Free Stuff Jokes
19 free stuff jokes and hilarious free stuff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about free stuff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Free Stuff Short Jokes
Short free stuff jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The free stuff humour may include short free beer jokes also.
- Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore. There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- What do you call an adult male who believes that a man with a white beard hands out stuff for free? A communist
- Black monday is way better then black friday, look at the deals these people in Ferguson are getting. Stuff is free!!
- Nut allergic people can't get anything for free Because the stuff they buy must be nut free
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Free Stuff One Liners
Which free stuff one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with free stuff? I can suggest the ones about free deliveries and free love.
- Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
- People say the best stuff in life are free But those people have clearly never had s**...
Free Stuff Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about free stuff you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean free fire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make free stuff pranks.
I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals
My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."
Nobody rewarded me :(
I see people in the subreddit of ''GetMotivated'' writting stuff like ''I am a month free from alcohol'' or ''I am 3 months away from gambling'' and they get awards for doing that. Well I wrote there ''I am 3 months away from studying''. Nobody rewarded me. Thank you people of reddit!
A man gets circumcised...
After his surgery, he asks the surgeon, "How much should I pay you?"
The surgeon replies, "Oh, you don't need to pay me anything, I do this sort of stuff for free."
The man, confused, then asks, "How do you make a living?"
The surgeon says, "I just collect the tips."
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.
Free ride
Tourist to Taxi driver: "How much is it to the airport?"
Taxi driver: "That's five pounds twenty."
Tourist: "And how much is it for the luggage?"
Taxi driver: "The luggage, of course, is free."
Tourist: "All right, just take that stuff along. I'm walking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the similarity between a psychologist and a p**...?
They both take your money for stuff a good friend would do for free, however they are better at it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends garage
I was speaking to my friend the other day about the fact he leaves his garage full of stuff completely open all the time and if he was worried about anything getting stolen.
I said to him, "You either have a massive pair of b**..., or nothing worth stealing"
He ranted about how safe his neighbourhood is and what not, anyway, in other news, I got a desk, some tins of paint and a pinball machine all for free today.
Free stuff
A man bought a brand new TV and didn't need his old CRV one. He put the good old one in his yard with a sign "free - still working". It stood there for a month and no one took it.
Then he changed the sign which wrote "50$". It was stolen the next day.
A man is going fishing one day.
After awhile, he ran out of worms to use as bait. He noticed a cottonmouth with a frog hanging out of its mouth. Knowing frogs make good bait, he caught the snake. He picked it up by the back of the head since it couldn't bite him with a frog in its mouth. The man removes the frog and thinks "how do I let the snake go without being bit?". So, with his free hand, he reaches into his box and pulls out his bottle of Jack Daniels and pours some in the snake's mouth. The snake goes limp and the man is able to release it without getting bit. Hours later, he's done fishing and packing stuff up when he feels something on his foot. He looks down and it's the same snake, with two more frogs.
Bartender joke
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartenders and asks for a drink. The bartender gives him a shot of the best scotch in the house, the man says he can't afford it but the bartender says it's on the house. After three more of these free shots the guy asks the bartender why he is giving everybody free shots of his best stuff. He replies I just found out my wife cheated on me. The man not sure what that has to do with this asks him what one has to do with the other. To which he replies the guy is the owner of the bar.
End of the world
Scientists predict the end of the world, they say that there will be a huge tsunami on earth in 2 weeks. So presidents of all nations are now on tv to speak about it. It starts with Barrack Obama: " My fellow americans, you have now 15 days to spend all of your dollars, so just buy some stuff and enjoy while you can". Vladimir Poutine: "Mother Russia will be devastated in 2 weeks, and there will be nowhere else to live so i decided that you are now all free to speak and express yourself, enjoy it ". Then in Israël, Bibi starts: "We have 15 days to figure out how we're gonna live under water..."