JokoJokes

Freedom Jokes

137 freedom jokes and hilarious freedom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about freedom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make this Freedom Day more memorable with jokes about freedom, democracy, and more. Laugh freely at these clever jokes about America, Indian freedom, freedom of information and more. Let freedom ring!

Funniest Freedom Short Jokes

Short freedom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The freedom humour may include short liberty jokes also.

  1. The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
  2. Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
  3. Dunno what this WiFi dude did But I've seen a ton of bars and restaurant demanding his freedom lately
  4. As an American looking at the situation in Afghanistan It's good to see that, even decades later, the freedom fighters we trained can still drive out a superpower.
  5. Well, OJ has been paroled. The spokesperson for the parole board that granted him his new freedom said they "decided to give him another stab at it."
  6. It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom... ... unless they're flashing behind you.
  7. They say red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they start flashing behind you.
  8. 15 Year Old Teenager: "I love the US! It's the land of freedom and opportunity! We even have freedom of speech!" CNN: "Hold my beer."
  9. It's funny how the colors Red, White, and Blue represent freedom. Until they're flashing behind your car
  10. As a Muslim, I really appreciate the Courts upholding religious freedom Seriously, Praise Be A Law

Share These Freedom Jokes With Friends




Freedom One Liners

Which freedom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with freedom? I can suggest the ones about independence and free love.

  1. What does the "F" in Hong Kong stand for ? Freedom
  2. How much does freedom weigh? A WashingTon.
  3. The F in China stands for freedom Friend: There isn't a F in China
    Me: Exactly
  4. Red, White and Blue represent freedom until you see them flashing behind your car.
  5. Gyms must remain open... ...the constitution guarantees freedom of the press
  6. Why doesn't America knock? Because Freedom Rings. Happy Independence Day!
  7. It's funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom Until they're flashing behind you
  8. Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America? 'cause Freedom rings
  9. China has freedom of speech But freedom after speech is not guaranteed
  10. Why don't Americans tell knock knock jokes? Because freedom always rings
  11. The only things Americans exercise Is their freedom of speech
  12. How come there aren't any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings.
  13. Teacher: Class what comes after a sentence? Jamal: FREEDOM!
  14. Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings
  15. How do you take away an Italian's freedom of speech? Handcuff them

Freedom Speech Jokes

Here is a list of funny freedom speech jokes and even better freedom speech puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution. Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.
  • In North Korea, you actually do get freedom of speech. Just not freedom *after* your speech.
  • I vacationed to an island for the deaf The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
  • Free Speech Dude:I believe in freedom of speech
    Bro:So does everyone else you idiot.You don't get brownie points for believing in a basic right
    Dude:Hey you can't say that!
  • In China we guarantee our citizens the freedom of speech But we do not guarantee their personal safety after their speech.
  • Shouting, "You're all pathetic idiots!" to freedom of speech protesters... Soon changes their tone.
  • comrade, what is difference between constitution of Russian motherland and the Finland? Both constitutions guarantee freedom of speech, but only in finland do you get freedom after speech.
  • School is like a dystopia You aren't allowed to think outside the box, you don't have the freedom of speech, and you can't gamble or have strippers come to your lunch room.
  • Why did the founding father's make freedom of speech the first amendment? they were trying to make a statement.
  • Say what you will about freedom of speech

Freedom Rings Jokes

Here is a list of funny freedom rings jokes and even better freedom rings puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Happy 4th! Why are there no knock-knock jokes about 'Murica? ~~because freedom rings~~ because we have no-knock warrants as our pun-ishment of choice.
  • As a true American Patriot I always put phone numbers I want to ignore under the contact "Freedom" Because I always let Freedom Ring.
  • Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes? Why aren't there any independence day knock knock jokes?
    Cuz freedom \*rings\*
  • Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings!
    Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans!
  • Why doesn't America knock? Because freedom rings!
    Happy 4th of July!
  • Americans don't knock on doors Because freedom rings
  • What should you do when freedom calls? Let it ring.
  • My grandfather always lets his phone, dubbed freedom, go to voicemail He lets freedom ring
  • Q: Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
    A: Because freedom rings!
  • Q: Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
    A: Because freedom rings!
Freedom joke

