Freak Jokes

116 freak jokes and hilarious freak puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about freak that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh! This article has a collection of funny jokes about control freaks, insane people, and maniacs. These jokes are sure to bring a smile to your day.

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Funniest Freak Short Jokes

Short freak jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The freak humour may include short geek jokes also.

  1. My teacher didn't believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank. She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.
  2. In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him
  3. In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo. All the other paintball players started freaking out though.
  4. "Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..." "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
  5. I can't believe how everybody's freaking out over that guy stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium. He was clearly just taking a political stand.
  6. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  7. I went to a gender reveal party last week. Everyone freaked out when I pulled down my pants.
  8. Placing three armed veterans in each school will stop school shootings The shooter will see people with three arms and freak out.
  9. Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. It's only when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out.
  10. I just found out that my friend broke all his fingers in a freak accident. I can't even imagine how he feels.

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Freak One Liners

Which freak one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with freak? I can suggest the ones about crazy and bizarre.

  1. My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'(
  2. My Mexican friend was freaking out, but I couldn't understand his panic.
  3. My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. He will be mist.
  4. Women are like newspaper articles... They have a new issue every freaking day
  5. Cat puns freak meowt... ...I'm not kitten.
  6. What's the best way to freak out your gynecologist? Become a ventriloquist
  7. What did the cat say when he got scared? You're freaking meowt!
  8. Why was the snowman freaking out? He was having a meltdown.
  9. Why did the twenty year old anti-vaxxer freak out? She was having a midlife crisis
  10. Cat puns really freak meowt I am not Kitten.
  11. What does a coke freak and a plumber have in common? They both love to catch a drain.
  12. Knock knock Who's there
    Control freak..... Now you say control freak who
  13. What's the one rule about fighting circus freaks? Always go for the juggler.
  14. What do you need to perform a fair test in a mental asylum? A control freak.
  15. They had to close the circus There was a freak accident

Control Freak Jokes

Here is a list of funny control freak jokes and even better control freak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A control freak has 5 kids, how many of them does it take to change a light bulb? There's no point in trying, none of them can change anything.
  • Knock Knock Q: Who's there?
    A: Control Freak.
    Q: Con...
    A: Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?"
  • Knock knock. Who's there? Control freak. Right as they start to say "control freak who?" You quickly cut them off and say "next you're supposed to say control freak who!"
  • Knock knock Who's there?
    A control freak
    Okay, now you say control freak who?
  • control freak me: knock knock
    you: whos there?
    me: control this is the part where you say "control freak who?"
  • My wife freaked out when I opened the door for her She was screaming that I was losing control of the car
  • I'm not a control freak. But let me show you the right way to do that.
  • I hate control freaks. They never listen to me.
  • What's a control freaks favorite macro? Control+U
Freak joke, What's a control freaks favorite macro?

Laughable Freak Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about freak you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fright jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make freak pranks.

A priest is painting the outside of his church...

He realizes he won't have enough paint to complete the job unless he adds water, which he does. When he finishes, a freak rainstorm pops up and his handiwork is lost as all the paint is washed off. From the clouds, a voice calls out:
"Repaint, and thin no more."

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds.

I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, "Whoa! I'm way too high!"
-Bruce Baum

What do women and grammar n**... have in common?

One missed period is enough to freak them out.

Shopping for my fiancé

I was shopping for my fiancé the other day, wanted to pick her out something just right, so I asked the sales lady if she could try it on since she is about the same size as my fiancé and would like to see how it looked and fit. She called me a freak and told me to get out of the store. Apparently that's not how you shop for tampons

So I went to the bar with my wife and...

people were calling me "freak" and "p**..." because I'm 29 and she's 18.
Really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Everyone is freaking out about all these glasses that glow under a backlight...

... But my sheets have been glowing under backlights since I was 14

You ever seen a really beautiful woman that you wanna go talk to?

But then you think she's gonna freak out when you walk out of her closet?

What freaks out both girls and programmers?

A missed period.
And heaven help us if the programmer happens to be a girl.

Cat puns freak meowt

Being single is a lot like being a spider...

Women always scream and freak out when they see me, I guess I should introduce myself before I get my web stuck in their hair.

In Light Of China's Announced One-Child Policy Removal.

Get Yo' Freak On China. #NationalSexDay

My cousin was hospitalized for 3 months after a freak accident at a spaghetti factory..

Unfortunately, he pasta way

I found my first grey p**... hair today.

However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.

What's the difference between an apple and a baby?

People didn't freak out for no reason when I started eating an apple in public.

The Bearded Lady just rear-ended some Siamese Twins.

It was a freak accident.

I was gonna make a joke about my dog being a freak on a leash...

But it was too korny

I freaked out my mailman today

I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely n**.... I'm not sure what shocked him more, my n**... body, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

I was walking behind a girl late at night

I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
clean my nose,
and pass out
I'm not a smart man

What did Paul Bunyan say to his big blue ox?


My keyboard is such a freak

I fingered the shift key 5 times and gave it sticky keys.

2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds

What a waste of thyme!

I make conversation like I play chess....

Plan 3 moves ahead then freak out when the other person doesn't do what I planned for.

Not sure why everyone is freaking out that Trump has his Finger on the Nuclear Button...

