Forgiven Jokes
22 forgiven jokes and hilarious forgiven puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about forgiven that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Forgiven Short Jokes
Short forgiven jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The forgiven humour may include short forgive me jokes also.
- I used to pray for a new bike... then i found out that's not how god works so I stole one and prayed to be forgiven
- I honestly believe if Kevin Spacey confesses his crimes that he can be forgiven. As a Catholic Priest.
- A Muslim walks into a bar and orders a bacon sandwich and a beer.
"Isn't that forbidden in your religion?" the bartender asks.
"Yes, but my sins will be forgiven in... 9 minutes.. and 30 seconds." - We heard that when you ran away from home, your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."
- I've never forgiven the n**... for what they did to my grandfather. 12 hours a day he sat in that machine gun nest and no-one even brought him a cup of tea...
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Forgiven One Liners
Which forgiven one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with forgiven? I can suggest the ones about forgive me father and forgotten.
- Women have 6 lips... 2 to speak and 4 to be forgiven

Hilarious Forgiven Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about forgiven you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean apologized jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make forgiven pranks.
A man went to confession.
"Forgive me, father", he cried. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic."
"Well, that is not a sin?" Said the priest
"No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent."
"That is not proper, but your life was at risk, so you are forgiven."
"Thank you, father. But could I ask you another question?"
"Of course, my son."
"Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over?"
A man went to confession (again)
"Forgive me, father", he said. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic."
"Well, that is not a sin," said the priest
"No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent."
"That is not at all proper, but your lives were at risk, so you are forgiven."
"Thank you, father. But may I ask you another question?"
"Of course you can."
"Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over?"
A man walks into a church confessional
He says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night."
The priest is silent for a moment and then says, "Go home, cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it all down in one gulp."
"And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man.
"No" replies the priest, "but it will wipe that smirk off your face."
k**... Pastor
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux k**....
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux k**.... I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
4 Nuns
Four Nuns are standing in line for confession.
Nun 1: Forgive me, father, I have seen a n**... man.
Priest: Go wash your eyes in Holy Water and you will be forgiven.
Nun 2: Forgive me, father, I touched a n**... man.
Priest: Go wash your hands in Holy Water and you will be forgiven.
Nun 4 (speaking to Nun 3): Can I go in front of you?
Nun 3 (responding to Nun 4): Why?
Nun 4: I am not going to gargle the Holy Water after you wash your b**... in it.
Final words
A man is holding his wife's hand as shes lying on her death-bed.
"j**... , I have something to tell you before I pass on," she whispers."
"No, no, dear," says j**.... "Everything is forgiven now. All is well."
"No j**..." she mumbles." I've been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell you. I... I've been unfaithful to you. I slept with your best friend, Phil. I'm so terribly sorry."
"Yes,dear I know," Says j**.... "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
An Italian went to church to admit his sins.
When the father opened the confessional's window, man stated talking:
-Father, I have done sin. During ww2 in my neighborhood lived a very beautiful Jewish girl, who asked if I could hide her from the Germans.
Father answered:
-Well, that's bravery and not sin.
The man continued:
-But it wasn't just that. I started to collect "rent" in form of s**.... First once a week, but eded up to every day and twice on Sundays.
Father said:
-That time meny people surely did the same. Thus your sins are forgiven and you are free to go home.
The man still continued:
-Father, I still have one question. Should I tell the woman, that the war is over.
Jesus said...
Jesus said,"Ye with out sin throw the first stone."
So I threw a stone and tagged her hard.
Jesus looked at me and said, 'you know you have many sins right? '
I said I was sorry.
'You are forgiven' he told me.
So I threw another stone.
Bam!
One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"
Rest in Peace - Ron B. U.C. Berkeley
A man is holding his wife's hand as she lays on her death bed.
"j**..., I, . . ., I have something to tell you before I pass on."
"No, no, dear. Everything is forgiven now. All is well."
"No, j**.... I've been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell you. I, . . ., I've been unfaithful to you. I slept with your best friend, Phil. I'm so terribly sorry."
"Yes, dear, I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Steve Harvey cartel joke!
Steve Harvey : Are you sure you read correctly? Should I go back? Tell me what to do!
Gabriela Tafur : You're forgiven, don't worry.
Steve Harvey : You've forgiven me but the cartel has not. They're not handling it the same way.
One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"
A priest had 3 people at confession.
He went to Guy 1 and asked: What sin did you commit?'
Guy 1 responded: I murdered someone.
The priest responded Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.
He did so and stood back.
The priest asked Guy 2 and asked: What sin did you commit?'
Guy 2 responded: I cheated on my wife.
The priest responded Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.
He did so and stood back as well.
Then it was the 3rd person's turn. The priest asked him: So, what sin did YOU commit?
Nervously, Guy 3 responded: Um…well, you see, Father…I peed in the holy water.
A child s**... offender moves to my neighborhood.
Required by law to go door to door and state his case, he arrives on my doorstep to inform me.
Man: Although I am a man of God, I lost my way on two occasions. But you see, I asked God for forgiveness and I am assured that He will forgive me. I hope you can find it in your heart to do the same.
Me: Two occasions you say? So, are you saying God will forgive you for the same sin...twice?
Man: yes, I'm sure that at least your second strike will be forgiven if you ask forgiveness.
Me: We'll, I'm glad to hear that. Cause up until today, I only killed one child m**....
Confession
There once was a woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