Freedom Fighter Jokes

Here is a list of funny freedom fighter jokes and even better freedom fighter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Well if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire ... .....what do freedom fighters fight?
  • Did you hear about the chickpea freedom fighters? They call themselves Hummas.
  • I find this a little confusing... If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, what a freedom fighters fighting?
  • Whats the difference between a t**... and a freedom fighter? Well mostly, it depends on who's reporting the news.
  • A reporter asks a s**... "what did you feel when you shoot those Taliban freedom fighters?" He replied "recoil"

Freedom Of Information Jokes

Here is a list of funny freedom of information jokes and even better freedom of information puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many incompetent FBI freedom of information agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [spoiler](/s"one")
Freedom joke, How many incompetent FBI freedom of information agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Great Freedom Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about freedom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean democracy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make freedom pranks.

Freedom Tower

Apparently they're having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they've opened it up to big chain department stores...
Just what America needs — another Target.

I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday.

I had to liberate the toilet for hours.

What every guy wants in a relationship is like underwear.

They want a lots of support but a bit of freedom.

My girlfriend said I didn't respect her freedom enough

So I told her to stop rattling in her cage

Jokes told by my tour guide while rafting.

* Why doesn't anyone tell knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
* What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
* What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
* What do you call a cow with 1 leg?
A steak.

Slightly changed old soviet joke

American: -There is no freedom of speech in Russia. In America, you can go out on the street and yell out 'Obama is an a**...', and you won't get arrested. Russian responds: -Of course Russia has freedom of speeech, anyone can go out on the Moscow street and yell out 'Obama is an a**...'.

What is the difference between a miscarriage and a miscarriage of justice?

One takes away your freedom, the other gives you it back.

Three burglars break into a building and are confronted by a soldier, a cop, and a politician.

The politician tells the soldier to kill Burglar #1, and the two stab each other to death.
The politician then tells the cop to arrest Burglar #2, and the two beat each other unconscious.
The politician then walks up to Burglar #3 and says "I just saved your life, your freedom, and tripled your share of the loot. I think 20% is a fair cut."

In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom.

Unless they see it in their rear view mirror.

Wife or Girlfriend

A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment." The mathematician: "A wife. You have security." The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."

Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, just like in the USA?

Yes. In the USA you can stand in front of the White House and shout "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished. Equally, you can stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell "Down with Reagan!", and you will still not be punished.
(Alternate punchline:
Yes, but the USA also permits freedom after speech.)

What's the difference between a monkey flinging p**... at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?

Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

I take the bus to school

So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.

This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.

What's the first amendment in Super Mario's constitution?

Freedom of Peach

If the Bald Eagle is the symbol of freedom and the Dove is the symbol of peace, what bird is the symbol of love?

The s**....

Old USSR joke about free speech

In America you have freedom of speech. You can stand in front of the White House and say: "Reagan s**...."
In Soviet Russia, you also have freedom of speech. You can stand in front of the Kremlin and say: "Reagan s**...."

America is the land of freedom

I mean, it was until 1600.

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is they all say, "Don't do it! You will lose all your freedom! Make the responsible choice." But after it happens they say "We're disappointed but we can make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

Whoops, I accidentally autocorrected "Trumps' Presidency" to "teen pregnancy"

I find it ironic that the colours red white and blue stand for freedom

Until they're flashing behind you

Old Cold War joke

A Russian and an American are talking about their countries. The American said, " we have the most freedom in the world, I can march into the White House bang on the president's desk and say sir I do not like how this country is being run." The Russian replied," I can do that too, I can march into the Kremlin, go up to our leaders desk and say sir I do not like how the US government is being run."

What happened to the statistician who was arrested?

He now has zero degrees of freedom.

An American boasts to a Soviet about the freedom of speech he has.

He says, "I can literally walk up to the oval office and say, 'President Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country' and I won't get into any problem at all!"
The Soviet replies, "I can do the exact same, too. I too can literally walk up to the Red Square and say, 'Comrade Brezhnev, I don't like the way President Reagan is running this country' and not get into any problem!"

An American and a Russian were discussing their respective freedoms in the 1980's

American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".
Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".

What does "f" in "North Korea" stand for?

Freedom

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an a**...!'"
The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an a**...!'"

There was freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, just like in USA

You can stand in front of the White House and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.
Equally, you can also stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.

Emmanuel Macron meets Putin and tells him...

"You lack freedom in Russia. In Paris, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them."
Putin gives him a basilisk stare and slowly says:
"In Moscow, anyone can walk in the street and shout 'Macron is an idiot!', and nobody will touch them, either."

Freedom isn't free.

It costs 1/3 of your salary.

An American and a German are discussing freedom of speech.

The German says:
>Here in Germany, contrary to what a lot of you Americans think, we do have freedom of speech. Everyone here hates Putin, but I could walk right up to the Bundestag and proclaim: "I love Vladimir Putin!" And I wouldn't even be arrested!
The American replies:
>Ah, yes, but in the USA we're even freer. I could walk right up to the White House and shout "I love Vladimir Putin"... and they'd let me in!

Did you hear what that mathematician thought after graduating?

They were given another degree of freedom.

If eagles are the birds of American freedom, then what is the bird of American love?

A s**...

I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality...

Turns out it stands for United States of America
ALTERNATE JOKE:
I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality...
Turns out that was my imagine nation

America is truly the greatest country. It has freedom...

for cops and politicians from prosecution

What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?

LiberTEA
(Im not sorry)

So I live next to a prison...

One morning I awoke to the sight of a little person breaking out of said prison, hastily climbing down the fence to freedom.
Sipping my coffee I thought to myself "*Well that's a little condescending".*

The date of a prisoner's freedom should be called a period

because it's the end of their sentence.

Overhead in a country ruled by a dictator

Citizen: What happened to freedom of speech in this country?
Dictator: Freedom of speech has always been guaranteed in this country. It is freedom after speech which we can't guarantee

What are two things that you can see in the photo op at St John's church?

One is a glorified tool that is no longer relevant, but still widely used by radical christians to persecute homosexuals, degrade women, prohibit freedom, and rationalize war on non-believers.
The other is the bible.

Where is the freedom of a s**... whose hobby is making necklaces?

Independence.

An American explains to a Russian...

that the United States has freedom of the press, and their journalists won't get pushed out of windows, for example, if they write an article that says Donald Trump is a liar.
The Russian says that this is nonsense, because journalists in Russia can easily write an article without fear of retribution that says Donald Trump is a liar.

Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.

The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!

A classic Russian joke...

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:
The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.
The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.
The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of v**... and the two fellas back!"

Red white and blue stand for freedom

Right up until you see them flashing in your rear view mirror

An american soldier was talking to a soviet soldier.

The american says, "the great thing about America is that we have freedom of speech! For instance, I can go right into the white house, walk up to president Reagan and say, "Mr. President, I completely disagree with the way you are running this country!" The soviet soldier responds, "so what? I can do that too!" The american soldier is baffled! He says, "really you can?"
"Sure! I can go right into the Kremlin, right up to the general secretary and say, "Mr. Gorbachev, I completely disagree with the way President Reagan is running his country!"

Did you know

The f in North Korea stands for Freedom

The American and the Russian

Originally told by U.S. President Reagan in one of his speeches:
>An American and a Russian(before the fall of the Soviet Union) were bragging to one another.
>
>
>American: We have a lot of freedom of speech. We can just go to the White House, barge in the President's office and say: "Mr President, I don't like the way you are running this country!"
>
>
>Russian: That's nothing - we can also go to the Kremlin, barge in Gorbachev's office and say: "Mr General Secretary, I don't like the way President Reagan is running his country!"

The old, evil, bald king had three sons.

The youngest one shared his traits but the two older sons were not of an evil nature. In order to make sure the youngest one succeeded him, the king captured a fairy and promised it freedom in exchange for a wish.
"I wish for my youngest son to be my heir" said the king.
The son disappeared and the king was no longer bald.

Freedom joke, The old, evil, bald king had three sons.

jokes about freedom