Foreman Jokes
53 foreman jokes and hilarious foreman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about foreman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Foreman Short Jokes
Short foreman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The foreman humour may include short fireman jokes also.
- George Foreman named all his kids George Foreman. He even used the name when he had a little grill.
- Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights? That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.
- Quarry I was walking through a quarry…I said to the foreman, "That sure is a big rock!" "Boulder," he corrected me. So I stuck out my chest and shouted, "THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!"
- Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and floyd mayweather Jr in queue at the bank? Punchline
- "Hi, My name is John Foreman and I run a cabinet making business." John said counter-productively.
- The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me. Nobody expects the span is in position.
- Look out for Hugh's new kitchen range! My friend Hugh Jarrs has just endorsed a new range of kitchen equipment to compete with George Foreman.
Look out for the Hugh Jarrs Grill. - Why does the foreman keep reprimanding his welding employees? He likes to test their metal.
- I was looking for the reason the Foreman was yelling at me. Then suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
- Why did the coal mine foreman fire the hippy who showed up for work wearing this outasight tie die shirt? Outasight, out of mine.
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Foreman One Liners
Which foreman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with foreman? I can suggest the ones about chairman and supervisor.
- For sale. George Foreman grill set and Mohammad Ali dvds. Both boxed.
- George Foreman's daughter was found dead today Police are grilling suspects
- What do you call an interrogation of a barbecuer a George Foreman grill
- George foreman sells a grill, what does the iron shiek sell? Cast iron sheik skillets.
- What did the foreman say when a worker crashed his street paver? It's yo' asphalt
- Shamless self promotion makes my blood boil hotter than a George Foreman Grill ^TM
- What do you call a white guy surrounded by 15 Hispanic guys? Foreman.
Laughable Foreman Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about foreman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mailman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make foreman pranks.
A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...
...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site...
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, Your're in charge of sweeping, to the Irishman, You're in charge of shoveling, and to the Chinese guy, And you're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile.
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, Why didn't you sweep any of it? The Italian replies, I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him.
So then the foreman turn to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies, I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him.
The foreman is really ticked off now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from a closet and yells: SUPPLIES!
Tickle Me Elmo
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee.
He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
an Irish man was working on a building site...
...the foreman asked him to fetch a wheel barrow. A while later the Irish man returned with a wheel barrow in a wheel barrow.
The foreman said "I asked for a barrow why have you fetched two"
The Irish man replied "I needed something to carry it back in"
A day at the construction site
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.
Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.
The other workers nickname him "w**...".
Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got m**... and p**..., they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".
The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "m**..., Mack, p**..., Wac leave the w**... alone!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was in charge of offloading the...
...grain from the ships at the harbour. Unfortunately the grain was very moist and did not get s**... up by vacuum too easily.
He approached the foreman for some advice, who said: "If at first you don't s**... seed, try a drier grain."
So a man gets a job working as a highway stripe painter
The foreman gives the guy a paint brush and a fat bucket of paint and tells the dood where to paint and off the guy goes.
End of the first day the newbie comes back and tells the foreman he did 10 miles. "Outstanding!" The foreman says.
Second day newbie comes back to the shop at the end of the day and tells the foreman he's done 4 miles. 'Not impressive.' The foreman thinks.
End of the third day the newbie tells his foreman he did one mile. The foreman has to ask, "The first day you did 10 miles, the second day you did 4, and today you only accomplished one measly mile? What gives?"
"Well," The newbie says, "Every day the paint can gets farther and farther away.
New carpenter
It's a carpenter's first day on the job building a house. The foreman notices that he looks at each nail before driving it, and throws half of them away.
"Why are you throwing all those nails away?
"The head is on the wrong end."
"You idiot, don't throw those away! Those are for the other side of the house."
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.
The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while." Later when the foreman returns he sees Nothing's done. He says to the Italian "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" "I no gotta broom. You tella da guy he inna charge of a supplies, but he go an I could no finda him!" Then asks the Scot "Didn't I tell you to shovel?" "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. I canna find where the supplies man is aboot!" The foreman is really angry now and storms off looking for the Asian. Just then the Japanese guy springs out and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
Guy keeps calling off work on Mondays....
A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f-----g her."
The boss says, "You f--k your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not guilty
p**... went to trial for armed robbery.
After a long drawn out trial, the jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted p**.... "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
An Irish Lumberjack
A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.
The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.
"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.
Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"
A building firm hires a new Asian employee...
So the foreman tell the Asian man to go into a room and count the supplies. Having heard nothing for several hours, the foreman goes in to check the progress and can't find the man. So the Asian man jumps out from behind a shelf and yells "SUPPLIES!!"
