Fork Jokes

143 fork jokes and hilarious fork puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fork that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for laughs? Check out this hilarious article full of smart puns and irreverent humor about tuning forks, garden forks, fork trucks, and more. See how these jokes put a new twist on familiar silverware, as well as what happens when a fork and a spoon find themselves unwashed. Get ready to dig in and laugh it up with these one-of-a-kind fork jokes!

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Funniest Fork Short Jokes

Short fork jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fork humour may include short knife jokes also.

  1. Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland ... and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
    So they went home.
  2. "Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?" "I wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."
  3. My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting" then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"
  4. I remember when I was a kid, at dinner my parents gave me a knife and fork, so I'd bang them on the table.. ..We were quite an incestuous family.
  5. Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, *Use the forks, Luke.*
  6. What did Obi-wan say to Luke when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks? Use the fork, Luke.
  7. Why was Louie Anderson clutching a fork when he died? He heard they have Meat Loaf in heaven.
  8. Dear Fork, Dear Fork,
    I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.
  9. Two eggs are on the counter, they see a fork. One of them turns to the other and asks "what's that?" The second egg says "beats me".
  10. Scientists have determined that 39% of couples, suffer pain after eating this one food. Wedding Cake.
    Put-the-fork-down and walk away...

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Fork One Liners

Which fork one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fork? I can suggest the ones about shaft and trap.

  1. I grew up so poor... That I had to eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
  2. What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker? *"Use the forks, Luke."*
  3. Put a fork into an outlet. What happens next will shock you.
  4. How do cannibals pick up women? With a fork
  5. I'm so poor that I'm eating cereal with a fork to save on milk
  6. Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks.
  7. Life is a soup And i am a fork
  8. Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it.
  9. What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!
  10. Just been to an apathetic Japanese restaurant. No forks were given.
  11. I tried to eat soup with a fork. It was a strain.
  12. What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at dinner? Use the forks, Luke.
  13. Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife They were his Catlery
  14. I reported a hazard on the highway the other day. There was a fork in the road
  15. My wife is very insistent on spooning in bed? But forking is apparently off the table

Fork And Spoon Jokes

Here is a list of funny fork and spoon jokes and even better fork and spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... spoons.
    She did not find it humorous
  • Two utensils are laying in bed... One turns to the other and says "wanna spoon?"
    The other replied, "no, I'd rather fork."
  • What does a spoon hate to see when driving? A fork in the road
  • When do people like spooning? After they are finished forking
  • Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them.
  • Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork? Cos there is no spoon
  • Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed.
  • Utensils Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"
    Guy 2: "That's forked up!"
    Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2*
    Guy 2: "What? Too spoon?*
  • I like to tease my friend Luke One time I gave him 2 forks when he asked for a spoon to have his cereal with. He said "Can I have a spoon?" I said "Luke, use the forks".
  • what do you say when you're out of spoons? fork it.

Used Fork Jokes

Here is a list of funny used fork jokes and even better used fork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A recent survey found only 20% of parents were eating dinner with their children... ...the other 80% were using a knife and fork.
  • My wife got really mad at me earlier when I tried to force feed our young son... "Just use the fork!" she said. "You're not a Jedi!"
  • What did Yoda say when he saw Luke struggling to eat noodles? Use the fork Luke!
  • I was watching my friend Luke trying to eat with chopsticks After watching struggle for a while, I told him
    Use the fork, Luke.
  • My friend just told me he's got these little lightsaber chopsticks he uses when he eats ramen. I told him he should use the forks.
  • What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say at a restaurant? Use the fork, Luke
  • What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners? Use the forks Luke.
  • They don't make forks like they used to. Modern plastic ware makes me miss the good old tines.
  • My friend Luke can't use chopsticks Every time I see him try, I tell him
    "Use the fork, Luke."
  • What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...? A fork
Fork joke, What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or

Fork And Knife Jokes

Here is a list of funny fork and knife jokes and even better fork and knife puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A fork and a knife's conversation Knife: forks are basically useless.
    Fork: why? What will people eat with?
    Knife:with their hands.
    Fork: you've got a point
  • What did the spoon say to the knife. It's knife to meet you. You wanna fork.
    The knife then says, I can't there's to much on my plate.
  • Why didn't the fork and spoon want to hang out with the butter knife? He was just too dull.
  • How to cannibals eat their meals? With a fork and knife, like everyone else.
    What kind of monsters do you think they are?
  • What do you call an aggressive knife and fork? Cutlairy.
  • Wanna fork? Not to-knife, but as spoon as I feel better.
  • Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
  • What do you call the trendy game kids are playing with their silverware? Fork-Knife
  • I heard the fork was having an affair with the knife... Or is it too spoon to bring that up?
  • Why are you eating the soup with the knife? Because the fork leaks.

Knife Fork Jokes

Here is a list of funny knife fork jokes and even better knife fork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the spoon say when he caught his knife cheating on him? Get the fork outta here!
  • If Spooning leads to Forking, what does Knifing lead to? Abortions.
  • Dinner is a lot like r**... You have the choice between a fork and a spoon or a knife

Tuning Fork Jokes

Here is a list of funny tuning fork jokes and even better tuning fork puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What happens if you slap a tuning fork? It hertz
  • You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing? A pitchfork
  • Which forks work at the radio station? Tuning Forks.
  • At a choral concert... may see a choir director with a pitch pipe or a tuning fork, but you'll rarely see one with a pitch fork.
Fork joke, At a choral concert...

Uproarious Fork Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about fork you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean forge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fork pranks.

Let's hear your best Helen Keller jokes.

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]

Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry
(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)

So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork...

But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were...

My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier....

....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded!
(I'll see myself out)

Why did the apple eat itself with a fork?

Because it didn't have a spoon!
(Courtesy of my three year old daughter.)

Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person


Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with a fork?

So they don't bite their fingers

What do you call a 3 pronged fork?

A threek.
Ain't nobody got tines fo' dat.

Two Polish guys are hunting for bears in the woods.

They come across a fork in the road with a sign that says "BEAR LEFT" They both turn around and go home.

Three men are captured by canibals

The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die.
The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his t**....
The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"

Today I quit my job at the silverware factory...

I told them they could go fork themselves.

Three skunks are walking down a road...

And they come to a fork in the road. The first skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the left." The second skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the right." The third skunk says, "Well my end stinks too, but it doesn't talk to me."

What do you call it when things between two utensils starts to heat up?

Fork play.

I can make you speak even MORE Irish.

Say this five times fast:
"Your fork can eat jet."

How do the chinese name their children?

They throw a fork down the stairs and listen for the sounds. *ping* *ching*

Why did the fork go to the party?

It wanted to have a good tine.

Do what I ask you to do

Say fork for times out loud.
Out loud is important.
Then say soup exactly five times.
Then fork-soup ten times.
Then realise that I wasted your time.

eeny, meeny, kanye, flo

you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?

My little sister hated that our mother was addicted to cigarettes so she took a fork and stabbed the packet repeatedly.

Mom was not pleased. Holy smokes!
^(Based on a true story)

Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times?

You: "Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times with a fork? Her name was Reese ... uhm ..."
Friend: "Witherspoon?
You: "No, with a fork."

What do you call a bricklayer who stirs his mortar with a fork?

A mortar forker!

I wrote an article about "The top 10 worst places to stick a fork"...

The 5th one will shock you!

A bartender is serving drinks one night when a farmer comes in asking for a fork.

A while later another farmer comes in asking for another fork. After a little while longer a third farmer comes in asking for a straw.
Perplexed the bartender asks the farmer "why are you asking for a straw the other farmers asked for a fork"
To which the farmer responds "well someone threw up outside and all the lumpy bits are gone"
Heard this when I was a kid and still remember it

Yo momma so cheap...

...that she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

I forgot to pack a fork with my lunch today.

It was a pointless lunch.

I was going to break the prongs off my fork

But I realised it would be pointless

I had to use a fork to grate some ginger today...

I'm convinced I've found the root of all evil.

What did the large spoon say to the small fork?

Why are you so tine-y?

A man tries to fix a socket with a fork...

What happens next will shock you!

What did one blockchain say to the other?

Hey you wanna fork hard?

A blind man goes into a restaurant

They don't have any braille menus, so he tells the waitress "Just bring me a dirty fork. Whatever I smell on it, I'll order."
So the waitress goes and grabs a fork from the sink, not knowing that another waitress had just used it to scratch her behind. She hands it to the blind man who sniffs it and says, "I didn't know Rachel worked here!"

The people in the UK curse weird

Someone told me to get the fork out of here

What do you call a pig with a fork?


Imagine sticking a fork into an outlet

What happens next will shock you

Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?

Child: "Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?"
Mother: "I just wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."

A coworker just asked me to grab a fork and stab her in the neck.

I told her to go fork herself.

What do Michael J. Fox and the new guy at the warehouse have in common?

Both have trouble with the fork lift

I once beat cream depressingly with a fork.

No whisk no fun.

Man at restaurant asks rude waiter:

- Can I have another fork please? This one is dirty.
- I don't give a fork.

What's a forklift?

Food, usually...

Anyone got a fork and a plate?

Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it :(

Why is the forklift operator at the distillery you own always so nice to you?

Because it's his job to lift your spirits.

Losing weight is a piece of cake

Just put down the fork!

What did the cake say to the fork?

Do you want a piece of me!!!

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!
Me: Who's there?
3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!
Me: Fork who?
*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*
3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)
(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.
He jumped in front of a model train.
The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.
He overdosed on placebo pills.
He jumped off a low bridge.
He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.
He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.
He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.

A guy walks into a cafe and asks for a bowl of chili.

The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees that the guy's bowl of chili is full. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I take it?" The other guys says, "No, help yourself." He starts to eat it and about halfway down, his fork hits something. It's a dead mouse, and he vomits the chili back into the bowl. The other guys says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

What do you call an ongoing fork prong?


What do you call a fork with 3 prongs?

A threek

Fork joke, What do you call a fork with 3 prongs?

jokes about fork