The Best 70 Forgotten Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Forgotten jokes. There are some forgotten remind jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these forgotten ready puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Forgotten Jokes and Puns

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50

Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.

Riceless.

Chinese takeout $20.00.. Gas to pick it up $10.00..

Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..

Riceless

A man and a boy walked into a barbershop together.

After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""

Forgotten joke, A man and a boy walked into a barbershop together.

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

Two old men

Fred and Bob were sitting in an old people's home.

"Fred," says Bob, "Do you remember those pills they gave us back in the war to stop us being interested in girls?"

"Oh yes," chuckles Fred, "I'd forgotten about them. Never did much good, did they!"

"Well, I don't know," replies Bob. "I was just thinking that they might be starting to work."


Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...

...shame really, they would have loved a kitten.

A priest was going to meet a parishioner for lunch

As he was getting ready to leave, he noticed he had forgotten to put on his white priest's collar. He looked and looked, but alas, couldn't find one. He asked another priest, "Do you have a collar I can borrow? One of the parishioners asked me if I could meet up for lunch to discuss some problems."

The other priest says, "Sure, no problem. Happens to everyone - a lay date and a collar short."

Forgotten joke, A priest was going to meet a parishioner for lunch

Did you hear about the guy who OD'ed on homeopathic medicine?

He had forgotten to take them.

My coffee wasn't strong enough.

So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.

I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway...

... I finished in 3^st

An English professor's wife leaves town for a few days.

Having forgotten something, she returns to find him in bed with another woman.

'Oh, my God!' She exclaims.
'I'm surprised.'

The professor tells her: 'Not quite darling...we are surprised. You are shocked.'

You can explore forgotten relive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean forgotten oblivion dad jokes. There are also forgotten puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the "Lazy Susan",

but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife.

Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.

From an English Professor.

"In the world of hi-tech gadgetry , I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the practice of using capital letters.

The use of capitals , known as capitalization , is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Is everybody clear on that ?"

Tried to make my coffee with Red Bull today...

I made it all the way to work before I realized I had forgotten my truck.

Chinese Takeaway

Chinese Takeaway - Β£24

Petrol To pick it up - Β£2

Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers.

Riceless

Forgotten joke, Chinese Takeaway

How To Translate Work Emails

I have a question. = I have 18 questions.

I'll look into it. = I've already forgotten about it.

I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further. = Don't ask me about this again.

No worries. = You really messed up this time.

Take care. = This is the last you'll ever hear from me.

Cheers! = I have no respect for you or myself!

Wife: Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

The fish's guitar sounded terrible.

He must've forgotten his tuna.


Once again, I've forgotten what time class starts...

When will I ever learn?

What's two words and forgotten by many?

The game

Honest Husband

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

Last time i had sex was just like the time a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs...

it happened so long ago ive forgotten the details.

What's the fastest way to retrieve forgotten password?

@CIACustomerService

A conversation between a forgetful mathematician and a blonde

Mathematician: "Excuse me, I seem to have forgotten the value for the sine function. Do you know what it is?"

Blonde: Ah???

Mathematician: No, not that, that's for cosine.

Blonde: Oh...

Mathematician: That's it! Thank you!

"Name a famous explorer that has been forgotten", asked my son

"Internet explorer.", I replied.

I once tried looking for images of Gary Oldman on Google

I had quite a shock when I realised I had forgotten the 'r' in Gary

An officer asked me "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

So I replied, "What, have you already forgotten?"

Looking back it probably wasn't a good answer

Ever forgotten a password?

Just call your local NSA agent and ask!

I'm so happy that 20th of April has so much attention!

Otherwise we would have forgotten Hitler's birthday! It's so nice of us to celebrate it.

Bob had forgotten his wedding anniversary and was in trouble.

His wife was really angry.

She told him, Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday

Getting some tacos from the drive thru $12... gas to pick it up... $5.00

Getting home and realizing they have forgotten the hot sauce...

Spiceless

Why do they call it PMS?

Because the name "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

My buddy told me this back in 2002 and I've never forgotten this one.

After divorcing from my ten year marriage, I started dating again and was soon using muscles I'd forgotten I had.

Mainly when I smiled.

Religious people get mad about abortions because they think it's killing babies.

They must've forgotten what Passover was about.

A lawyer walks into a courtroom without a shirt

Lawyer: "Can we please postpone this trial?"

Judge: "Of course, how can we start the trial when you've forgotten your lawsuit!"

Who was Rudolph's often snubbed, always forgotten brother?

Olof the other reindeer...

I like my women how I like my coffee...

...not forgotten about on top of my car and falling off the roof when i drive away

A lot of people think Sigmund Frued is a hack.

And yes, some of his theories were proven wrong but the work he did made the field of psychology so famous he should never be forgotten. They just go hand in hand, you cant have one without the mother,

My wife asked if I had paid the Water and Electric bills.

Of course, I had forgotten to, but not wanting to lie or admit fault, I just told her that they were both current.

The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...

But hey, it's all water over the bridge.

Courtesy of a child at work

(My responses are in the brackets)

Will you remember me in a hour? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a day? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a week? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a month? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a year? (Yes)

Knock knock
(Who's there?)
You've forgotten me already!

This man goes to the doctor and the doctor said;

You seem to have forgotten everything you know about 80s music

The man in a state of panic asks; oh no, what is the cure

The doctor said; oh my god it's worse than I thought

A vegan was flying to Germany and discovered the airline had forgotten his special meal. He had no choice but to eat the only meal available: sausage and cheese.

It was a Wurst-KΓ€se scenario.

Haircut

A man and a little boy go into the barber's.
The man has his hair done and then sits the little lad in the chair.
"Now wait here when your finished, I'm just off to do some shopping." says the man and leaves without paying.
Two hours later, the boy's still waiting, when the barber says, "I think your dad's forgotten you".
The little fella says, "He's not my dad, we just met outside and he asked me if I wanted a free haircut".

I had forgotten how to throw a boomerang

but then it came back to me

me: resetting forgotten password

*red box* : you can't use the old password

As I regained consciousness in the hospital from last night's car crash

the doctors were trying to convince me I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.

How come everyone's forgotten about internet explorer?

Because chrome takes up your memory.

One day the commissar was inspecting a potato farm in the Soviet Union and asked the farmer how his yields were.

The farmer said Oh commissar, the potatoes are so bountiful that together they can reach the foot of God. The commissar stopped and said Have you forgotten your communist teachings!? There is no God! To which the farmer said Exactly, that's why there's no potatoes.

A man was invited for dinner at a friends house.

Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "Thats really nice after all of these years youve been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

What's the capital of Thailand?

Ah fuckit I've forgotten

Did you know cucumbers improve your memory?

My uncle put one in me when I was a kid and I still haven't forgotten.

This morning I acidentally made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.

I got half way to work before I realized I had forgotten my car.

This is some very old university graffitti that's probably forgotten by now, so I'm posting it

Descartes: to be is to do

Nietzsche: to do is to be

Sinatra: do be do be do

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

Two old ladies go out for a coffee

Two old ladies who have been friends for a very long time go out for a cup of coffee.

One says to the other,

"I know we've been friends for a long time, but I'm pretty old now, you know how it is, and it so happens that I've forgotten what you're called. Could you remind me what your name was?"

The other lady silently kept stirring her coffee and after a brief pause said,

"Is this urgent?"

An old man was asked What's your secret that, even after 60 years of marriage, you still manage to call your wife my love, honey, sweetheart?

He said Well, I've forgotten her name long ago and I'm embarrassed to ask

I called my dad from the shop saying I'd forgotten what orange juice he asked for.

Concentrate he said, but I still couldn't remember!

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

I haven't had sex since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..." The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."

What do you call a forgotten ho?

An afterthot.

A priest is buying a used lawnwoer

\*lawnmower

He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."

It's sad that the villains of history are remembered but the heroes are forgotten...

Everyone knows about Hitler, but nobody knows about the valiant man that killed him.

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

Ah yes, I forgot it!

Sometimes I experience both amnesia and dejΓ  vu at the same time, and I'm like:"Yep, I've forgotten this before ".

An old man was sitting on a bench in the park and crying his heart out

A passing cop stopped and asked, what happened?

Old man: I have a beautiful young wife. Every evening she cooks the most delicious meals and serves it in candle light and then we have a romantic night.

Cop: So, why are you crying?

Old man: Because, I have forgotten where I live.

You know, the saddest thing about Dwayne Johnson's success as a movie actor is how he's completely forgotten his brothers who got him there.

Paper and Scissors.

A man an a boy walk into a barbershop

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

As I regained consciousness from last nights car crash.

The Doctors were trying to convince me that

I'm actually a Swedish bloke who has forgotten his identity...

But I am having none of it. I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the forgotten anniversary jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working forgotten forgettable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes