four brothers Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious four brothers puns

Bubba and his three brothers Billy, Buck and Bob were driving their brand new truck one morning.

Suddenly they were rear ended by an old man. Furious, they pulled over and were about to beat the shit out of him.

Man - "Hold on, this is unfair. There are four of you and I'm just a weak old man."

Bubba - "You're right. Billy and Bob, you two fight on his side to make it even."

Buck - "But now it's three vs. two."

Bob - "You go home old man, we'll sort this out."

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How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet?

I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.

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when the boys started to swear...

There are two brothers, aged four and six.

The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear."

The four year old says "OK."

The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'HELL' and you say 'ASS.'

"The four year old says "OK."

So they go downstairs and their mother says
"What would you boys like for breakfast?
"The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes."

WHACK!

The kid goes flying across the room.

The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

The four year old says

"I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

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The Heart Attack

A blonde man gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs only to find his wife naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's happening!?' he asks.


'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the wife. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy Daddy! Uncle George is hiding in the closet & he has no clothes on."

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past his wife. Rips open the closet door and sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked and cowering on the floor. 'YOU SICK BASTARD!! My wife's having a heart attack, and all you're doing is running around naked and scaring the kids!!'

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My dad's a magician

Bob: What does your father do for a living?

Joe: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

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A charitable organization noticed that the richest man in town had never donated.

A representative of the organization called the man. "Our research shows that you make millions of dollars a year, and we were wondering if you'd like to donate some amount to help those in need."

The man responded, "Did your research show you that my mother is suffering from a chronic illness, and cannot afford her medical bills?"

"Erm, no..."

"Did your research take into account my sister, whose husband died and was left broke with four children and no job?" the man said.

"I'm so sorry..." the rep began but was abruptly cut off

"Or perhaps my brother, who is a disabled veteran and is confined to a wheelchair, and long wait lists at the VA just to see a doctor?"

The representative was speechless.

Then the man said, "And I don't give any money to them, so why the hell should I give any money to you?"

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Four Chinese brothers....

...named Chu, Bu, Hu, and Fu decided to go to the United States of America. They had to Americanize their names in order to get a Visa... so Chu became CHUCK, Bu became BUCKS, HU became HUCK, and FU decided to remain in China...

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Every night at the pub...

...the Irishman followed the same ritual. He ordered five shots of whiskey, then held each glass up in a silent toast, and drank them down in turn.

After seeing this for weeks on end, the bartender's curiosity got the best of him, and he said to the Irishman, "I notice you always order five shots. Is there a story behind that?"

"Aye, lad. I have four brothers, and we used to go out drinking every night. They've since moved away, so, as a tribute, I always order a shot for each of them and one for myself."

One night the Irishman came in and ordered four shots of whiskey. "I'm afraid to ask..." said the bartender. "Did something happen to one of your brothers?"

"Nay, lad, my brothers are fine. It's me. My doctor said I have to quit drinking."

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter...

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight." the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for our brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He cant do either one."

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Two twins, one boat.

Joe and John were identical twins.

Joe owned an old, dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day, he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who promptly sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.

Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly that day. When Joe got back on shore, he went to town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

"Hell no!" Joe replied. "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old, dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and she smelled bad, but they wanted her anyway. Those idiots tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.

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He's My Brother!

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?

Eight, the boy replied.

The man continued, Do you know what these are used for?

The boy replied, Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes," the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of that!"

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Two brothers hatch a plan before breakfast...

Two brothers, about six and four years old, wake up and start getting ready for the day.

The older brother tells the younger brother: "Today, we are going to learn how to cuss!"

And the younger brother, unsure about the idea says, "Haa, okay! How do we do that??"

The older brother tells him, "I'm going to say 'goddamn' and you say: 'fat ass!'"

"OK!"

They finish putting clothes on and head downstairs to the dining table. The mother is in the kitchen and says, "What would you like for breakfast?"

The older brother with a big grin says, "I want some goddamn Cheerios!"

The mom slaps him across the face and spanks him all the way back up the stairs, scolding and ridiculing him until he's crying in his room.

Then the mother, a little flustered, comes back down and asks the little one, "Now.. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Well, you can bet your fat ass I don't want Cheerios!"

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Beers for me brothers

So, there's a man in a small Irish village who comes to a local pub at least once a week. When he came around, he would always order three beers and sit and drink all three before leaving.

One day a new patron came into the bar and while sitting at the bar noticed the man order three beers. Out of curiosity, the patron asked him, "'Scuse me mate. I notice you ordered three beers and drink all three yer self. Why is that?"

And the man said, "Well me and my two brothers used to come to this pub and drink. But, my eldest brother moved to New York and my younger brother moved to Manchester. So, I come down and drink for them and they do the same for me when they go out."

The new patron smiled and left the man to his drink. About four weeks later, the man who order three drinks came into the pub, but only order two beers. The pub was silent and a lot of the patrons held their head down in respect. The new patron felt that someone needed to console the bloke so he walks over to him an says, "Mate, if there is anything I could do. Hell, anything the pub can do, let us know."

The man is a little confused: "What do ya mean?"