Why did the Seven Dwarves fire Snow White as their Foreman at the mine?
They thought she was micromanaging them!
Laziest Of All
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.
I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you, he
announced. Will the laziest man please put his hand up?
Nine hands went up.
Why didn't you put your hand up? he asked the tenth man.
Too much trouble, came the reply.
A Man named McMurphy is accused of robbing a bank...
On the last day of his trial, the foreman of the jury stands up.
"Have you reached a verdict?" asked the judge.
"We have your honor..." replied the foreman. "Not guilty!"
"Excellent!" shouted McMurphy "Does that mean i get to keep the money?"
I was walking through a quarry...
and said to the foreman, "That's a big rock!"
"Boulder" he replied. So I puffed my chest out and shouted "THAT'S A BIG ROCK!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen have a bright idea...
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site. p**... says to Murphy,
"I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!"
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: "p**..., go home. You've gone mad."
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing is kit up to leave as well.
"Where do you think you're going?" asks the foreman.
"Well, I can't work in the friggin dark!" said Murphy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Your one and only job is to supply the miners"
The foreman told the asian man before leaving the job site.
Upon the foreman's return a week later he noticed one of the job site workers lackadaisically lounging in the sun.
"Hey Bob! How are ya? Why arent you workin boy?" said the foreman.
"Im too hungry to work. That c**... aint been around much. Been poppin up here and there but no food in sight"
The foreman continued further into the worksite and the responses were similar across the board.
Puzzled. The foreman turned the corner towards the work barracks when suddenly; out of no where the c**... jumped out from behind a barrel and yelled.
"Supplies!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Workers are building a brutally tall chimney...
When they are almost finished, a foreman runs to them short of breath and shouts:
We are in deep s**... guys, someone turned over my construction plans...
We were supposed to dig a well!!!
A dog is looking for work...
He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.
The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.
The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"
Three men applied to put up telephone poles.
The foreman sent them each out with a truck and 20 poles, telling them to come back after 8 hours.
The first man returns and says "I put up 12 poles."
The second man returns and says "I put up 15 poles."
The third man returns and says "I put up 3 poles."
"Three?" asks the foreman. "These two guys put up nearly thirty between them and you only put up three?"
"Yeah," the third man says, "But you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips...
So I got kicked out of KFC.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... & Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... says to Murphy, I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts, I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: p**..., go home. You've gone mad.
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where do you think you're going? asks the foreman.
Well, I can't work in the friggin dark! said Murphy.
A foreman of a factory was making his rounds inspecting how all of the workers were doing their jobs.
Well," he said to one blond worker, "I see you are doing a very diligent job stamping all of the boxes 'THIS SIDE UP'."
"Yes," the worker replied, eager to please, "and just to be extra sure I stamped the bottom also!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bunch of Russian labourers are building a fence
and one of them goes to the foreman and says "Foreman, I have a problem. I just opened this packet of nails and all the heads are on the wrong end."
"Idiot!" yells the foreman. "Those nails are for the other side of the fence!"
A lumberjack walks into the company office to get paid.
The secretary says, I have a check here for cutting down 236 trees this week.
The lumberjack replies, I actually cut down 237 trees.
Are you sure? , says the secretary, Your foreman counted 236 on the truck.
Sure, I'm sure, replies the lumberjack. I kept a log .
A rookie carpenter is on his first day of a new job...
The foreman greets him at the job site and tells him his first task will be to nail some sheathing on a roof. The rookie grabs a hammer and nails and gets to work.
The foreman watches the rookie work for a while, and when he's finished he calls him over. The foreman says, "I think your nickname in this jobsite will be 'lightning'." The rookies face lit up, and he asked, "Why's that? Am I faster than everybody else?"
The foreman shakes his head and says, "No, it's because you never strike twice in the same place ."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irishman goes for a labouring job on a building site
The foreman thinks to himself "I'll catch this thick p**... out" and asks the Irishman "what's the difference between a joist and a girder?"
The Irishman thinks for a second and replies "well, you see sir, Joyce wrote Ulysses while Goethe wrote Faust".
\>note, this works best as an o**... joke as u may have gathered.
Elmo gone wrong…
A new hire at Hasbro was assigned to quality control on the Tickle Me Elmo line.
After an hour, the line foreman saw the line grind to a stop. Frustrated workers are yelling, stepping away from the machines, and angrily looking towards the end of the line.
There is the new hire, furiously working with needle and thread, empty boxes and plush Elmos falling around her. The foreman goes over to see what the problem is, and finds a stack of red felt pieces and a bucket of marbles.
No, no!! I told you to give each Elmo two *test tickles!!*
