Fourteen Jokes
24 fourteen jokes and hilarious fourteen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fourteen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fourteen Short Jokes
Short fourteen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fourteen humour may include short sixteen jokes also.
- How do you get an antivaxxer to shut up? I've been here for over fourteen years, it's been all downhill for the last ten.
= - An Arabian man named Aghun has fourteen sons, each with a different first name. What title can be applied to each of them individually, as well as collectively? They're all a son of Aghun.
- One man. One dream. One crazy summer. Three wizards. Fourteen cobras. Ten thousand condoms... ...have nothing to do with each other, I'm just listing things.
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Fourteen One Liners
Which fourteen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fourteen? I can suggest the ones about thirteen and fifteen.
- How do you make a gold pie? You put fourteen carrots on it.
- "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen... " Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen...
- What's best about a sixteen year old girl? Her fourteen year old best friend.
Cheerful Fourteen Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about fourteen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eleven jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fourteen pranks.
My grandfather swore by adding a spoonful of gunpowder to his tea every morning.
He said it was a very old remedy to help him live longer, and it worked: he lived to the ripe old age of ninety-seven.
He left a widow, two children, fourteen grandchildren and a fifty-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
A man in Russia was arrested for saying that Putin is an idiot and given a peculiar sentence to one year and fourteen days precisely in prison.
That's fourteen days for criticising the government, and one year for revealing a state secret.
Inmates Running the Asylum
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
The numbers game
A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. 'Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!' goes the noise from within the mental hospital's wards.
The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye.
As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues:
'Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!'
A man is walking on a sidewalk past...
An insane asylum. He hears voices on the inside chanting "thirteen,thirteen, thirteen".
He is curious why they are chanting that. He looks around and finds a hole that allows himself to look inside the fence. As he puts his eye on the hole a stick jabs him in the eye. And the chant changes to "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen".
My dad tells this joke all the time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man enters a bar
He's completely wasted, drunk like a skunk. The bartender looks at him and says, "Whoah dude, you look like s**...! What's up?" - "Yeah... hicc... You know I hve... hicc... been flat hunting for like... hicc... fourteen... days..." - "Ah, yeah, I can relate" says the bartender. "What kind of a flat are you looking for?" he asks. The man sighs and says "... hicc... My own..."
[Possible OC] My dad just gave the birds and the bees speech to my 14 year old brother
I asked him, why didn't I get the speech when I was fourteen?
At this point I was sixteen and still haven't gotten it.
He said, You have natural protection.
I said, How so?
He said, Have you looked in a mirror recently?
When I was fourteen years old, my father gave me an advice for my swimming lessons..
I listened, went to the lesson and after coming back, I talked to him.
Me: "Do you remember what you said earlier? You should put a potato in your speedo to impress the girls! I did that."
He: "So, how did it work?"
Me: "Well, you should've told me to put the potato in the front of my speedo."
Bono walks into a bar in Tijuana.
He has thirteen of his closest friends with him, and he offers to buy the first round. He walks up to the bartender and orders in Spanish. The bartender comes out a bit later and hands out all the beers.
Bono laughs and says, "I love this place. Every time I come here, I order four drinks, and the bartender brings out fourteen!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the South Carolina r**... who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:
“Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.
” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
“Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Donald trump was getting his daily briefing...
Sir, there was another 60,000 cases of corona and a thousand Americans died
Huh - the orange elder barely nods and continues watching Fox.
Sir- also there was a riot in downtown DC and two cops and fourteen protesters are dead and sixteen in custody
Yawn... next , replies the Donald chewing on his fries.
Three American soldiers were killed in Afghanistan too
BORING!
And finally a wall has collapsed and we lost two Brazilians
Donald's eyes go red and tears begin to stream down his face.
Sir- I - I didn't know that would mean so much to you?!
Donald looks up through watery eyes How many is a Brazilian?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four women were chatting in the locker room (n**...)
When one of them mentioned the fact that while there were numerous terms for male m**...: jerking off, w**..., spanking the monkey, and so on... there weren't any common terms for female m**....
"I've always called it 'jilling off'," said one of the women.
"But that's just a feminization of 'jacking off,'" said the second.
"You're right," said another. "We don't seem to have any slang terms of our own for it."
The fourth woman snorted. "After fourteen years of marriage, there's only one thing I call it."
"What's that?"
"Finishing the job."
Read this joke like ten years ago! Will never forget it!
So this guy walks home one day and in the distance he can hear some yelling,
"thirteen, thirteen" but thinks nothing of it.
As he walks on he hears the sound get louder and closer. When he walks pass a wooden fence he once again hears the word "thirteen, thirteen". He could see a hole in the fence so he leaned forward and tried to see what the fuss was about!
At the exact moment the man got a finger in his eye and you could hear the words being yelled: "fourteen,fourteen"
