Foul Jokes
48 foul jokes and hilarious foul puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about foul that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh (or cringe) at the funniest - and foulest - jokes around! From outrageous 'yo mama' jokes to the infamous Foul Mouth Johnny, we cover some of the stinkiest, smelliest and best jokes in existence. Don't miss out on the Tutankhamen joke with a twist or the backhanded Patriots 'jokes'. This collection of foul language is sure to provide plenty of shock and maybe even surprise a few readers.
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Funniest Foul Short Jokes
Short foul jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The foul humour may include short fowl jokes also.
- Why did the duck cross the basketball court? He heard the referees were blowing fouls...
-Jim Norton - I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee. No arm, no foul.
- I saw a Battle Droid push a foul-mouthed clone trooper off a cliff.... ...he was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
- A farmer in Utah allegedly stomped on a group of chickens during their evening game of kickball The police suspect foul play was afoot
- Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game? Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.
- I'm desperately trying to stop sleeping with a lying, drug taking, foul-mouthed nun. I'm finding it hard to quit the bad habit.
- A fava bean was playing near a meat grinder Then his mother came and said, "Stop that! You're making a foule out of yourself!"
- What's the difference between implicit and explicit differentiation? Implicit differentiation doesn't have a foul mouth
- BREAKING NEWS Hillary's entire campaign staff found dead from natural causes this morning. No foul play is suspected.
- Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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Foul One Liners
Which foul one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with foul? I can suggest the ones about nasty and revolting.
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
- What country uses the most foul language? Turkey
- Who do you call to clean up foul language? A cuss-todian!
- Why do chickens swear so much? They only know foul language
- Shakespeare would have been a terrible umpire. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.
- I was arrested for assault with a chicken. The cops suspected foul play.
- Why was the referee banned from the arena? For their foul language.
- What do you call a baseball that hasn't been washed in over a year? A foul ball.
- What do you call a water foul on acid? Peking duck.
- What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek? A Peking duck
- The inventor of Twister has died... ...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".
- A man dies after being struk by a baseball, foul play is suspected.
- Did you hear the one about fouls in Soccer? You'll get a kick out of it.
- Coach Krzyzewski thinks he's playing wheel of fortune... "I'd like to buy a foul"
- Where does a Foul-Mouthed Pirate wear his best Jewelry? On his Buccaneers
Foul Smelling Jokes
Here is a list of funny foul smelling jokes and even better foul smelling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does Nintendo say when it smells something foul? WiiiiiiiU!
- In the NBA, what do you call a foul on a good-smelling person? A fragrant foul.
Hilarious Fun Foul Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about foul you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean outrageous jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make foul pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman was forced to choose between two suitors to wed.
The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.
The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imagine.
Yet the woman wed the second man.
Because no matter how g**... you pictured him to be...
The first man was just a little grocer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Oedipus's father say when he heard his son using foul language?
"I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cosmonaut c**... lands
A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft c**... lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really bandaged from head to foot and sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.
"Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear.
"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yerster dye."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do baseball players know when to bathe?
Foul b**...
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Foul mouthed parrot
An old woman has a pet parrot with a filthy vocabulary. She warns him again and again to clean up his language. He just replies, "S\*!#w You, you old B\*\^$h.
So she grabs him and sticks him in the fridge to teach him a lesson.
As the poor parrot is there in the fridge, getting colder and colder, he spots a chicken, plucked and ready for the oven. He exclaims, "Holy s**...! What did you say to her"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth
Because they think that Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dogs are sitting in a field.
First dog turns to the second dog and says d**... man you smell like s**...! Have you been rolling in s**...?
Yep.
Wow. That is foul. Is it like a compulsive behavior?
Nope.
Do you do it to cover your scent up, like to ward off predators?
Nope.
Is it some weird f**... that gets you off?
Nope.
Then why would you roll in such pungent p**...!?
So I can sit in peace and not be bothered. Figures it wouldn't work on a German Shepherd
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
A real cliffhanger....
Did you hear about the scientist who successfully made an exact copy of himself?
Unfortunately it was very foul mouthed and crude, and the scientist grew tired of it, and finally got rid of it by pushing it off a cliff.
He was later arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?
It was a m**... most foul.
Woman Talks
An elderly couple talk in the evening: Honey,
I'm so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often.
How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?
I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.
And that helps? Yes, because I'm using your toothbrush.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At first I suspected foul play in the whole Aaron Hernandez s**... thing.
But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is the greatest Chicken-Killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth, because he did m**... most foul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was Colonel Sanders like MacBeth?
Because they both... did m**... most foul.
