Fortuneteller Jokes
20 fortuneteller jokes and hilarious fortuneteller puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fortuneteller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fortuneteller Short Jokes
Short fortuneteller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fortuneteller humour may include short fortune teller jokes also.
- What do you call a fortune-telling dwarf who's escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
- I called one of those psychic hotlines and said can you put me through to a large overweight fortune-teller please? She said sorry, we only have mediums
- A friend of mine started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.
He says prophets are going through the roof! - Did you hear about the albino fortune-teller who died in the house fire? She was a rare medium, well-done.
- Fortune Teller The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!
- Midget Fortuneteller Did you hear about the midget fortuneteller who killed his client.
His a small medium at large. - I called the fortune-teller for an appointment. She said "We will meet at 2pm" ... I didn't go
Share These Fortuneteller Jokes With Friends
Fortuneteller One Liners
Which fortuneteller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fortuneteller? I can suggest the ones about psychic and clairvoyant.
- What do you call a fortunetelling Spaniard? Cristóbal.
- What did the fortune-teller say to the lightbulb? "I see al bright future."
- What do you call a fortune-telling insect who plays the Queen? A Claire Foy Ant.
- What do you call a fat fortuneteller? A large
- h**... went to a fortune-teller one day.
Witty Fortuneteller Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about fortuneteller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lady luck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fortuneteller pranks.
A golfer went to a fortuneteller
He asked, "can you tell me if there are golf courses in Heaven?"
The fortuneteller entered a trance to ponder his question. After several minutes she responded- "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, the golf courses in Heaven are beautiful beyond any earthly imagination."
"That's wonderful!" said the golfer.
"And you'll be teeing off at eight-thirty next Friday."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Putin decides to invade Poland
Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller.
Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of v**... in Moscow 2016 cost.
Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty.
Putin: Rubles?!?
Fortuneteller: No, PLN.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a midget fortune-teller who's on the run from the law?
**A small medium at large.**
^(Hope this doesn't get posted often)
A young woman goes to a fortuneteller. The fortuneteller tells her that she will be broke and unhappy until she turns fifty.
What happens when I turn fifty? the young woman asks, staring down at the cards.
Oh, nothing, said the fortuneteller. You'll just be used to it by then.
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