The patron says, "Well, you only ordered TWO beers tonight instead of your three. I mean, I hope the loss of one of your brother's hasn't been too hard."

The man looked around and says, "Oh, no mate, no one died....I just quit drinking!"

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A joke from my 5 year old brother...

Q: What has four legs but doesn't move?

A: A statue of a dog!

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A guy sits down at a bar...

... and tells the bartender that he has a joke he'd like to tell, but is worried about offending him. The bartender says I've been working here for a long time, and I've heard a lot of jokes, and none of them have ever offended me. So go ahead. The guy agrees and asks what has four arms, four legs and sucks dick?

The bartender, somewhat amused, ponders the question for a bit before ultimately conceding that he does not know. The guy replies, you and your brother. The bartender frowns and tells the guy you know what? I think that actually offended me. To which the guy replies well, why don't you go tell that joke to the man at the end of the bar and see if it offends him? The bartender agrees. He goes up to the man at the end of the bar and asks what has four legs, four arms, and sucks dick?

The man says I don't know what? The bartender replies me and my brother.

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A heart of gold.

A local charity had never received a donation from the town's banker, so the director made a phone call. Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity, the director began. Wouldn't you like to help the community?

The banker replied, Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?

Um, no, mumbled the director.

Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister's husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?

I … I … I had no idea.

So, said the banker, if I don't give them any money, why would I give any to you?

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A seven-year-old tells his four-year-old brother that they should start swearing.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'" The four-year-old happily agrees.

At breakfast, the seven-year-old says, "Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some toast."

The surprised mother quickly smacks him. The boy runs upstairs crying. The mother turns to the younger boy, "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

"I don't know," the four-year-old blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it's not gonna be toast!"

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Four Chinese brothers

Name Bu, Hu, Lu and Fu wanted to move o America. They had to Americanize there names in order to get there visa. Bu became buck. Hu became huck. Lu became luck and fu..... Decided to stay in China

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The day my dog died

When I was about four years old my brother had an old beater of a sports car, and one day he and my dad were draining the gas tank before they do more work. So they drain the gas into a bucket and then go inside for beer. My dog Hershey's trots on up to the bucket and takes a nice long drink.. And then he began to run laps around our house, faster and faster until my dad came out to see all the commotion. Just as he got out Hershey's falls down on to his back and is still.

My dad frantically asked me What happened is the dog okay?!
I laughed and said Yeah he's fine, he just ran out of gas.

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Rich Banker

A local charity had never received a donation from the town's banker, so the director made a phone-call. Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity, the director began. Wouldn't you like to help the community?
The banker replied, Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?
Um, no, mumbled the director.
Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister's husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?
I … I … I had no idea.
So, said the banker, if I don't give them any money, why would I give any to you?

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A business man was going to a meeting out of country...

He needed someone to watch his mom and his cat. His brother immediately said he would take the job. The older brother replied with "I'm sorry but you've always been very irresponsible."

The younger brother then said "I promise I can do it! I've got a job and my own place and I'm really coming up in the world."

So the older brother agrees and leaves for his week long meeting. Day one he calls his brother and says, "how's the cat?"

The younger brother then responds saying "I'm sorry, but the cats dead"

The older brother exclaims "What the fuck? You just ruined my whole vacation! Day one you could have said that the cats on the roof and you can't get him down. Day two you could have said that the cat was still on the roof. Day four you could have said the cat fell off the roof and you took him to the vet. And when I got home you could have told me the cat died. But anyway, forget the cat. How's mom"

"Moms on the roof and I can't get her down"

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My brother's in the circus - he gets Β£500 a week for swallowing a four-foot sword.

What's so good about swallowing a four-foot sword? He's only three feet tall.

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TIL four Chinese brothers attempted to invent the airplane but failed miserably

Apparently two Wongs don't make a Wright

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Two friends meet up and one says: "So I've heard you formed a band?"

\- Yes, a quartet!

A quartet? That's four of you, right?

\- No, three.

Three!?

\- Yes, me and my brother.

You have a brother?

\- No, who do you ask?

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[OC] During his search for the Holy Grail...

King Arthur sent his knights and squires to all four corners of the globe. One of his ships landed in Zimbabwe, and engaged in grueling battle with the local tribe of cannibals for no less than 30 days and 30 nights. The knights had fought long and hard, but ultimately succumbed to the sheer numbers of the tribe.

During the night's celebratory feast, one of the tribesman looked up from his haunch of meat and over to his brother. "Hey, does this taste funny to you?"

His brother took a bite of his meal, chewed for a few seconds and after giving it some thought, replied "You know what?"

"What?"

"...I think we're on the same Page."

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After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."

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I tried to date this girl from Alabama, but her whole family was way too racist.

Her sister, her aunt, her brother, her uncle, and her mom and dad.

All four of them are just nuts.

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Two little boys go into the grocery store.


One is nine, one is four.
The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.
The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"

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What do you call a girl from Kentucky that can run faster than her four brothers?

A Virgin.

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What are the most funny Four Brothers jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Four Brothers? Well, here are the best Four Brothers dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Four Brothers pick up lines to share with friends.

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