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Fort Jokes

104 fort jokes and hilarious fort puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fort that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you ready to laugh until you fort? Check out this collection of jokes featuring puns on extra fort-y words like "Pillow Fort", "Fort Knox", "Fort Worth" and "Fort Bragg". Whether you prefer metric or nite jokes, you'll find something that tickles your funny bone. Get ready for some forts-filled fun!

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Funniest Fort Short Jokes

Short fort jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fort humour may include short port jokes also.

  1. Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville? Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
  2. A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit... I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."
  3. My girlfriend wanted to have a talk about how childish i am But she didn't have the secret password to my pillow fort so she couldn't get in
  4. My girlfriend wanted to talk to me about how childish I am... ...but she couldn't because she doesn't know the password to enter my pillow fort.
  5. When I was a kid I pretended I was doing surgery on a stuffed animal inside a blanket fort I guess you could say they were undercover operations
  6. My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behaviour. Little does she know she can't enter my pillow fort without the secret password.
  7. What's the difference between a folder of an artist work and a diseased strong hold? One's a portfolio, and the other's fort polio
  8. I got fired from my job for assuring my clients that I will never let them down I guess being an elevator operator isn't my forte
  9. ...I wanted to design defensive structures for the city.... as it turns out, not my Forte.
  10. I used to misread music a lot I guess you can say that wasn't my forte

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Fort One Liners

Which fort one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fort? I can suggest the ones about pent and cont.

  1. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
  2. My Wife Told Me That I Was Immature I told her to get out of my fort.
  3. My girlfriend told me I was immature... so I told her to get out of my fort.
  4. My wife told me I was immature... So I told her to get out of my pillow fort.
  5. At what age are musicians the loudest? Forte
  6. Canadian castles... They really aren't my fort-eh.
  7. Where does the military send its under-qualified recruits? Fort Nite
  8. Musical Contradiction Piano is my forte.
  9. I guess you could say playing quietly....... Just isnt my forte
  10. Playing my instrument quietly Is not my Forte
  11. My wife told me to stop acting childish I told her to get out of my fort
  12. What do you call a fort made out of doors? Fort Knocks.
  13. My wife said I was immature. So I kicked her out of my fort.
  14. I'm going to use a bomb to break into Fort Knox.
  15. My wife told me I was being real immature So I told her to get out of my fort

Pillow Fort Jokes

Here is a list of funny pillow fort jokes and even better pillow fort puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife told me to stop being immature Luckily she didn't have the password for my pillow fort
  • My 12-year-old son was so happy when he found out tonight, for game night, is fort night. Who knew kids that age still find joy making pillow and blanket tents?!
  • Someone asked me why I was wearing a bunch of pillows and blankets on my head for Halloween... figured it was topical to go as Paul Man-In-Fort

Fort Knox Jokes

Here is a list of funny fort knox jokes and even better fort knox puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb to break into Fort Knox?
  • What do Betty Rubble and Fort Knox have in common? They're both impregnable
Fort joke, What do Betty Rubble and Fort Knox have in common?

Fort Worth Jokes

Here is a list of funny fort worth jokes and even better fort worth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My brothers new girlfriend reminds of the highway between Fort Worth and Dallas. Flat with no curves
Fort joke, My brothers new girlfriend reminds of the highway between Fort Worth and Dallas.

The Funniest Fort Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about fort you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fort pranks.

So I went to a fortune teller and asked if I was going to get any action that night.

She told me she didn't deal in self fulfilling prophecies.

At the fortune teller

h**... went to see a fortune teller. After he had sat down in the darkened room, the fortune teller said, I will read your palm for fifty dollars, and that entitles you to ask three questions.
Questions about what? asked h**....
About anything, replied the psychic.
But is not fifty dollars an awful lot to charge for that? complained h**....
Maybe, said the palmist, and what is your last question?

Fortunately I've never been brainwashed,

so my mind gets dirtier each day.

I have a lot of growing up to do.

I realized that the other day inside my fort.

My fortune cookie was spot on. It said,

You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.

Fortune teller

A guy who knows little English sees man across the street, this man has a funny hat, a beard and looks like a typical fortune teller.
Guy: excuse me, can you read fortune?
Fortune teller: okay just let me get out my phone, ah here we are, I see some people talking about drugs, a banana and a guy getting his head cut off.
Guy: that happen to me?
Fortune teller: oh *fortune*… I thought you said 4chan

All of the fortune teller I've met are either really depressing or overly enhusiastic.

Why can't I find a happy medium?

Fortune Teller

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!

Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common?

Both are full of w**... and smell like burning oil.

Fortune Teller recruitment

Come if you are accepted for the job

What do you call a p**...'s bra?

Fort k**...!

A fortune teller walks up to a boy on the street.

Hey, I have a joke for you, she says.
The boy shrugs. Ok.
The fortune teller smiles.
Cancer, she says.
Cancer? the boy asks. He frowns. If that's your joke, I don't get it.
Don't worry, the fortune teller says, and starts to walk away, You will when you're older.

Why couldn't the fortune teller fit into her shirt?

Because she's a medium

2 fortune tellers are talking about the weather.

The first one says it's going to be a hot winter. The second one replies "Yes, reminds me of the summer of 2093."

A fortune teller warned me that I'll lose $2000 today

Then she charged me $2000 for fortune telling

What has forty legs and two teeth?

A k**... rally.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

Fortunately my cat Whiskers did not win the feline b**... contest...

We avoided a cat-a**...-trophy

What's forty feet long and smells like u**...?

A conga line at a nursing home

If fortune favors the bold..

How come I was arrested for streaking?

A fort under siege held a 100m race for the women.

Mary, Pam and carol were the top three, sally fourth.

One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.

After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.

All of them are on her necklace.

I went to a fortune teller and they said in 30 minutes I would get dirt on my leg...

I guess it's just dusty knee

I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate.

Only thyme will tell.

Fortnite is a very popular new game

It's taking the world by storm.

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.
"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"
Revitalized, we picked up the pace.
"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

According to my fortune cookie I am getting a dolphin!

It said my life will have a purpose.

What's a Fortnite player's favorite Disney character?

SCAR

A fortune teller won $540 on the National Lottery..

A fortune teller won $540 on the National Lottery - She was neither ecstatic or too downhearted about it.
Just a happy Medium.

Why is Fortnite a bad name for a game?

It is too weak

A List of Forts.

A Fort.
B Fort.
C Fort.
D Fort.
E Fort.
G Fort.
H Fort.
I Fort.
J Fort.
K Fort.
L Fort.
M Fort.
N Fort.
O Fort.
P Fort.
Q Fort.
R Fort.
S Fort.
T Fort.
U Fort.
V Fort.
W Fort.
X Fort.
Y Fort.
Z Fort.
I didn't put any F Fort into this joke.

"Fortnite" is a terrible name for a game.

It's too weak.

What is the name of a medieval castle for stoners?

Fort Wenty

What did the Fortnite Tweaker say at their Wedding

Yaba - Dab - I do!

No wonder fortnite is so popular among school children

Who doesn't love hopping off the bus and shooting everybody in sight?

What do fortnite and your mom have in common?

Every twelve year old is into them.

How do fortune tellers greet each other?

You're good, how am I?

I'm a police officer, and like a midget hosting poker night in a blanket fort...

I'm going undercover as a small arms dealer.

A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years.

To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.

Why can't fortune tellers have children

They have glass b**...

Fortnite is like the USA

It used to be good and free, now it's neither.

What did the fortune-teller say to the lightbulb?

"I see al bright future."

My fortune cookie said that something positive would happen to me this week and it finally happened!!!

Guys do you know what this coronavirus thing is?

I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snow storms ..

It turns out I wasn't using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe .

Fortnite?

More like Fartnite lol!

My fortune teller is such a fraud, said my dad would live a long life but he died at 51

I wish my dad could live longer like our chef who completed 73 years yesterday.

A fortune teller told me that someone is going to post this again tomorrow

So I proved her wrong and posted it today lol sorry man I ruined your joke

A fortune teller told me that, in 12 years time, I'd suffer terrible heartbreak.

So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.

I went to a fortune teller and told her I wanted my palm read...

...the b**... stabbed my hand.

My fortune cookie said my dreams would become reality

Great...
So, I'll be in my underwear at school, late for a class I can't find, and my teeth will fall out.
Thanks, fortune cookie.

A fortune teller told me I'd suffer a tragic heartbreaking loss in 12 years

So to cheer myself up I got a puppy

Two fortune tellers meet each other.

One of them says:
"Hello! Your day was fine. How about mine?"

A fortune teller once told h**... he would die on a Jewish festival.

"How do you know" asked h**....
The fortune teller replied "Any day you die will be a Jewish festival."

Fortune teller knows it all

A fortune teller to a man, I can see you are the father of 3 kids.
The man smiles smugly, No, I have 4 kids.
The fortune teller, That's what you think.

My fortune teller told me that there is a man dating my girlfriend and that he is coming to kill me.

I was devastated to hear that she was cheating on me so I killed myself.

What do they do to army officers who are caught smoking w**...?

Lock them up at Fort Wenty.

A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.

I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!

I used to be a fortune teller but all I could predict was really cold winters.

Then I found out the crystal ball shop had sold me a snow globe..

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping in the sky.

One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him for com- fort. Can't you do something? she demanded. I'm sorry, ma'am, said the reverend gently. I'm in sales, not management.

Saruman's fortress has only one gate, but Sauron's realm has multiple gates

Sauron has more doors.

I saw a fortune teller today

She told me that is 12 years my best friend will die. It made me really depressed so I went and bought a puppy to cheer myself up.

So, this fortune teller came in to buy a sweatshirt, but we were out of her size...

Let me guess. She's a medium?

The fortune teller told me I'd lose one of my closest friends in 13-14 years.

To cope with this news, I bought a puppy.

Fort joke, The fortune teller told me I'd lose one of my closest friends in 13-14 years.

jokes about fort