Forgetful Jokes
51 forgetful jokes and hilarious forgetful puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about forgetful that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of funny jokes about people who forget things.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Forgetful Short Jokes
Short forgetful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The forgetful humour may include short forgotten jokes also.
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget - As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time" I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
- When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
- I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford. Doctor: That's not how adhd works.
Me: But I keep losing my Focus. - Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
- My girlfriend dumped me on 9/11. That's one way of making sure I'll never forget.
^^^This ^^^isn't ^^^a ^^^joke, ^^^I'm ^^^actually ^^^broken ^^^inside. - I'll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket Daniel I'm sick of this bucket
- I like to tell girls I have my own private jet But I always forget to mention that my mom owns the rest of the jacuzzi
- It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. I swear if it happens again... I'll be ill
- My parents treat me like a god they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them
Share These Forgetful Jokes With Friends
Forgetful One Liners
Which forgetful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with forgetful? I can suggest the ones about amnesia and forgetting birthday.
- I'll never forget my dog's last words "You've taken too much acid."
- Girls treat me like God They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
- I'll never forget the words of my late Grandfather... "Sorry I'm late."
- How do you remember your wedding anniversary? Forget it once.
- Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
- I'll never forget my girlfriends last words. "You're that guy who's been following me."
- My first wife, I'll never forget her… and I've tried.
- I'll never forget my son's 89th sentence Dad, you remember weird stuff
- Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget
- Why do elephants drink so much? To forget
- Never ever call a lady fat! Because elephants don't forget.
- A Muslim temporarily forgets that he's not allowed to eat bacon... hamnesia
- I'm not saying my ex is fat... But my memory foam mattress took a year to forget her.
- Today is 9/11-NEVER FORGET Oh, my bad---Too soon.
- I want to get married on September 11th... That way I'll never forget my anniversary
Forgetful Husband Jokes
Here is a list of funny forgetful husband jokes and even better forgetful husband puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Judge: I'm sentencing you to an evening of grocery shopping. Don't forget the coffee. Husband: You don't have grounds for that.
- A wife message her husband : don't forget to bring me the dress and Carole says hi The husband: who is Carole.
The wife: just wanted to be sure you read the message. - I always adjust the seat and mirrors when I drive my husband's car so he doesn't forget he's married.
Forgetful Memory Jokes
Here is a list of funny forgetful memory jokes and even better forgetful memory puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow, that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.
- Memory problems are no joke Because you forget the punchline
- I have a great memory I can't remember forgetting a thing, ever!
- My ex girlfriend recently claimed she had a great memory She was definitely lying because it didn't take her long to forget me
- 3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends.
2. Every joke you hear is new.
3. I uh, I forget the third one. - Why did the bed not forget? Because of it's Memory Foam.
- If anyone tells you that your memory is bad just ignore it until you forget it about it.
- Your mother has an excellent memory. Because elephants never forget.
- My memory is like a stick of RAM It forgets everything by the time I go to sleep
- You're mother is so heavy When she sleeps on a memory foam mattress,
It forgets.
Silly Forgetful Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about forgetful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean careless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make forgetful pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'
'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.
As they are u**... for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.
"Here, try these on," he says.
"What? Why?" she says.
"Just put them on," he insists.
"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."
"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."
"Got it," she says, slipping off her p**... and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."
He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.
"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your p**...!"
"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."
Forget everything you learned in college...
'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'
'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office
"I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!" she sobbed.
"The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it never happened!"
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and sighs. "Not again...."
"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.
"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.
Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I'm making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
A british Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 wives go on a girls night out
On the way home they both need the toilet, so decide to stop at a graveyard, but they have nothing to wipe with.
The first takes off her p**... and uses them, while the other takes a wreath and uses that.
The next day, one of their husbands calls the other and says:
"No more girls nights out. My wife came home with no p**.... "
The other husband says:
"Thats nothing. Mine came home with a card in her crack that said 'from all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day.
If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde joke
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill
Let's Imax and c**...
I asked old Maud how she lost her husband. She told me her sad story…
"Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently needed to know, in order to save my Norman's life.
Tragically, I've never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.
I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was.
Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!"
That was my Norman! Always thinking of others."
An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.
He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"
When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good," she replies.
"And did you bring something home for me?"
"Something, did I forget?" she asks.
"The Italian girl I asked for," he replies jokingly.
"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."
A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.
He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...
Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."
The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.
'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'
