Former Soviet Union Jokes
6 former soviet union jokes and hilarious former soviet union puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about former soviet union that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Former Soviet Union Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good former soviet union joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
If you go into someone's home
And they have a former Soviet Union banner hanging on the wall,
That's a big red flag.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pluses in the Soviet Union
Two Ukrainians are drinking together. Between shots of v**..., they are discussing many issues. One of the men was but a very young child when the Soviet Union dissolved and Ukraine and the other former member states gained their independence. Having very little recollection of what life was like back then, he asked the older man, Tell me, my good friend, were there pluses in the Soviet Union? The older man replied, There were. They were printed on batteries.
People from the former Soviet Union seem like they're either always in a hurry, or standing around loitering.
They're either Russian or Stalin'
The freakin' weather
Back during the days of the former Soviet Union, a fellow by the name of Gerald Chattington had a friend in the Soviet Embassy by the name of Rudolph Nosov, who would drop by occasionally.
One evening, Gerald and his wife, Peg, were sitting in the kitchen chatting when Gerald looked out the window and said, "Look, it's snowing."
Rudolph looked out and said very quickly, "No, I think it is just rain."
"I'm sure it is snow," insisted Gerald.
"And I am just as sure that it is rain," said Rudolph.
At this point Gerald turned to Peg to settle the argument. Peg looked out the window for a moment, then said, "What can I say? Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
USSR jokes about America
My dad told me this one was a classic when he lived in the former Soviet Union:
So as you know, Russia and America would send spies against each other frequently. All American spies were mandated to learn Russian and all Russians English.
Well so, the American spy gets dropped off in the middle of Siberia. Freezing, he goes to the nearest house and knocks.
When the owner gets to the door, the spy says, "May I please have some shelter and food?"
The owner of the house replies, "..........YOU MUST BE SPY!"
The spy immediately is baffled and attempts to cover up, "What are you talking about?!"
"No black man speaks Russian!"
Communism Joke (apparently it was one of Ronald Reagan's favorites)
A Soviet woman is trying to buy a Lada, one of the cheap automobiles made in the former Soviet Union. The dealer tells her that there is a shortage of these cars, despite their reputation for shoddy quality. Still, the woman insists on placing an order. The dealer gets out a large, dusty ledger and adds the woman's name to the long waiting list. "Come back two years from now on March 17th," he says.
The woman consults her calendar. "Morning or afternoon?" she asks.
"What difference does it make?" the surly dealer replies. "That's two years from now!"
"The plumber is coming that day," she says.
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