Freeman Jokes

What are some Freeman jokes?

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

Why can't you hear Django Freeman have sex?

*The D is silent*

5 people are in a plane that is about to crash.

The five people are:
-Morgan Freeman
-Larry Page
-The Pope
-A schoolboy

There are only 4 parachutes.

Morgan freeman says that he is an entertainer of millions, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Larry Page says that he founded Google, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

Trump says that he is the smartest man in America, and jumps out of the plane with a parachute.

There are only two people left, and one parachute. The Pope says "I have lived a long and happy life, you can take the parachute" to the schoolboy.

The schoolboy replies "no, it's OK, we can both go, the smartest man in America took my backpack!"

What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war?


Morgan Freeman has been accused of sexual abuse.

He can't play God anymore. Just a priest.

Morgan was once a slave... he's a Freeman.

What's the opposite of Martin Shkreli?

Martin Freeman.

I heard that if a girl is attracted to you she speaks in a higher pitched voice...

I was wondering why every girl I know sounds like Morgan Freeman

Brad Pitt visits his doctor. "Hey Doc, you ever see me in that movie Seven with Morgurt Freeman?"

"Uh do you mean Morgan?"

"Oh yeah, sorry Doc. Morgurt Morgan".

I want Morgan Freeman to narrate a highlight reel of my life...

But I heard that silent movies don't do too well in today's market.

Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year!

(Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year.

Too bad about Morgan Freeman

Loved him in Half Life

What did Gordon Freeman experience when he turned 40?

A Half Life crisis.

What roles do Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman play in the new Black Panther movie?

They're the tolkien white guys of the film.

Half Life 3 was going to be released several years ago...

...But the voice actor for Gordon Freeman was supposed to announce it, and no-one can find him.

Internet Explorer is actually my favorite browser..

To download other browsers with

Abraham Lincoln, 1863

-Morgan Freeman

There's no way Morgan freeman was accused of sexual assault.

god wouldn't do that.

Morgan used to be a slave

but now he's a FREEMAN

How to make Freeman jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Freeman to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Freeman? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Freeman pick up lines to share with friends.

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