freeway

when his wife calls him. He picks up and asks what the matter is. She says, "I want you to be careful honey, I heard on the radio there's a lunatic barreling down the highway going the wrong way." He replies, "it's much worse than that, there's hundreds of them

Why was the freeway jam packed with bald eagles driving cars?

Because this traffic is for the birds......

I saw some exercise equipment by the side of the freeway the other day...

Someone had been trying to take it home but it didn't work out.

I wish Ford installed heated bumpers.

Would keep my hands warm while I'm pushing it to the side of the freeway.

What happened when a tanker truck full of salsa overturned on an LA freeway?

CHiPs showed up.

How does a turtle with no flippers get across the freeway?

Here's a clue, take the f out of free, and then take the f out of way.

A man is driving home for Christmas and a gets a call from his daughter:

"Dad be careful, apparently some nutter is driving the wrong way down the freeway"

"It's not just one, it's hundreds of them!"

Freeway on ramps and off ramps would be way more exciting if you actually ramped.

Freeway on ramps and off ramps would be way more exciting if you actually ramped.

An elderly woman was watching tv one afternoon

There was a story on the news about a driver on the freeway driving the wrong way

She knew her husband was going to the store, so she called him

Dear be careful, there is a car on the freeway driving the wrong way!

One!?, There's hundreds of them!

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway, when his phone rang

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Yo momma so fat...

she don't work the street corner, she work the freeway!

An old man is driving on the Freeway, when his wife calls him

"Honey, be careful, there is a madman driving on the wrong side of the freeway. I just heard this on the radio".

*"Not just one honey, I see hundreds of them, they are all driving on the wrong side"*

A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver pull over

No! yelled the woman it's a cardigan

I found out today that I was actually born on a freeway

My mom says that's where most accidents happen

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the freeway underpass jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working freeway speeder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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