The Best 35 Frame Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Frame jokes. There are some frame portrait jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these frame mallet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Frame Jokes and Puns

Outside a PHOTO studio...

We can shoot your wife and also frame your mother-in-law .

On demand we can even nail and hang them.

Three Engineers

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.

The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"

The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"

The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."

A Million Dollars

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.

"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"

GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"

GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."

The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"

GOD said, "In a minute."

Frame joke, A Million Dollars

A Quickie!

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.

A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?"

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'Quiche'."

Rodeo Position

Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say's I miss my missus, but when we make love it's always the same . Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks how's that? We always use the old missionary position the old cowboy replies. Thinking about this the other cowboy says If you want some excitement you need to try the Rodeo position . The cowboy says What's that?
Well you start off doggie style, behind her. Then you lean forward and with your right hand grab her right breast, and with your left hand grab her left breast, with your face beside her head you whisper gently in her ear, Yep feels just like your sister , and then hold on for dear life.


A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...

He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.

The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.

I helped an old guy cross the road today

I carried his walking frame. Talk about ungrateful.

Frame joke, I helped an old guy cross the road today

Photographers are so violent.

They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.

This past Christmas I told my wife that all I wanted for Christmas was an Xbox.

That's it. Beginning and end of the list; Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of our wedding. That was fine, because I got her an Xbox.

What does an elderly composer use as a walking aide?

A Zimmer frame

Photographers are the worst!

They frame you, then shoot you, then hang you on the wall.

You can explore frame decorative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean frame photographer dad jokes. There are also frame puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

How many art students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to hang a frame around it, another to say how it reminds them of their dead mother.

Why are people with glasses terrible gamers?

Because they only see Through one frame per second

Why did the hastily constructed clock tower collapse?

There wasn't a big enough time frame.

Shoot the kids, hang the parents, frame grandpa...

I tried to tell Rob the slogan for his new photography business needed fixing but he wasn't having any of it.

Frame joke, Shoot the kids, hang the parents, frame grandpa...

Photographers are violent people.

First they frame you, then they shoot you, and then they hang you on a wall.

What do Breath of the Wild and an art store going out of business have in common?

The frame rates drop.

A bar walks into physicist..

Sorry wrong frame of reference.


Whats the best way to hang yourself?

In a picture frame

How many light bulbs does it take to chance a physicist?

Oh, sorry, wrong frame of reference

Gandhi's diagnosis

Now Gandhi hardly ate a thing, his frame was rather frail
But then he'd eat the strangest foods, his breath was often stale
And he walked around barefoot, so this was his diagnosis:

Super calloused fragile mystic hexxed by halitosis.

Why can't you trust an artist?

Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

I like my women like I like my frame rate..

Above 60.

Shoot the kids, hang the family...

And then frame them all

So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.

A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

I've been framed. I can explain.

This one is of me, not my twin brother.

Who did the Hamburglar frame for the theft of Fred Flintstone's Dino-Burger?

Rubble Rubble!

Q: Why did the window frame hurt?


A: It had window pains!

A bar walks into a man...

wait... sorry, wrong reference frame.

A bar walks into Albert Einstein.

Oops, wrong frame of reference.

Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.

They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.

Darling, I must away from this place he turned round for dramatic effect, then thundered. FOR I, AM THOR!

She replied YOU'RE thor? I can barely thtand!

A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start.

A man is praying to God and asks "God, how is it you created all this in 7 days?"

God replied, "well, you see time is different for you and me. A million years in human time is only a second in time for me. I created everything in 7 days my time, not yours, so the time frame is much greater than interpreted."

"Oh my God, that is ncredible!" the man exclaimed. "So what, like a penny to you is a million dollars for us?"

"Um, yeah, kinda. Something like that...." God says

"Well, in that case, can I just have a penny, God?" The man shoots his shot

"Sure" God agrees, much to the surprise of the man. "Just gimme a second to find it...."

A man made a motorcycle completely out of wood

It had a wooden engine, a wooden frame, wooden tires, wooden gas tank, everything was wood.

But did he ride it?

No, wooden start....

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the frame negligee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working frame wall piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes