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Forget Jokes

160 forget jokes and hilarious forget puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about forget that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores why it is important not to forget things and why forgetting can be detrimental. Learn how to combat neglect and maintain relevancy with strategies to help you remember the “forget-me-nots” of life. Discover how to make the forgettable, unforgettably memorable.

Funniest Forget Short Jokes

Short forget jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The forget humour may include short forgot jokes also.

  1. 'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.'
    'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
  2. Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
    Because elephants never forget
  3. As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time" I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
  4. When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
  5. When I was a kid my mom used to say " Perdon my French" when she said any bad word. I'll never forget the day in school when my teacher ask if could speak French.
  6. Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
  7. If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day. If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
  8. I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'
  9. I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford. Doctor: That's not how adhd works.
    Me: But I keep losing my Focus.
  10. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless

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Forget One Liners

Which forget one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with forget? I can suggest the ones about ignore and remember.

  1. I'll never forget my dog's last words "You've taken too much acid."
  2. Girls treat me like God They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
  3. I'll never forget the words of my late Grandfather... "Sorry I'm late."
  4. What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class? Her algae bra
  5. Your mom is so fat Her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.
  6. How do you remember your wedding anniversary? Forget it once.
  7. Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
  8. I'll never forget my girlfriends last words. "You're that guy who's been following me."
  9. How many digits of pi do you know? - All of them... I just always forget the order!
  10. I will never forget my first time with a woman... I still have the receipt.
  11. How do you remember your wife's birthday? forget it once.
  12. My first wife, I'll never forget her… and I've tried.
  13. I'll never forget my son's 89th sentence Dad, you remember weird stuff
  14. Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget
  15. Why do elephants drink so much? To forget

Forget Forgive Jokes

Here is a list of funny forget forgive jokes and even better forget forgive puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Please forget my bad English I keep forgiving correct words
  • I think my girlfriend joined Anonymous She does not forgive, she does not forget and I'm always excepting her.
  • An elephant never forgets but with the power of Jesus, he can learn to forgive.

Forget Me Not Jokes

Here is a list of funny forget me not jokes and even better forget me not puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend dumped me on 9/11. That's one way of making sure I'll never forget.
    ^^^This ^^^isn't ^^^a ^^^joke, ^^^I'm ^^^actually ^^^broken ^^^inside.
  • Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont pay attention but call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget.
  • I'll never forget I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket.
    "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
  • I'll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket Daniel I'm sick of this bucket
  • I like to tell girls I have my own private jet But I always forget to mention that my mom owns the rest of the jacuzzi
  • It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. I swear if it happens again... I'll be ill
  • My parents treat me like a god they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them
  • I'll never forget what my grandpa said to me just before he died... "are you still holding the ladder?"
  • I'll never forget my Uncle's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
  • I'll never forget my dad's last words... He needed a blood transfusion but we didn't know his blood type... he kept telling me to "be positive", but it's really hard without him...
Forget joke, I'll never forget my dad's last words...

Forget joke, I'll never forget my dad's last words...

Charming Humor Forget Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about forget you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make forget pranks.

Forget everything you learned in college...

'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'
'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'

A police officer told me once: "We'll never forget 9/11".

I said: "Of course you won't, it's your phone number!"
​
\- Jimmy Carr

A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.

The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'

I'll never forget the day I met my wife.

We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.
I knew there and then, she was the one.

Those who forget...

Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Has this to anyone?

A drunk stumbles into a confessional. The priest hears him come in, but then he doesn't hear anything, so the priest knocks on the wall. The drunk says, "Forget it, buddy, there's no paper in this one, either! "

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat...

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her p**... and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your p**....'
Karen said, 'Exactly.
And if you don't change your smart-a**... attitude, you never will.'

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse."

A man stumbles across an old lamp.....

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

A women invites 3 military men to her house

During WW2 many families near military bases would invite service men over to their house for an evening to forget about the war, and to enjoy a home cooked meal. So a women calls the military base and says she would like to invite 3 men over but expresses that they CANNOT be Jews. Absolutely no Jews. The base commander says fine he will send 3 over on Sunday. She agreed and hanged up. On Sunday a jeep drives up and 3 black men got out of the vehicle. The women is in shock and asks the men is this a mistake? Surely this HAS to be a mistake! One of the men replies, "No ma'am, Captain Goldstein never makes a mistake."

A man wakes up with a lamp

A man wakes up with a lamp in a cave, he rubs the lamp and the genie says 'you have one wish left.' In his excitement he asked "I Wish I truly knew myself ".
The genie laughed, 'that was your first wish!'
'What was my second wish? '
'To forget. '

A doctor had s**......

A doctor had s**... with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have s**... with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go."
But, invariably, another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering...
"You're a veterinarian, you sick s**... fiend."

A caring son

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "

A woman visits her hypnotherapist

A weeping woman visits her hypnotherapist and laments, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and slept with another man... The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"
To which the hypnotherapist replies, "Jesus Christ, not again!"

I realized that haven't done the Hokey Pokey in over 10 years.

I guess when you get older, you just forget what it's all about.

I'll never forget my Grandfather's last words to me...

"no the top one is your iphone charger, the bottom one is my life support." or something like that.

Yo momma cooks so bad...

The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!

My father died on 9/11, I will never forget his last words

Allahu Akbar.
[Do keep in mind that this is not my joke, I just want to spread laughs]

Oh the memories

You can tell a woman that she is beautiful 1000 times and she will pay no mind to your comments. But tell her that she's fat, just one time, and she will never let you forget it.
Do you want to know why that is?
Because an elephant never forgets.

A plane just landed...

Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."
His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."
I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.

My Wife won't like it

One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very s**... and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

I changed my password to "incorrect"

So when I forget it my computer will tell me "your password is incorrect"

The first time I introduced a girlfriend to my grandpa.

"What's your name again?"
"Claudia."
"Oh *Claudia*. I'm sorry my dear, I won't forget it again. Claudia may I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you know the difference between s**... and breakfast?"
"...Um, no.?"
"Would you like to have breakfast sometime?"

Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill

Let's Imax and c**...

Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity...

No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes.

Hey girl, are you an overdue library book?

Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you

Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...

... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'
Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'
Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'
Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and
Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.
After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'

Losing game pieces s**......

Especially when it's hide and seek...
I'll never forget you, Brian..

I'm acutely dyslexic and often forget my route home. AMA!

Sorry, wrong bus!

People think Jesus was so great...

But all he did was give fish to a thousand people.
 
You forget that h**... made 6 million people toast.

What do you call m**... on a plane

Hi-jacking
Never forget

Why do engineers have to practice their social skills?

So they don't forget either of them.

A son says to his father...

A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"
The father replies "No son, you're autistic."

I was on this plane once...

Captain sets for take off and we are 35000 feet in the air, the captain then sets his mic down but forgets to turn it off.
The captain turns to the co-pilot and says "all I could use right now is a b**... and a cup of coffee".
The stewardess starts running from the back of the plane to tell the captain he still has his mic on.
A guy in the back of the plane screams out "hey hun, don't forget the coffee!".

Call a woman beautiful a hundred times...

Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember.
But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget.
Because elephants never forget.

I'll never forget my wife's last words

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

9/11 never forget

11/9 always regret

My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...

Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."
The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."

I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said,

"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.

"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.
"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" joked the dad.
I said, "No need. c**... doesn't smell."

Yo momma so heavy

She make memory foam forget!!!!!

I want to get married on September 11th...

That way I'll never forget my anniversary

If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, don't forget to bring something to sleep in...

... or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent

My girlfriend: "Did you forget to turn on the dishwasher?"

Me: *sipping coffe from a vase*
"No, why?"

Uncle came over for Christmas, and told me these wisdoms: "Forget the future, you cannot predict it. Forget the past, you cannot change it."

"And forget the present, I didn't get you one."

A man walks in for an interview

Interviewer: forget everything you learned in college. You won't be needing any of that here.
Man: good that I didn't go to college then.
Interviewer: sorry we can't hire you.

Wife: "Why are the dishes still in the sink?"

Husband: "Because if I let them soak for long enough, getting them clean will be effortless.
 
\**Wife rolls eyes*\*
 
Wife: "Oh forget it. I'll do it myself."
 
\**Wife goes to wash the dishes*\*
 
Husband (under his breath): "See? Effortless."

And verily, John said to the Lord, The world shall end with Trumpets?

God: No, I meant Trump/Pence.
John: Trumpets, got it.
God: No... ah, forget it.

Why is Alzheimer's better than Parkinson's?

Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.

Today is 9/11-NEVER FORGET

Oh, my bad---Too soon.

As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me...

g**... BOY BE CAREFUL THAT THING'S LOADED!

My grandpa died because we did not know his blood type

I will never forget his last words ...
Be positive

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are u**... for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.
"Here, try these on," he says.
"What? Why?" she says.
"Just put them on," he insists.
"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."
"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."
"Got it," she says, slipping off her p**... and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."
He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.
"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your p**...!"
"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Tell a girl she's beautiful one hundred times and she'll not believe you. Tell her once she's fat and she'll always remember

Because elephants never forget

Forget joke, Tell a girl she's beautiful one hundred times and she'll not believe you. Tell her once she's fat an

jokes about forget