By his own admission; this isn't the first time his hands have been somewhere they shouldn't

Warnings about motorcycles

Every time people find out I drive a motorcycle they always freak out and tell me about sometime someone they know got in an accident.
I don't get it.
I don't go around telling pregnant women that my dad left

Total Eclipses freak people out because it creates opposites of our expectations...

...Day becomes night. White becomes Black. And the midwest becomes a travel destination

Did you hear about the poor waitress who lost her leg in a freak accident?

Now she's working at IHOP.

I freaked out when I saw the clown from IT at my local thrift shop

But then I remembered he was Pennywise

What is a freaky lesbian's favorite game?


My son called me saying he's in the hospital

"Mom, please don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Son, you're a doctor and you've been doing this joke for the past 5 years."

My wife wears my shirts around the house and I never freak out...

Wear one of her dresses once and it's the end of our marriage.

A plane loses power at 22,000ft, and all the passengers start to freak out. A woman yells "I can't die like this, will no man here come and make me feel like a woman?"

A man gets off his seat, rips off his shirt and says "Here
Iron this"

If I found out that my son was gay, I would freak out.

Why do I have a son?

How to freak her out

I love walking up to women I barely know, hug them and sniff loudly followed by me saying, "You smell so much better when you are awake."

Do you ever see a beautiful woman and think to yourself you have to go say something?

Then you realize its a bad idea because she's probably going to freak out when you walk out of her closet?

According the United States National Tourism Office Wal Mart is the greatest place you can take your family

to see the kind of people you used to have to pay admission to see in a freak show.

What is 5 inches long , goes in and out your mouth but only the top goes in ??

A toothbrush you freak !!

A girl walks in on his parents doin' it...

The parents freak out and try to cover themselves.
The girl asks, Mommy, what are you guys doing?
The mom says, Your dad and I are making cakes.
The girl shrugs and goes back to her room.
*a week later
The girl asks her mom, Mommy, were you and daddy making cakes again in the living room?
The mother replies Yes we were.
The girl says. Oh cool because I just licked the frosting off the couch.

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can't see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the boxer asks why they stopped. His partner says: we stopped because you messed up the punch line.

What made the astrology woman such a freak?

She let Gemini both have a go with her.

What's the best pickup line at Whole Foods?

"I like a lady in the streets, and a freak in the organic, h**...-infused sheets."

Really freaked out for a bit, my computer was giving me personalised Jesus quotes.

Turns out I had it set to depeche mode.

I don't know why she freaked out after I gave her a gift on our second date.

I really spent a lot of money on that diamond ring.

I was walking past the graveyard late at night

and a couple of girls said to me "Is it all right if we walk with you? Walking through here at this time of night really freaks us out!"
I said, "Sure, I'm fine with that. It used to freak me out too, back when I was alive."
And you never saw anyone run so fast.

Everyone knows you synthesize vitamin D from UV rays and that's fine...

So how come whenever I say, "I love getting the D from my sun," people always freak out?

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

How to be a super hero

DC: be an orphan or raised by an orphan
Marvel: get in a freak accident

Daughter: Can I lick the bowl, Mommy?

Mother: No you little freak, get back in there and flush like everyone else.

I freaked out the electrician by opening the door n**....

I couldn't tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was n**..., or that I got into his house.

I had a friend who was bored out of his mind at work.

No ones really quite sure how the freak drill-press accident happened.

When you have s**..., God is watching...

What a freak.

Last week I found out my cousin was into underage girls.

I reported him to the feds, but when they arrived on the scene they wouldn't do a thing. They let the freak run free.
Oh well, at least he didn't enjoy his tenth birthday party.

A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

What do you call a shellfish that is really into b**...?

A mussel bound freak.

Women always say they want a gift that comes from the heart...

But if you give them blood they freak out.

Heights Of Insult By A Grammar Freak Girl.

Girl To Boy: "You Are As Useless As Ay In Okay"

So everyone is freaking out that Kanye West wants to run for President ...

Everyone just needs to take it Yeezy!

At 3'o'clock in the morning, a wife hears her husband stumble in through the door,

She goes down stairs and sees him standing in the doorway drunk.
she says Have you been drinking?
the husband laughed and said No honey, I drove home.
The wife's face drops and she begins to panic.
The husband then starts to freak out and says What's wrong?!
The wife looks at him and angrily says
You can't drive and neither of us own a car.

I freaked out when my girlfriend was about to look through my phone

I didn't want her to see my Reddit account, so I just told her I was cheating on her

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.
Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it.

He said, Probably, but I wouldn't count on it.

My wife is a compulsive plant freak. She's filled our house with all manner of potted plants that she picks up at yard sales and give aways!

I think she's a hoarder-culturist.

Two guys who just met at a training class are driving through the city looking for a place to have lunch.

The guy driving is running every red light. The other guy is starting to freak out and says, "Dude?! What the h**... are you doing going through those red lights??" The guy driving says, "Its okay, my brother in law does it all the time." The passenger says, "Well its not okay with me, let me out up here!" They drive a little further up the road and the driver stops at a green light. The passenger says, "Why are you stopped? The light is green." The driver says, "My brother in law might be coming through."

I had no freaking idea!

I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 years, and I had no idea that he was a mechanic!

Freak joke, I had no freaking idea!

jokes about freak