The Best 72 Forget Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Forget jokes. There are some forget memorize jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these forget forgetful actor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Forget Jokes and Puns

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word...

...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.

Forget joke, When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word...

Forget everything you learned in college...

'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'

'But I never went to college.'

'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'

How do you remember your wife's birthday?

forget it once.


Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

A man stumbles across an old lamp.....

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

Forget joke, A man stumbles across an old lamp.....

How do you remember your wedding anniversary?

Forget it once.

I'll never forget

I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket.

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

A caring son

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "

"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "

"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "

"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "

"Under the wagon. "

I realized that haven't done the Hokey Pokey in over 10 years.

I guess when you get older, you just forget what it's all about.

You can explore forget remeber reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean forget amnesia dad jokes. There are also forget puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'll never forget the words of my late Grandfather...

"Sorry I'm late."

Yo momma cooks so bad...

The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!

My father died on 9/11, I will never forget his last words

Allahu Akbar.

[Do keep in mind that this is not my joke, I just want to spread laughs]

Oh the memories

You can tell a woman that she is beautiful 1000 times and she will pay no mind to your comments. But tell her that she's fat, just one time, and she will never let you forget it.

Do you want to know why that is?

Because an elephant never forgets.

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont pay attention but call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget.

Forget joke, Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont pay attention but call her fat once and she will never

A plane just landed...

Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."

His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."

I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.

What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class?

Her algae bra

The first time I introduced a girlfriend to my grandpa.

"What's your name again?"

"Claudia."

"Oh *Claudia*. I'm sorry my dear, I won't forget it again. Claudia may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you know the difference between sex and breakfast?"

"...Um, no.?"

"Would you like to have breakfast sometime?"


Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill

Let's Imax and climax

Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

You never forget

Losing game pieces sucks...

Especially when it's hide and seek...

I'll never forget you, Brian..

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Why do elephants drink so much?

To forget

I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'

People think Jesus was so great...

But all he did was give fish to a thousand people.

 

You forget that Hitler made 6 million people toast.

A son says to his father...

A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"

The father replies "No son, you're autistic."

I was on this plane once...

Captain sets for take off and we are 35000 feet in the air, the captain then sets his mic down but forgets to turn it off.

The captain turns to the co-pilot and says "all I could use right now is a blow job and a cup of coffee".

The stewardess starts running from the back of the plane to tell the captain he still has his mic on.

A guy in the back of the plane screams out "hey hun, don't forget the coffee!".

Call a woman beautiful a hundred times...

Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember.

But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget.

Because elephants never forget.

My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...

Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."

The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."

I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said,

"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day.

If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.

My parents treat me like a god

they forget I exist until they want me to do something for them

I will never forget my first time with a woman...

I still have the receipt.

I like to tell girls I have my own private jet

But I always forget to mention that my mom owns the rest of the jacuzzi

I'll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket

Daniel I'm sick of this bucket

My girlfriend dumped me on 9/11.

That's one way of making sure I'll never forget.

^^^This ^^^isn't ^^^a ^^^joke, ^^^I'm ^^^actually ^^^broken ^^^inside.

I'll never forget what my grandpa said to me just before he died...

"are you still holding the ladder?"

Uncle came over for Christmas, and told me these wisdoms: "Forget the future, you cannot predict it. Forget the past, you cannot change it."

"And forget the present, I didn't get you one."

A man walks in for an interview

Interviewer: forget everything you learned in college. You won't be needing any of that here.

Man: good that I didn't go to college then.

Interviewer: sorry we can't hire you.

I'll never forget my dog's last words

"You've taken too much acid."

Wife: "Why are the dishes still in the sink?"

Husband: "Because if I let them soak for long enough, getting them clean will be effortless.

 

\**Wife rolls eyes*\*

 

Wife: "Oh forget it. I'll do it myself."

 

\**Wife goes to wash the dishes*\*

 

Husband (under his breath): "See? Effortless."

Girls treat me like God

They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.

I'll never forget my dad's last words...

He needed a blood transfusion but we didn't know his blood type... he kept telling me to "be positive", but it's really hard without him...

Your mom is so fat

Her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.

I'll never forget my girlfriends last words.

"You're that guy who's been following me."

And verily, John said to the Lord, The world shall end with Trumpets?

God: No, I meant Trump/Pence.

John: Trumpets, got it.

God: No... ah, forget it.

How many digits of pi do you know? - All of them...

I just always forget the order!

As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me...

GODDAMMIT BOY BE CAREFUL THAT THING'S LOADED!

I'll never forget my Uncle's last words to me just before he died.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

My grandpa died because we did not know his blood type

I will never forget his last words ...

Be positive

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.

"Here, try these on," he says.

"What? Why?" she says.

"Just put them on," he insists.

"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."

"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."

"Got it," she says, slipping off her panties and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."

He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.

"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your panties!"

"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Tell a girl she's beautiful one hundred times and she'll not believe you. Tell her once she's fat and she'll always remember

Because elephants never forget

Never ever call a lady fat!

Because elephants don't forget.

I'll never forget how I met my wife at the zoo

From the moment I saw her I knew she was a keeper

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times..

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget

When I was a kid, my parents always said, "Excuse my French!" whenever they swore.

I'll never forget my first day at school when my teacher asked the class of any of us knew any French.

Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.

His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.

Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.

His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.

Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.

It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. I swear if it happens again...

I'll be ill

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office

"I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!" she sobbed.

"The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it never happened!"

The hypnotherapist shakes his head and sighs. "Not again...."

I'll never forget the last words my uncle said to me before he passed...

"Stop shaking the ladder, you little shit!"

birthday card I received from my brother...Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future, you can't predict it, forget about the present...

I didn't get you one.

Two tipsy women sneak into a graveyard to pee one night.

Once done, one uses her panties to wipe with and throws them away, the other uses a ribbon from a nearby wreath.


The next day one husband called the other: "My wife came home last night without any panties!"


"That's nothing!" The other replied, "My wife had a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

I'll never forget my son's 89th sentence

Dad, you remember weird stuff

I'll never forget the time I had to do PE in my underwear after forgetting my shorts.

It ended my teaching career there and then.

Ever walk into a room and completely forget why you were in there?

Yeah, that's why I'm no longer a fireman.

"A man with alzheimers tries to recall a joke-"

Wait, that's not how it starts

"A forgetful man tries to retell a story-"

No, no, that not it either

"A man-"

Aww, forget it

I'll never forget my granddad's last word to me just before he died

the words where: JIMMY ARE U STILL HOLDING THE LADDERS

You can tell a girl she's pretty 1000 times & she'll never remember it, but if you call her fat just once she'll always remember it.

Elephants never forget.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.

The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"

A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow..

Knock Knock




Who's there?



9/11



9/11 who?




You said you'd never forget.

An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.

He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"

When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good," she replies.

"And did you bring something home for me?"

"Something, did I forget?" she asks.

"The Italian girl I asked for," he replies jokingly.

"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the forget rember jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working forget forgetful piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes