Forest Jokes
138 forest jokes and hilarious forest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about forest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a good laugh with our selection of forest jokes! From jokes about playful forest animals to quips about forest rangers and the forest of Dean, we have something for everyone. Even saplings will be rolling on the ground with laughter! So take a break from the jungle and explore our collection of funny forest puns and jokes!
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Funniest Forest Short Jokes
Short forest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The forest humour may include short woods jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass. After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass... - If Linkin Park plays in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, in the end, does it even matter?
- How to anger lord of the rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
- Meatloaf (RIP) owned a private forest. At dawn every day, he would collect the condensation and drink it. I asked him if it tastes good. He said "dew outta trees ain't bad!"
- I'm gonna dress up as Forest gump tonight and go to the movies and make a a scene. Then I will have to apologize for ruining their Black Panther party
- A father and a daughter are walking in a dark forest The daughter says: Dad, I'm scared .
The father replies: Imagine how scared I'll be walking back all by myself - My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest.
- If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before.
- As a soldier running through the forest you don't need to be concerned about running into an adult tree.. It's the infantree that's deadly!
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Forest One Liners
Which forest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with forest? I can suggest the ones about tree planted and tree falls.
- How does a crazy person walk through the forest? He takes the psychopath.
- How does a dog camouflage itself in the forest? It barks.
My 4 yo made this up. - My boyfriend is like the forest floor Nuts and leaves
- It's unwise to cut down a forest on your own. It usually takes tree fellers or more.
- What does a mathematicion find in a forest? A natural log.
- How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest? Ewoks
- How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the pyschopath
- What do you call an agreement between two forests? A tree-ty!
- Why did ChatGPT get lost in the forest? Because it couldn't find the right algorithm!
- Bear with me please send a rescue team to the forest now!
- I like my women how I like my Christmas trees. Illegally taken in the forest.
- What generation is Forest Gump in? Gen A
- What do you call a forest with an extra tree? A fivest
- How do trees go number two in the forest? They drop a log!
- What is the poorest tree in the forest? The burr-oak tree.
Forest Fire Jokes
Here is a list of funny forest fire jokes and even better forest fire puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know why Ducks have big flat feet? So they can stomp out forest fires.
Do you know why elephants have big flat feet?
So they can stomp out flaming Ducks. - Best joke my dad ever told me (he wasn't good at telling jokes) Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To put out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To put out burning ducks. - I'd like to apologize to all my fellow Californians for the recent forest fires. Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- If you set a forest on fire It wood burn
- I started using tinder, then got a couple matches but... I started a forest fire
- What condition did the environmentalist wake up with every day after a local forest fire? Mourning Wood...
- Bear witness Like Smokey watching a forest fire.
- A fire burned one entire forest and only one elder rabbit survived,you know why? Because old rabbits die hard
- Simple recipe for making your own naturally-smoked, organic meats... Start a forest fire.
Forest Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny forest animal jokes and even better forest animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did all the animals of the forest laugh at Mowgli when he entered it for the first time? Because his tail is on the wrong side.
- Imagine that you are in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...
- When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Forest Gump Jokes
Here is a list of funny forest gump jokes and even better forest gump puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know what Jenny dies of at the end of Forest Gump? Poetic Justice.
Forest Ranger Jokes
Here is a list of funny forest ranger jokes and even better forest ranger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the ranger tell Smokey when the National Forest Service was de-funded? I can bear-ly handle all these fires alone.
- A guy goes into the forest to have some quiet time but is immediately pulled away by a park ranger He wasn't a happy camper.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Forest Jokes
What funny jokes about forest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tree stand jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make forest pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it...
...then my i**... logging business is a success.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a s**... forest
A little upset to find out he came back
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree!
The lumberjack laughed and said, And you will dialogue.
Bad News
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
An indian and a white man are walking through the woods...
and the white man is trying to learn how to hunt game from the indian. So the indian is moving quickly and quietly through the dense forest and the white man is fumbling loudly behind him. Suddenly, the indian stops short and presses his cheek up against a large tree. He then exclaims,
*"Moose come."*
The white man is baffled by how the indian discovered this and says, *"How do you know that?"*
Indian: *"Cheek sticky."*
A turtle walks into a bar
He says to the bartender 'I'd like a glass of water' The bartender gives,him the glass and the turtle goes out of the bar. That situation repeats 3 times and then the bartender thinks to himself 'I'll ask the turtle why does he need so much water'. The turtle comes in and again asks for a glass of water. The bartender asks him 'Why do you need so much water?' To what the turtle responds 'Cut the talking, there's a forest fire outside!'
Searching for Sasquatch
Two men are on a hunt through the forest looking for Sasquatch.
After days and days of searching and not even finding a footprint, they happen to run into an old native man.
They ask the man "Have you by any chance seen a Sasquatch around here?"
Confused, he replies "Sasquatch?"
They answer him "Sasquatch..you know; big, hairy, smells bad.."
"Oh!" he replies. "You mean squawsnatch!"
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
A young tree, curious about his lineage, asked an older tree, "Am I the son of a beech, or the son of a birch?"
The older tree replied, "I don't know, but your mom was the finest piece of ash in the forest!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...
...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.
"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.
"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.
"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.
They debated until the train came and hit them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear it...
...is he still wrong?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do?
So, you are walking around in a forest and see a girl lying on the floor, half n**... and clothes tattered. She is weeping heavily, and you can tell she has just been r**....
What do you do?
You check your map, because you have been walking in a circle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a little boy and a child m**... are walking though a forest in the middle of the night.
The little boy says,"I'm scared."
So the m**... says,"You're scared? I've gotta walk back alone!"
An atheist in the forest...
stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"
A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer.
She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."
He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... in Paris
A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a n**... man having s**... with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man r**... a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."
I was walking though a forest
With a young girl the other night and she said "I'm scared"
I said "Your scared, I've gotta walk back on my own"
For all of those Philosophy Majors out there
Philosophy Joke:
If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?
take a hike.
a man is walking through the forest with a little girl when it starts getting dark. the wind starts whistling through the trees and the girl squeezes the mans hand and says "mister I'm getting scared!" the man replied "you're scared? I have to walk out of these woods alone!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did You Hear About The o**... In The Forest?
People came in groves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oogaly Boogaly
A white man, Chinese man and a black man were in Africa doing research when they were captured by a tribe. First, they were tied to stakes. The chief then walked up to the white man and asked, death or oogaly boogaly. The white man thought, I don't want to die, I'll take oogaly boogaly. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest, within sight of the other two and all of the tribesmen r**... him. The chief then asked the Chinese man, death or oogaly boogaly? the Chinese man thought, remembered the screems of the white man, but didn't want to die. So he said, 'oogaly boogaly'. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest and all of the tribesmen r**... him. Then the chief walked up to the black man and asked 'death, or oogaly boogaly?' The black man said, naw man, just give me death.' The chief said 'OK, death, by oogaly boogaly!
Three hunters
Three hunters went into a forest and came upon three sets of tracks. The first hunter examined the first set and said "These are deer tracks", the second hunter examined the second set and said "These are bear tracks", the third hunter didn't say anything because he was hit by a train.
Elephants
How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.
What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks, of course.
A man is alone in a forest with no woman within earshot
Is everything he says still wrong?
If you had one bullet and there was a Lion, a bear and a jaguar. What do you do?
If you were in the middle of the forest and there was a lion, a bear and a jaguar. You had a gun with only one bullet. What do you do?
Shoot the lion, drink the beer and drive away in your jaguar. :)
... Obviously it's better told to someone than read.
A lumberjack applies for a job...
...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"
The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."
The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."
A man and a young boy are walking through a deep, dark forest...
The young boy tugs on the man's sleeve and says "I'm scared."
So the man says, "You think *you're* scared, I have to walk out of here alone."
When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?
"Hold on, let me get my bear rings."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ladies, beware of all the men who just want to get in bed with you
Unlike me, I'm fine on a table, in the forest, at the beach or whatever
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a man of high authority, s**... out of his mind strolling along in the forest?
Hiking
How to tell time in a forest
Here's how to tell time in a forest.
Try and face north, or make your best approximation as to which way is north. Stand straight and tall. Extend both arms so that they are parallel with the ground. Lower your left arm back down to your side. Bend your right arm so that your hand is against the left side of your chest. Now lower your chin to your chest and look at your watch.
What does your mom and a rain forest have in common?
If you look deep enough in the bush, you might find a cockatoo.
A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole
The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.
He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.
He throws in a big stick; still no sound
He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothing
Suddenly, a dog comes running by and jumps straight into the hole at alarming speed.
The man stares into the hole, dumbfounded, when another man walks by and asks "have you seen my dog?"
"Yeah" he replies, "he just jumped in this hole"
"That's funny" the other man replies, "I had him tied to a tree stump"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A homicidal r**... is holding hands with a little girl.
They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to return by myself".
Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest,
... when all of a sudden they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, "Hm, I didn't even know they had public transportation here."
[my gf's fav joke, literal translation from German]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While wandering through the woods....
I came upon a rabbit who said he could jump over the moon. So I shot him. Then I happened upon a deer who said he was faster than the speed of light. So I shot him. Then a bear appeared and said he was in the Russian space program. So I shot him.
Remember, only you can prevent forest liars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to make a f**... home in the forest
I'll call it "Mourning Wood"
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was rated "number 1 most likely to not m**... you in a cabin in a forest" in highschool.
I know, kind of a weird thing to be rated for but you won't find someone who disagrees.
A man and a little girl are walking through a dark forest.
"Sir! Sir! I'm scared!" "What do you think about me? I'm the one who's gonna have to walk back all alone."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Logan Paul go to the s**... forest?
To kill his career.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard what happened in the Japanese s**... forest
I'm appauled
Couple's initials carved on a tree is cute and all but
I think it's weird how many people bring knives on a date ... in a forest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are in a forest when, all of sudden, a venomous snake jumps and bites one of them in the groin.
His friend, desperate, calls 911.
"Help me! My friend got bitten by a snake!"
"Calm down, sir! First of all, you must find the location of the bite and s**... the poison out. Can you do that?"
"Gotcha."
The bitten friend asks: "So? What did they say?"
"They said you'll die, dude."
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it...
Then Scott Pruitt's environmental plan is working.
There are many already outstanding reasons not to leave one's automated cloning machine out in the forest...
...but the obvious bears repeating.
"Son, where did you learn to use an axe like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest"
"Don't you mean the Sahara Desert"
"Well sir, that's what they call it now"
Forestry.
Now there's a shady business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant !
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have s**....
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the c**... broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...
A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a b**... was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 20 years old girl returned to her home , looking Happy.
'Mom , look I got 10$ ! ' she exclaimed. Surprised , her mother asked ' honey , you had gone to the forest. how did you get this money ?'
' When I was roaming in the forest, a middle-aged man came to me and said that he would give me 10$ if I would climb a tree. '
Shocked, her mother replied ' Oh no dear , you don't understand . You are wearing a skirt and by climbing the tree, he wanted to see your p**....'
The daughter replied ' Don't worry mom , I am very clever . I knew this and so I removed my p**... before climbing the tree.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of t**...! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?!"
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
A joke I translated from Russian
A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Robin Hood then stabs the pauper with his sword,
"I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
An old joke.
Two hunters were lost in a forest.
One tells the other, I heard that if you fire three times in the air, that can help people to find you.
They try that once, then again an hour later but still no-one turned up.
The second hunter says I am not sure we should try that again.
The first hunter agrees, saying You're probably right, besides, we're almost out of arrows.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Red Riding Hood walks alone through the dark forest.
Suddenly she hears a rustling behind a thick bush.
She pushes the branches and bushes aside and suddenly the big bad wolf is sitting in front of her.
"Oh, bad wolf. Why do you have such big red eyes?"
"Get out of here. I'm p**...!"
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?
Because it will dialogue.
If you chop a tree down in the middle of the forest, but the tree doesn't understand why you chopped it down
Do you think it's stumped?
I met a person claiming to be the greatest lumberjack.
I asked "How do you know, you are the greatest"
Well, have you ever heard of the sahara forest ?
I replied you mean the Sahara desert ?
Well I guess they call it that now.
Two blondes are walking in forest searching for a Christmas tree
They both walk a long time but couldn't find a good one. Hour by hour passes but still none of them are good enough. It's already getting pitch dark. It's already midnight and finally one of them suddenly says "ugh, let's just pick one without decorations"
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it...
a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it.
Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.
Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Bonus #3: No more elephant jokes.
One more Russian one
2 guys are lost in the middle of siberian forest. One of them says "shoot. Maybe someone will hear us". So the guy shoots once, twice, thrice but no one came to help. His friend said shoot more and the guy replied "I can't. I'm out of arrows"
