France War Jokes
29 france war jokes and hilarious france war puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about france war that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest France War Short Jokes
Short france war jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The france war humour may include short french war jokes also.
- If France and Italy go to war, who would win? None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides.
- France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders
Italy changes sides
Both lose - TIL during World War Two, a cheese factory in France was bombed by the Germans. De brie was everywhere!
- Did you hear about the war between France and Italy? Italy switched sides and France surrendered
- France and Italy declare war... France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose.
- Breaking News: North Korea declares war on South Korea! Related Story: France surrenders to N. Korea!
- In every country of the world children play "war" Exept in France where they play "surrender"
- Hey guys have you read the novel "The War That France Won"? It's my favorite example of historical fiction.
- What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won? Tsar Napoleon.
Share These France War Jokes With Friends
France War One Liners
Which france war one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with france war? I can suggest the ones about germany france and france surrenders.
- North Korea threatens to start nuclear war France surrenders just in case
- Germany and France go to war. Who loses? belgium
- A decently funny war joke Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
Belgium - What's the most redundant thing during war? The red and blue in france's flag
- Going to war without France is like going to hunting without your accordion
- When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
France War Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about france war you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean french army jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make france war pranks.
An Aussie in the trenches
An Australian soldier is sent to the front lines in France during World War 1 and the gruff American general meets him saying alright private this is the roughest spot in Europe now. Did you come here to die?! The Aussie says Naw mate I came yes to die
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cold war joke.
There's a sale on p**... at the New York Macy's store
An American woman goes to the checkout with 7 p**....
Cashier:" Only 7? They're on sale this week.
The woman replies,"No Thanks,7 is all. One for every day of the week."
Next in line is a woman from France with 5 p**....
Cashier:"Only 5? They're on sale.
"Thank You,but no. I have one for each weekday and on weekends I'm a free spirit(wink wink)
Next in line a great big burly Russian woman with 12.
Cashier: Well 12,that's a nice even amount.
Russian. "Yes 12.....Jan,February,March,April........
There once was a famous fighter, anointed by the king in ancient france. After his death, all other knights swore to carry on his battle tactics, named after him in his honor, for all wars to come.
His name was Sir Render.
Why will Belgium go to war?
*This is a joke my dutch grandfather told me, the dutch make fun of Belgians*
Why will Belgium go to war with the Netherlands in 50 years?
Because that's when they understand the Belgian jokes they make about them.
Why will Belgium go to war with France in 50 years?
They can't find the Netherlands.
After Peter Jackson's successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.
Spoiler: France invades first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush', ‘d**...', and ‘Colon'. Need I say more?
If World War One were a bar fight.
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
On a dark and stormy night...
...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.
No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt against America. Michelangelo's David led the charge towards Italy.
As the war of human versus statue waged on, a group went into the United Kingdom, led by the Venus de Milo, intent on overthrowing the English government.
However, as the statues were ready to attack, the British generals noticed something. None of the statues had any weapons! No guns, knives, armor, anything.
After this realization, one British general turns to another, points at the leader of the statues and says,
"Don't worry; she's 'armless."