The Best 31 Foul Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Foul jokes. There are some foul halftime jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these foul offensive puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Foul Jokes and Puns
So there's this man with a parrot.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
A farmer in Utah allegedly stomped on a group of chickens during their evening game of kickball
The police suspect foul play was afoot
What country uses the most foul language?
Turkey
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
Coach Krzyzewski thinks he's playing wheel of fortune...
"I'd like to buy a foul"
A hole has been found in the outer wall of a nudist camp. Foul play suspected...
Investigators are looking into it.
I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee.
No arm, no foul.
I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth
Because they think that Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair.
I was arrested for assault with a chicken.
The cops suspected foul play.
Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?
It was a murder most foul.
You can explore foul patriots reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean foul duckling dad jokes. There are also foul puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
BREAKING NEWS
Hillary's entire campaign staff found dead from natural causes this morning. No foul play is suspected.
Why did the chicken get grounded?
For using foul language.
A man dies after being struk by a baseball,
foul play is suspected.
At first I suspected foul play in the whole Aaron Hernandez suicide thing.
But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.
Why do chickens swear so much?
They only know foul language
Woman Talks
An elderly couple talk in the evening: Honey,
I'm so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often.
How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?
I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.
And that helps? Yes, because I'm using your toothbrush.
What's the difference between implicit and explicit differentiation?
Implicit differentiation doesn't have a foul mouth
Shakespeare would have been a terrible umpire.
Fair is foul, and foul is fair.
Why was Colonel Sanders like MacBeth?
Because they both... did murder most foul.
The inventor of Twister has died...
...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".
What is the most commonly used language in computer programming?
Foul
A Saudi Arabian asks an Egyptian all you guys eat is foul (fava beans) what separates you from animals?
The Egyptian responds: the Red Sea .
What do you call a baseball that hasn't been washed in over a year?
A foul ball.
Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election...
....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."
What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?
A Peking duck
Where does a Foul-Mouthed Pirate wear his best Jewelry?
On his Buccaneers
A real cliffhanger....
Did you hear about the scientist who successfully made an exact copy of himself?
Unfortunately it was very foul mouthed and crude, and the scientist grew tired of it, and finally got rid of it by pushing it off a cliff.
He was later arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
What do you call a water foul on acid?
Peking duck.
Who is the greatest Chicken-Killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth, because he did murder most foul.
Why was the referee banned from the arena?
For their foul language.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the foul febreeze jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working foul timeout piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.