The Best 86 Fork Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fork jokes. There are some fork canoe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fork used fork puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Fork Jokes and Puns

Let's hear your best Helen Keller jokes.

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry

(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork...

But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were...

Fruitless.

Fork joke, So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork...

My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier....

....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded!

(I'll see myself out)


Can somebody please hand me a knife?

This fork just isn't cutting it.

I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork...

...it spoons.

She did not find it humorous

Fork joke, I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork...

Why did the apple eat itself with a fork?

Because it didn't have a spoon!

(Courtesy of my three year old daughter.)

Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person

Fork

Two eggs are on the counter, they see a fork. One of them turns to the other and asks "what's that?"

The second egg says "beats me".

I was watching my friend Luke trying to eat with chopsticks

After watching struggle for a while, I told him

Use the fork, Luke.

You can explore fork knife reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fork pitchfork dad jokes. There are also fork puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


what do you say when you're out of spoons?

fork it.

You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing?

A pitchfork

My friend Luke can't use chopsticks

Every time I see him try, I tell him

"Use the fork, Luke."

What do you call a 3 pronged fork?

A threek.

Ain't nobody got tines fo' dat.

Two Polish guys are hunting for bears in the woods.

They come across a fork in the road with a sign that says "BEAR LEFT" They both turn around and go home.

Fork joke, Two Polish guys are hunting for bears in the woods.

Developers don't spoon their SO

They fork them.

How do cannibals pick up women?

With a fork

I'm starting a self-serve fork business.

It's called Go Fork Yourself.


Dear Fork,

Dear Fork,

I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely,
Spoon

Three men are captured by canibals

The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die.

The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his throat.
The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"

Life is a soup

And i am a fork

Today I quit my job at the silverware factory...

I told them they could go fork themselves.

Three skunks are walking down a road...

And they come to a fork in the road. The first skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the left." The second skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the right." The third skunk says, "Well my end stinks too, but it doesn't talk to me."

What do you call it when things between two utensils starts to heat up?

Fork play.

I can make you speak even MORE Irish.

Say this five times fast:

"Your fork can eat jet."

Spooning leads to forking

But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed.

Two utensils are laying in bed...

One turns to the other and says "wanna spoon?"

The other replied, "no, I'd rather fork."

What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight?

Civilwar!

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland

... and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

At a choral concert...

...you may see a choir director with a pitch pipe or a tuning fork, but you'll rarely see one with a pitch fork.

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Why can't silverware go on good road trips?

Because every time they set out, they eventually come to a fork in the road.

I remember when I was a kid, at dinner my parents gave me a knife and fork, so I'd bang them on the table..

..We were quite an incestuous family.

I tried to eat soup with a fork.

It was a strain.

How do the Chinese name their children?

They throw a fork down the stairs and listen for the sounds. *ping* *ching*

Why did the fork go to the party?

It wanted to have a good tine.

Life is like soup

I'm a fork

Do what I ask you to do

Say fork for times out loud.
Out loud is important.
Then say soup exactly five times.
Then fork-soup ten times.
Then realise that I wasted your time.

I ate at a Vietnamese restaurant but I used a fork.

I guess you could say I made a pho-pas.

A fork and a knife's conversation

Knife: forks are basically useless.

Fork: why? What will people eat with?

Knife:with their hands.

Fork: you've got a point

eeny, meeny, kanye, flo

you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?

My little sister hated that our mother was addicted to cigarettes so she took a fork and stabbed the packet repeatedly.

Mom was not pleased. Holy smokes!

^(Based on a true story)

Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times?

You: "Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times with a fork? Her name was Reese ... uhm ..."

Friend: "Witherspoon?

You: "No, with a fork."

What do you call a bricklayer who stirs his mortar with a fork?

A mortar forker!

I wrote an article about "The top 10 worst places to stick a fork"...

The 5th one will shock you!

A bartender is serving drinks one night when a farmer comes in asking for a fork.

A while later another farmer comes in asking for another fork. After a little while longer a third farmer comes in asking for a straw.

Perplexed the bartender asks the farmer "why are you asking for a straw the other farmers asked for a fork"

To which the farmer responds "well someone threw up outside and all the lumpy bits are gone"

Heard this when I was a kid and still remember it

Yo momma so cheap...

...that she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

I forgot to pack a fork with my lunch today.

It was a pointless lunch.

What does a spoon hate to see when driving?

A fork in the road

My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting"

then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"

A recent survey found only 20% of parents were eating dinner with their children...

...the other 80% were using a knife and fork.

What did the spoon say to the knife.

It's knife to meet you. You wanna fork.

The knife then says, I can't there's to much on my plate.

I was going to break the prongs off my fork

But I realised it would be pointless

What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to Luke when he saw him trying to eat steal with a spoon?

Use the Fork Luke. The Fork

What did the large spoon say to the small fork?

Why are you so tine-y?

A man tries to fix a socket with a fork...

What happens next will shock you!

What did one blockchain say to the other?

Hey you wanna fork hard?

A blind man goes into a restaurant

They don't have any braille menus, so he tells the waitress "Just bring me a dirty fork. Whatever I smell on it, I'll order."

So the waitress goes and grabs a fork from the sink, not knowing that another waitress had just used it to scratch her behind. She hands it to the blind man who sniffs it and says, "I didn't know Rachel worked here!"

What do you call a fork made from the bone of a killer whale?

Forca

The people in the UK curse weird

Someone told me to get the fork out of here

Put a fork into an outlet.

What happens next will shock you.

My wife got really mad at me earlier when I tried to force feed our young son...

"Just use the fork!" she said. "You're not a Jedi!"

What do you call a pig with a fork?

Pork

Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork?

Cos there is no spoon

Imagine sticking a fork into an outlet

What happens next will shock you

"Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?"

"I wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."

Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?

Child: "Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?"

Mother: "I just wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."

A coworker just asked me to grab a fork and stab her in the neck.

I told her to go fork herself.

What do Michael J. Fox and the new guy at the warehouse have in common?

Both have trouble with the fork lift

Death row inmate requests steak for final meal

They are on suicide watch, so orders are spoons only

The guards don't give a fork

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say at a restaurant?

Use the fork, Luke

I once beat cream depressingly with a fork.

No whisk no fun.

Man at restaurant asks rude waiter:

- Can I have another fork please? This one is dirty.
- I don't give a fork.

What's a forklift?

Food, usually...

Anyone got a fork and a plate?

Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it :(

Why is the forklift operator at the distillery you own always so nice to you?

Because it's his job to lift your spirits.

I'm so poor

that I'm eating cereal with a fork to save on milk

Losing weight is a piece of cake

Just put down the fork!

What did Obi-wan say to Luke when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks?

Use the fork, Luke.

What did the cake say to the fork?

Do you want a piece of me!!!

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!

Me: Who's there?

3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!

Me: Fork who?

*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*

3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)

(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.

Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife

They were his Catlery

What happens if you slap a tuning fork?

It hertz

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.

He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.

A guy walks into a cafe and asks for a bowl of chili.

The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I take it?" The other guys says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and about halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guys says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fork stirs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fork reese piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes