Francis Jokes
53 francis jokes and hilarious francis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about francis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article features funny jokes from Fr. Francis Stewart designed to bring joy to everyone. Read the full article to enjoy the witty one-liners from St. Francis, Charles, Bernadette, and Carrie. Share them with your friends for a good laugh!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Francis Short Jokes
Short francis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The francis humour may include short taffy jokes also.
- My girlfriend says I've got commitment issues.... Well she's not really my girlfriend, more of a wife.
-Stuart Francis - Did you hear about the candle that smells like a mixture of Francis, Benedict, and John Paul? They call it pope pourri
(I really am sorry) - Sister Mary Francis won the contest but I was runner-up... Technically, I'm second to nun.
- Since assuming the title in 2013, Pope Francis has visited more than 27 countries. I guess he really is a roamin' Catholic.
- Just got yet another email from the patron saint of copying people in I should never have given my email address to St Francis of a CC
- Pope Francis warns the public about the evils of Horoscope readings... Born: December 17, "Your ideas are abstract and don't always make reasonable sense."
What a Sagittarius thing to say... - Sir Francis Bacon Tomato is on life support.
*Sir Francis Bacon walks in*
"He's not gonna make it, is he?"
Doc: "He's basically a vegetable. Bacon, let us end tomato." - Did you hear that Fergie was actually singing an alternative version of the star-spangled banner? Written by Francis Scott Off-Key
- The meeting with Kim Davis isn't the only thing on his U.S. trip that Pope Francis wanted to keep secret... The engine in his fiat was a Volkswagen diesel.
- The first transgender person I ever met was my aunt She was like a father to me.
(Stewart Francis)
Share These Francis Jokes With Friends
Francis One Liners
Which francis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with francis? I can suggest the ones about altar and parish.
- Who the patron saint of surveillance? St Francis of a CCTV.
- St. Francis worked at Krispy Kreme He was a deep friar.
- I asked my dad where my brother Francis was He said Francis in Europe
- Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi.
- Who is the patron saint of 'reply all'? St. Francis of a CC
- Why did Princess Leia send a distress call to Francis? Because he was her only Pope.
- Who is the patron saint of copying people into emails? St. Francis of a CC
- Protesters pulled down a statue of Francis Scott Key last weekend Francis Got Keystered.
- They say saint Francis was a serious cat lover... Some may even agree he's a Catholic.
- Pope Francis stepped into a subzero He's a popesicle now
- Pope Francis has written an autobiography He titled it, "I, Papi"
- Sir Francis Bacon walks into a bard... "Sorry Bill."
- The 1996 film "Crack" was directed by whom? Francis Snort Cokealot
- In my family i'm the youngest of three. My parents are both older
-Stewart Francis - Pope Francis here. Ama Verefication: Don't have proof. Just have faith.
Cheeky Francis Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about francis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean john jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make francis pranks.
The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope.
Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says "Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."
Pope Francis says, "yes, of course."
Jim Perdue says "I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out daily chicken.' And instead of bread-based Eucharist, you could give chicken nuggets."
Pope Francis says, "sir, that is really not a feasible proposal."
Perdue says, "tell you what, I'll donate the $2 million no strings attached, but if you implement my proposal, I'll donate another $20 million."
The Pope merely thanks him and leaves the room.
The next day, at a meeting with his cardinals, the pope says, "Exalted cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church... we need to discuss the Wonderbread account."
Pope Benedict and Pope Francis are about to watch the World Cup Final...
Francis says, "sorry, but I spoke to Jesus last night and he said he'd do all he can to help Argentina win." Benedict says, "that's too bad, I spoke to Satan and he said he'd do everything he can to help Germany win." The game starts, and Francis says, "is that referee Italian?" Benedict says, "Yep. Hail Satan."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Was my French teacher into golden showers?
Oui.
Courtesy of Stewart Francis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"There are three kinds of s**......"
"There's homosexual s**..., for people who have s**... at home, bisexual, for people who buy s**..., and there's t**...—that's me, I'll try anything!"
A Catholic teenager goes to confession
A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is.
"I promised not to tell!" he says.
"Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the preist asks.
"No, and I said I wouldn't tell."
"Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?"
"No, and I still won't tell!"
'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?"
"No," says the boy.
'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months."
Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II...
... and she says : "Watch, Francis! With a wave of my hand, I can make every loyal subject go completely hysterical!" So she waves at the crowd and every loyal subject goes completely a**.... So Francis tells her : "Well, Elizabeth, with a wave of my hand, I can give every Scotsman and Irishman eternal joy!" And she replies : "I'd like to see that!" .... So he slaps her.
Francis Ford Coppola directed the film "Jack".
Francis Snort Cokealot directed the film "Crack".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jake went over to pick up his girlfriend to go on a date.
When he found her n**..., he asked why.
"Well, because I don't have any dresses to wear!"
"Sure you do," Jake replied, opening her closet. "Here's a blue one, a red one, a green one- oh, hi Francis- a yellow one..."
Vatican to elevate pope Francis to sainthood-report
Reports are emerging from the vatican that the current pope will be recommended for sainthood due to his compassion for his fellow man. When asked about the holy father's reaction, a vatican official said, 'In keeping with modern times, the pontiff would like to be the patron saint of email, St.Francis of a cc'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!
Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.
So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic
Imam :So tell me,what happens if a man visits church every Sunday and follows the word of Jesus
Father: He will go to heaven after he dies
Imam: What will he get there?
Father: He will forever be in the company of Father,Jesus,Holy Spirit,v**... Mary...
Imam: Thats the problem, Only One v**......
Francisco Nunez Olivera, the world's oldest man, died at his home in Spain – a month after celebrating his 113th birthday last Monday night...
I shall miss reading his jokes on here...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm going over to give a large donation to r**... victims...
... and I won't take no for an answer.
(Stewart Francis)
Cardinal Cicola (my late Uncles favorite joke)
Do you know about Cardinal Cicola? He is Pope Francis' right hand man. If one day, something happens to Pope Francis, Cardinal Cicola will become the new Pope.
His name will become Pope Cicola
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sunday School
Sister Mary Francis asked each of her young charges to tell the class what they want to do when they grow up.
Johnny says "I'm going to be a policeman." "Very good," say Sister Mary Francis.
Peter says "I'm going to be a fireman." "Very nice," says the nun.
Then Mary stands up, and says "I'm going to be a p**...!" Sister Mary Francis turned pale. The room fell silent. The Sister said sternly "What did you say, Mary??" Beligerantly, Mary stuck out her chin and again, in a clear voice, said "I'm going to be a p**...!!"
"Oh thank heavens," said the nun. I thought you said you were going to be a protestant!!"
Pope Francis died.
He goes up to heaven and knocks on the door. Holy Petrus asks him who he is and what he wants. ,,I am the pope and want to go to heaven! Don't you know me? Petrus says:,, No, i have to talk to my boss. Five minutes later comes Jesus and asks Francis the same. ,,I am the pope and want to go to heaven! You must know me! I was the leader of the holy catholic church! Jesus lets him in. Later Jesus tells Petrus:,,Remember the fishing club we founded 2000 years ago? It still exists!
TIL of Private First Class, Francis Lipton— an American soldier in the Revolutionary war– who invented a delicious new beverage while fighting at Valley Forge.
It was the first known casual tea of
War.
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
