Fortuneteller Jokes
21 fortuneteller jokes and hilarious fortuneteller puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fortuneteller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fortuneteller Short Jokes
Short fortuneteller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fortuneteller humour may include short fortune teller jokes also.
- What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail? Small medium at large.
- What do you call a fortune-telling dwarf who's escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
- I called one of those psychic hotlines and said can you put me through to a large overweight fortune-teller please? She said sorry, we only have mediums
- "Comrade Stalin! A fortune-teller has come to visit you!" "Execute him. If he were a real fortune-teller, he wouldn't have come."
- A friend of mine started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.
He says prophets are going through the roof! - Did you hear about the albino fortune-teller who died in the house fire? She was a rare medium, well-done.
- Fortune Teller The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!
- I had to attend a seminar for psychics and fortune-tellers. Unfortunately, it has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
- Police are on the look out for a Midget Fortuneteller... He is described as a Small Medium at Large.
- Midget Fortuneteller Did you hear about the midget fortuneteller who killed his client.
His a small medium at large.
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Fortuneteller One Liners
Which fortuneteller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fortuneteller? I can suggest the ones about fortune tellers and psychic.
- What do you call a fortunetelling Spaniard? Cristóbal.
- What did the fortune-teller say to the lightbulb? "I see al bright future."
- A midget fortune-teller who escapes prison Is a small medium at large.
- What do you call a fortune-telling insect who plays the Queen? A Claire Foy Ant.
- What do you call a fat fortuneteller? A large
- h**... went to a fortune-teller one day.
Witty Fortuneteller Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about fortuneteller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean clairvoyant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fortuneteller pranks.
A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.
I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!
When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller
he's told not to worry. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" says the excited frog.
"When will I meet her?"
"Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."
A man was wandering around a carnival.....
and he happened to see a fortuneteller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.
Ah... said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. I see you are the father of two children.
That's what you think, said the man scornfully. I'm the father of THREE children.
The woman grinned and said, That's what YOU think!
h**... went to a fortuneteller
He went and asked her - " On which day will I die ? "
The seeress ensured him that he will die on a Jewish holiday.
" Why are you so sure about that ? " Demanded the angry h**....
" Any day " she replied, " On which day you die will be a Jewish holiday ".
A golfer went to a fortuneteller
He asked, "can you tell me if there are golf courses in Heaven?"
The fortuneteller entered a trance to ponder his question. After several minutes she responded- "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, the golf courses in Heaven are beautiful beyond any earthly imagination."
"That's wonderful!" said the golfer.
"And you'll be teeing off at eight-thirty next Friday."
Putin decides to invade Poland
Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller.
Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of v**... in Moscow 2016 cost.
Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty.
Putin: Rubles?!?
Fortuneteller: No, PLN.
What do you call a midget fortune-teller who's on the run from the law?
**A small medium at large.**
^(Hope this doesn't get posted often)
h**... and his fortuneteller
h**... once went to a fortune teller and asked her, "On what day will I die?". The fortune teller predicted that h**... would die on a Jewish holiday. Why are you so sure of that? , h**... demanded. To which the fortune teller responded Any day you die, will be a declared a Jewish holiday!
When was h**... gonna die?
h**... once asked a fortuneteller "on what die am I gonna die?" She told him that he would die on a Jewish Holiday.
"Why are you so sure of that?" Demanded h**....
"Any day" she replied. "On which you die will be a Jewish holiday."
A young woman goes to a fortuneteller. The fortuneteller tells her that she will be broke and unhappy until she turns fifty.
What happens when I turn fifty? the young woman asks, staring down at the cards.
Oh, nothing, said the fortuneteller. You'll just be used to it by then.
