Free Range Jokes
20 free range jokes and hilarious free range puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about free range that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Free Range Short Jokes
Short free range jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The free range humour may include short free love jokes also.
- My cousin told me his gun club didn't cost any money. I asked him if it was run by wild chickens.
He said, "No, why?"
And I said, "Because that would explain why it's a free range."
Share These Free Range Jokes With Friends
Free Range One Liners
Which free range one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with free range? I can suggest the ones about free fire and off the leash.
- Do cannibals refer to... Homeless people as Free Range ?
- I'm not sure these are really 'free range' eggs. They just sit there in the box mostly.
- I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range.
- Why are there no free-range chickens named Nicolas? Because they're cage-free.
- I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better.
Free Range Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about free range you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roaming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make free range pranks.
They banned talking on mobile phones while driving in Germany
With the new law, a man went to an electronics shop looking for something that would help him to answer his calls, but still keep his focus on driving. The store employee offered to have his brother Hansel ride with him and put the phone up to his ear when it rang.
The man said "No, that won't work. Do you have a Hans-free device?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A free range child is a sign of a good mother.
Unless she's a cannibal, which makes it a sign of a good farmer.
I was invited to a dinner the other night.
The host warned me ahead of time, "Just so you know, we only serve vegetarian dishes. I hope you're alright with that."
I told him, "Of course! I have no problem with vegetarian dishes. In fact, I prefer them. But for the sake of conscience I do prefer it if the vegetarians were free range and locally sourced."
A Woman sends her husband - a software developer - out for groceries.
She says to him: "We don't need a lot. Please get us a loaf of bread; and if they have free-range eggs please bring six."
The husband returns with nothing but six loaves of bread: "They had free-range eggs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The World's Most Politically Correct Joke
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE
A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a m**..., a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.
Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear that if you put Free Range animals in a pen, they m**... each other?
They become deranged.
So there's my friend Pete...
So, I have a friend named Pete, who is a bit of a hippy. He's got plenty of "causes," but he's particularly into animal rights--it's kind of annoying sometimes, but whatever.
As it so happens, he's also into Mediterranean food--all vegan, organic, and locally-sourced, of course. So when his usual store ran out of his brand of bread, it was kind of a big deal. He ended up dragging me all over town, all afternoon looking for some grass-fed, free-range ethnic bread.
It just all turned into PETA Pete's pita PITA.
The latest thing in the world of chickens.
A guy is driving down a country road when suddenly a chicken darts into the road ahead of him. He swerves to miss it but is pretty sure he hit it. When he looks in the rearview mirror, though, he doesn't see the chicken. When he looks back forward, he sees that the chicken is running ahead of the car! Since he's doing about 40 mph, this astounds him. He decides to follow the chicken.
Down the road a bit, the chicken turns down a dirt lane and then runs into a barn yard, where a farmer is scattering feed to hundreds of free-range chickens. He then notices that all of the chickens have four legs! Incredulous, he asks the farmer what the deal is with the four-legged chickens.
"Well," the farmer replied, "I noticed that people really like their drumsticks and there are never enough to satisfy everyone who wants one at the dinner table. So I spent years breeding a four-legged chicken so that everyone who wants a drumstick could have one."
"That's brilliant!" said the man. "What do they taste like?"
"Don't know." answered the farmer. "Never been able to catch one."
One fine day, in the middle of the night...
*This is a humours verse I've known since I was a kid. I don't know where it came from, and my googling has failed me. If anyone else knows the origin, that would be great!*
One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead men, got up to fight,
One lame man, rang up to call an ambulance,
The ambulance came, with two dead horses pulling it,
They ran over a dead cat, and nearly killed it,
Now the cat's in hospital, with nothing wrong with it.
Admission is free, pay at the door,
We'll give you the best seat, so sit on the floor.