freeman Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious freeman puns

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

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5 people are in a plane that is about to crash.

The five people are:
-Trump
-Morgan Freeman
-Larry Page
-The Pope
-A schoolboy

There are only 4 parachutes.

Morgan freeman says that he is an entertainer of millions, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Larry Page says that he founded Google, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Trump says that he is the smartest man in America, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

There are only two people left, and one parachute. The Pope says "I have lived a long and happy life, you can take the parachute" to the schoolboy.

The schoolboy replies "no, it's OK, we can both go, the smartest man in America took my backpack!"

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What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

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Why can't you hear Django Freeman have sex?

*The D is silent*

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What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

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What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war?

Morgan.

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Morgan was once a slave...

...now he's a Freeman.

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Morgan Freeman has been accused of sexual abuse.

He can't play God anymore. Just a priest.

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What's the opposite of Martin Shkreli?

Martin Freeman.

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I heard that if a girl is attracted to you she speaks in a higher pitched voice...

I was wondering why every girl I know sounds like Morgan Freeman

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Brad Pitt visits his doctor. "Hey Doc, you ever see me in that movie Seven with Morgurt Freeman?"

"Uh do you mean Morgan?"

"Oh yeah, sorry Doc. Morgurt Morgan".

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Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year!

(Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year.

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I want Morgan Freeman to narrate a highlight reel of my life...

But I heard that silent movies don't do too well in today's market.

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Too bad about Morgan Freeman

Loved him in Half Life

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What so you call an actor who paid of his house

Mortgage freeman (i know its bad)

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What did Gordon Freeman experience when he turned 40?

A Half Life crisis.

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Internet Explorer is actually my favorite browser..

To download other browsers with

Abraham Lincoln, 1863

-Morgan Freeman

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Half Life 3 was going to be released several years ago...

...But the voice actor for Gordon Freeman was supposed to announce it, and no-one can find him.

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What roles do Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman play in the new Black Panther movie?

They're the tolkien white guys of the film.

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There's no way Morgan freeman was accused of sexual assault.

god wouldn't do that.

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[OC] Did you hear about the actor who quit his job to become a Medical Examiner in a small town in Virginia?

It's true: Morgan Freeman works at a morgue in Freeman.

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I'm creating a tv show where a man who lives with dead people is proved innocent of a crime

Its called Morgue and Freeman

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What do you call Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman in Black Panther?

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What happened when Morgan Freeman donated his kidney?

He became an organ free man.

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Its said that Morgan Freeman gets a freckle for every...

Time he sexually harrasses someone

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Why did Morgan Freeman kick out Adam and Eve out of Eden?

Because he wanted to see him naked.

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You can't lock Morgan freeman up!

He is a freeman

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You can't lock Morgan up!

He is a freeman.

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Why is Morgan Freeman?

Because he hasn't gone to court yet.

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Why did 5 women accuse Morgan Freeman of sexual misconduct?

They mistook him for Bill Cosby.

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Why did Morgan Freeman sexually harass women?

Because he's a free-man.

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What do you call someone who hunts down Gordon Freeman?

A pry-vateer

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if Morgan Freeman is late for brunch

do his friends call him an "unreliable narrator"?

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The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They are the Token white guys.

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Legendary actor Morgan Freeman dead

-on when it comes to narrating historical dramas.

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Morgan Freeman got bald

Now he goes by the name Samuel L Jackson

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Watching Gordon Ramsay cooking videos

My mind keep telling his name is Gordon Freeman.

Like I can't differentiate a spatula and a crowbar.

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What do you call a black man who has just paid off his house loan?

Mortgage Freeman.

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Some day I hope to meet God

Morgan Freeman, I'm a huge fan

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What did Morgan Freeman call his gluten-free restaurant in German?

Gluten Morgan

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I use to hate the Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman movie 'The Sum of All Fears'.

Then I moved to Baltimore. Now it is my favorite movie of all time!

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If Morgan Freeman went to prison he'd be

Red.

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Breaking: Man stabbed and killed Morgan Freeman

's granddaughter

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God is everywhere.

That's why Morgan Freeman is in every seat of the plane.

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Morgan took drugs.

Morgan was arrested.
Morgan was rich.
Morgan bailed out.
Morgan Freeman.

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What are the best Freeman puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Freeman? Well, here are the best jokes about Freeman to have fun with.

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