Laughter Free Beer Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
A Man Walks Into A Bar.....(Read this one aloud)
A man is working his job as a bartender one night. A man comes into the bar and sits down near him. He pulls a tiny piano and a 12 inch man out of his shirt, and begins to listen as the little man plays piano. The bartender says, "That's amazing! Where did you meet this guy?" The man responds, "Oh, a genie gave him to me. He's down the street right now, giving out free wishes".So the bartender took his break, and went down the street to meet the genie. The man found a person sitting on the street and asked if he was the genie. "Yeah" said the genie. The bartender immediately said "I wish for a million bucks!" Suddenly, a huge flock of ducks flew out of the sky and began attacking him. He ran back to the bar, where the other man was drinking his beer. "That genie s**...! I wished for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks!" The man looked at the bartender and said "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub
Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub with cold beers and all are relaxed.
Aussie says "Great, but back home there is a bar where the barman buys you your 5th beer once you've bought your fourth"
Well, says the Englishman, "back in Manchester my local has a buy 2 and get one for free policy".
Aah! says the Irishman, "in Dublin there's a bar where you get free drinks as soon as you walk in and they keep them coming all evening.Then they take you upstairs and you get non stop s**... all night".
"What, youve actually experienced this yourself"? asks the Aussie.
Well "no" says the Irishman "but me sister has"!
A neutron walks into a bar...
He says to the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
Ther bartender replies, "For you, free of charge!"
Multi-level Meta Joke
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a multi-level meta joke." So the guy says "A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says "A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a good joke." So the guy says "What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park, man." So the bartender gives him a free beer." So the bartender gives him a free beer." So the bartender gives him a free beer.
What does alcohol free beer taste like?
Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
A man walks into a bar
He notices some pieces of meat hanging down from the ceiling. He goes up to the bartender and asks "What's with the meat on the ceiling?"
Bartender:"It's a challenge. If you can jump up and touch one, you get free beer for a night."
Man:"Nah, pass".
Bartender: "What? Why not?"
Man:"The steaks are too high"
New drinking game:
Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, c**... someone else's beer.
Did you hear about the new Bernie Sanders drinking game?
Every time he mentions a new free government program you drink someone else's beer.
I'm a bartender. Ladies always ask me if the sleep with me if they can get free beer. It's always sad that I have to tell them no
But it's worth a shot
A German and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
After buying the German a beer, the Frenchman asks where his is from.
"Auschwitz," the German replies.
"Is it weird living there, especially with its history?" The Frenchman asks.
"Yes, but the services are incredible."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Cheap gas and free showers."
You can explore free beer footloose reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean free beer frees dad jokes. There are also free beer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy walks into a bar.
While walking in, he notices a glass of beer on the roof. Not paying much attention to it, he goes up to the bartender and says:
"So I read on the sign post outside that the first drink is free."
To which the bartender replies: "Yeah, first one's on the house."
A neutron went into a bar and ordered a beer,
The bartender upon seeing him said "this one is free of charge".
Drinking alcohol free beer is the same as going down on your sister
It tastes the same, but feels wrong
Bringing a girlfriend to New York
Bringing a girlfriend to New York is like bringing a warm beer to a bar that serves free cold beers.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar £100. Do you want to have a go?"
The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, "Nah, the steaks are too high!"
Win some beer...
So a guy came into a bar and saw these small stripes at the very end of the table. He asked the bartender what for they were used.
The bartender replied "the men that just left measured their d!cks, the one with the longest got a free beer."
The guy said he could do better, so he went to the side with the stripes, put his d!c**... on the table and screamed "I won, free beer for me!"
On what the bartender replied: "They were playing from the other side of the table."
Alcohol Free Beer
Is a lot like going down on your sister.
It tastes the same but it's just plain wrong.
Germany decides that if they win the cup they would give out free beer for a year. Japan decides that if they win they would give out free sushi for a year.
Let's go Colombiaaaaaa!!!
Drinking alcohol-free beer..
..is like giving o**... s**... to your sister. The taste is the same, but deep inside, you know that something is terribly wrong.
"Beer Runner" goes free after being arrested for stealing 23 beers...
The DA didn't have a case
A bartender walks into a bar
demonstrating the danger of free beer.
I'm highly skeptical over the existence of "alcohol-free beer"...
There's literally zero proof.
Heineken free beer joke
I just pulled in a quick trip today and this guy says to me. "Hey, do you want a free twelve pack of Heineken?"
Me "Yeah, sure I will take it."
He says "Come over here. You can have a twelve-pack of Heineken if you let me touch your d**...."
I was "Touch my d**...?! What do you mean?"
He answered, "I want to hold it, grab it, pad it..."
After this, I said "Dude, total f**... out there" while drinking my Heineken.
A man walks into a bar...
There's only him, the barman and a guy about a foot high playing the piano.
'What you want to drink?' Asks the barman.
' any recommendations?' replies the guy.
' we have genie beer, you get a free wish when you open the bottle'
So the guy gets one, opens the bottle and asks for a million bucks.
Immediately a million ducks appear
' w**..., I wished for a million bucks!' the customer moans.
' tell me about it' says the barman ' you think I wanted a 12 pianist'.
A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.
The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the h**... did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!
The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them
I can't refuse a free drink
My friend goes to get a beer from his fridge and asks me if I'd like one
Me - "sure! I can't refuse a free drink, it's against my religion"
Friend - "what religion is that?"
Me - "Alcoholism"
President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.
Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.
The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.
Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. "We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all"
The Irish President replied: "Well, if you guys aren't giving out beer, then neither am I."
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
The golfer
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. As the night progresses, he finds himself with a very attractive woman and they hit it off immediately. He asks her out on a date. "But, before you say yes, I must warn you. I am an amateur golfer. Golfing is my life. Every free moment I'm out golfing. I read about golf, watch golf on TV, talk about golf. My exes all broke up with me because of my obsession with golf," he says. "Well, if you're going to be that honest, than so will I," she says. "I'm actually a h**...." "Oh my God!" the guy exclaims. "Me too!"
A neutron enters a bar
Neutron: "How much for a beer"
Bartender: "Oh it's free. No charge for you."
