Fortyfive Jokes
9 fortyfive jokes and hilarious fortyfive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fortyfive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Entertaining Fortyfive Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What is a good fortyfive joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How many U.S. Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
Forty-five. A couple dozen to turn it to the right, a score of them to turn it to the left, and one to really, really screw it at the end.
So, the 7 year-old daughter is talking with her mom...
"Mom, today at school during break, Jason and I played doctor!" she says excitedly.
"Oh dear" the mother answers, fearing the worst "what did you two do?"
"Oh, not much, he made me wait forty-five minutes and then double billed the insurance company."
My wife called me today while I was at work and said, Honey, I've started to have contractions! I need you to drive to the hospital!
Forty-five minutes later when I got there, I called her back and asked, Right, I'm here, what do you want me to do now?!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How old is too old to be n**... around your kids?
Because forty-five just doesn't *feel* old.
Big Smoke walks into a bar
He ordered two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large beer.
Mother and Father
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and yells, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're both coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."
I found this blond joke to be hilarious...
A blond driving a car became lost in a snow storm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her, "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot. Do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"
School Time
A father becomes aware that his son is oversleeping again and will be late for school. He raps repeatedly on his son's door.
"Wake up, wake up, you'll be late for school!" the father says loudly.
"I don't want to go to school," his son answers.
"Why not?" asks the father.
"Three reasons," responds the son. "First, because school is so boring; second, the kids tease me all the time; and third, I hate school!"
"I am going to give you 3 reasons why you MUST go to school," the father retorts. "First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old; and third, because you are the headmaster!"
A blonde in a snowstorm
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"
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