fourth Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fourth puns

Man to therapist : "I just fucked my fourth cousin."

Therapist : "Is that a problem for you?"

Man : "The problem is that I'm counting."

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An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...


The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

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My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry"

"...but you can't count Missouri twice."

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If laziness was an Olympic sport.

I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

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My Favorite Math Joke

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.

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"Look at this!" I said to my roommate

"What happened?" he replied

"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said

"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"

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A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of...

...a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, very serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already."

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So, an infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter, the fourth orders an eighth, and the fifth orders a sixteenth. The sixth mathematician is about to speak up when the bartender interrupts him and puts two pints on the bar, saying "You guys don't know your limits."

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You're all a bunch of idiots."

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A little boy and an old man are sitting on a park bench...

...The little boy unwraps a candy bar and eats it. Then he eats a second one. And a third, fourth and fifth.

The old man, watching this, says "You shouldn't be eating so many candy bars. You will ruin your teeth and get fat."

The little boy responded, "My Grandfather lived to be 102 years old."

The old man replied "Did your Grandfather eat 5 candy bars every day?"

The little boy said, "No, he minded his own fucking business."

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter, and the fourth one orders one eighth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says,"you guys should know your limits."

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first says, "I'll have a beer."
The second says, "I'll have one half of a beer."
The third says, "I'll have one fourth of a beer."
Frustrated, the bartender pulls out two bottles and says, "You guys should know your limits."

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In Canada, we don't call the homeless homeless...

We call them "three seasoners".


They don't make it through the fourth.

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If laziness was an Olympic sport...

I would be fourth so I wouldn't have to step up on the podium.

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Man arrested for selling eternal youth pills.

News has just come in about a man in the Dublin area has been arrested for selling pills that he claimed would give eternal youth.

Police records have shown that it is the fourth time this man has been arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921.

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Three fourth grade boys get into a dick measuring contest...

The boys are white, black and Asian. They all three pull out their dongs and measure up. The winner ends up being the black dude by a long shot.

When the black boy goes home he goes up to his mom and says "mom! today I got into a contest with the boys where we measured our dicks and I won! Is it because I'm black??

She said "no Tyrone its because you're 18"

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A guy sits down at the bar and orders a Martini with two olives...

bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the two olives, puts them aside on a napkin, drinks the martini, asks for another. By the fourth Martini with two olives, the bartender asks the man "I don't mind, but I gotta ask....why do you ask for a Martini with two olives, then take the two olives out of it?" the man replies "My wife sent me to the store for a jar of olives but the store was closed."

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A Black Woman

So there is a black woman who has four kids.
The first one is named Tyrone.
The second one is named Tyrone.
The third one is named Tyrone.
And the fourth one is maned Tyrone.

How does she tell them apart?





By their last name.

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Mathematicians in a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint, the second a half a pint, the third 1/4 pint, the fourth 1/8... the bartender gets impatient, gives the whole group 2 pints and says "you guys dont know your limits..."

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Four older men are bragging about their sons

The first says, "My son is a bishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Excellency".

The second says, "My son is an archbishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Grace".

The third says, "My son is a cardinal, and when he enters the room people say, Your Eminence".

"My son is 7 feet tall, and 500 pounds," says the fourth man.

"And when he enter the room, people say, 'My God!'"


...told by my parish priest.

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A woman falls off of a ten story building...

...and a man on an eighth floor balcony reaches out and catches her in his arms.

"Do you fuck?", he asks.

"No!". she replied, and the man drops her.

On the sixth floor a man catches her and asks, "Do you suck?"

Again she says no and the man drops her.

On the fourth floor a man catches her and she immediately yells, "I FUCK! I SUCK!"

The man looks disgusted. "Slut!" and he drops her.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first one asks for a pint. The second one asks for half a pint. The third one asks for quarter a pint and so on. When the fourth one asks for 1/8th of a pint, the bartender gives them two pints instead and says:

"You guys should know your limits."

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4 men in a pub

4 men are chatting in a pub,

The first man says:"I sleep with my wife once a month",

The second man says :"i sleep twice a month",

The third says:"I sleep once a week",

The fourth man says:"I sleep twice a week",

Then the first man says: "What are you talking about? you aren't even married",

The fourth man replies: "Oh I thought everyone was talking about your wife".

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Four old ladies were sitting together...

The first one says, "My son is a bishop, and when he walks into a room, people say 'Your excellence.'"

The second one says, "Well, my son is a cardinal, and when he walks into a room, people say 'Your eminence.'"

The third lady says, "My son's the Pope, and when he steps into a room, people say 'Your holiness.'"

The fourth woman says, "My son's only a priest, hardly 5 feet but over 300 pounds. And whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Oh my God!'"

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And the Lord said into John, "Come fourth and you will receive eternal life"

But he came fifth and won a toaster.

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A husband and wife grow distressed as more and more uninvited guests swarm into their party.

The husband has a plan.

He moves to the front, manages to get everyone's attention, and calls out, "If you're from the groom's side, please stand up."

About one fourth of the guests stands up.

He calls out, "Those from the bride's side, please stand up."

Another one fourth of the guests stands up.

He smiles and says, "If you are standing up, please leave. This is a birthday party."

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Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub

Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub with cold beers and all are relaxed.

Aussie says "Great, but back home there is a bar where the barman buys you your 5th beer once you've bought your fourth"

Well, says the Englishman, "back in Manchester my local has a buy 2 and get one for free policy".

Aah! says the Irishman, "in Dublin there's a bar where you get free drinks as soon as you walk in and they keep them coming all evening.Then they take you upstairs and you get non stop sex all night".

"What, youve actually experienced this yourself"? asks the Aussie.

Well "no" says the Irishman "but me sister has"!

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History Quotations

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?' Patrick Henry, 1775′, he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863′ said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F ___ the Indians,' 'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997′

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' and Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008.′

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Four old guys go golfing...

And they start bragging about their sons.

The first says "My son is a lawyer, and he is doing so well, he just gave his friend a new car!"

The second says "My son is a doctor, and he is doing so well he just bought his friend a new boat!"

The third guy says "My son is an executive, and he is doing so well he just bought his friend a new house!"

The fourth guy says "Well, my son is a stripper at a gay club, but he must be doing pretty well because he just got a new car, a new boat, and a new house..."

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Tiger Woods and a preacher play golf.

Tiger Woods and a local preacher get paired off at a charity golf tournament. On the fourth hole, Tiger misses an easy, 6 foot putt, and shouts "God dammit!" The preacher turns to him and says, "Tiger, you've already angered God. If you blaspheme any more, God will smite you where you stand." 3 holes later, Tiger misses another putt, and shouts, "Fuck!" The preacher turns to him and says, "I'm warning you. If you don't watch your mouth, God will smite you." Tiger holds his tongue until the last hole, where he misses yet another easy putt badly. Visibly frustrated he mutters, "son of a bitch. Fuck this game." The preacher hears him, and says, "That's it! God will smite you!" An instant later, a lightning bolt strikes the preacher, killing him instantly. Tiger looks up, and hears a booming voice from the heavens yell "Fuck!"

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A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.

A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
"Now I will fullfill your 3 wishes" - he said.
"I wish two lines of the best stuff on the world. Let's take it together, it will be great."
"Ok, that was your first wish. Don't waste all of them on drugs" - genie said and two lines of the best stuff appeared. They both had a great party but suddenly the effect of these drugs ended.
"What is your second wish?" - genie asked
"I want another two lines of the best stuff on the world."
Another two lines appeared and they both were on high again. When the effect ended, Genie asked: "And your third wish?".
"Two lines of the best stuff on the world again."
Two lines appeared again and they were on high. When the effect ended, the genie appeared again:
"So, my friend, what is your fourth wish?"

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer; the second orders half a beer; the third orders a quarter of a beer. When the fourth mathematician walks up, the bartender looks at him with impatient eyes and a serious face.

"I'll have an eighth of a beer."

The bartender pours two beers and yells to the crowd, "You're all assholes! Just want you to know that!"

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Why a fourth time?

A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a 'funeral director.' After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse careers. With a smile on her face she explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

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Four men and a woman are at a coffeehouse...

The first man proudly says, "I'm better than all of you. I'm a priest, and whenever I walk into a room, everyone calls me "Father"".

The second man replies, "No, I'm better. I'm a bishop, and whenever I enter a room, everyone calls me "Your Excellency"".

The third man then says, "No, I'M better. I'm a cardinal, and whenever I enter a room, everyone calls me "Your Eminence"".

The fourth man says, "Shut up. I'm the best of you all. I'm the Pope, and whenever I enter a room, everyone calls me "Your Holiness"".

The woman just sits there in silence for a few moments, then begins to speak:

"I have 40DD tits, and whenever I enter a room, everyone just says "Oh My God".

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What are the most funny Fourth jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fourth? Well, here are the best Fourth dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fourth pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes