Gather Around for Heartwarming Foreigner Jokes and Uplifting Humor
If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...
Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?
two foreigners in america are applying for citizenship
They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.
>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.
several hours later he returns.
>Guy #2: well? did you get him?
>Guy #1: no, The line for that was even longer than the one here.
A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.
Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England . One of the women replies No idiot. Wales!!!!
The Foreigner is taken aback. I'm sorry, let me start over he says. Excuse me. Do you two whales happen to be from England?
Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...
When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.
"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.
Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.
"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.
Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.
A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."
The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"
A Colt 1911 and a Glock walks into a bar...
The 1911 says to the Glock: "Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"
The Glock says "You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"
From a friend of mine who's a gun enthusiast.
A foreigner asked an Indian man
"Why Indian Women have Red
Dot on their forehead ?"
Indian man replied,
"Because they Record everything.."
A homeless man was urinating beside a car
A man was urinating beside a car, when a foreigner spots him
He comes up to him and confronts the homeless man in broken English
Foreigner: "Wouldn't the police hold you?"
Homeless man: "No, we have to hold it ourself"
What do you call a fight between a foreigner and a p**...?
Alien vs predator
What is Donald Trump's least favorite band
Foreigner
What do you call a smart person in America?
A foreigner.
What is President Trump's least favorite rock band?
Foreigner.
You can explore foreigner dominican reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean foreigner fransisco dad jokes. There are also foreigner puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Foreigner
A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink ans sees an attractive woman at the end of the bar. He tells the bartender that he wants to buy that woman a drink.
Bartender says "she's a Lesbian you know"
Man insists and the bartender put a drink down in front of her.
Man waits 5 minutes, and walks up to her asks
"so what part of Lesbia are you from?"
A concert promoter walks into a bar
A concert promoter walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Now that they are easing the Covid restrictions have you been able to plan any big events?" the bartender asks. "Well, we're planning a Foreigner reunion concert for later this summer. But we're still going to require mandatory temperature checks for everyone that enters the venue," the promoter says. "If you're hot-blooded, they'll check it and see."
A foreigner goes to a bank in Switzerland...
The teller asks the foreigner: "Would you like to make a deposit?"
The foreign man replies: "Yes I would."
The teller: "How much would you like to deposit?"
The man leans in and whispers: "Three million dollars..."
The teller: "Oh you can speak up. Being poor is no reason to be ashamed in Switzerland."
Foreigners s**......
They blatantly disregard the "i before e except after c" rule.
Foreigner??
I can barely fit three!!
The Art of the Deal
A poor city man is out in the streets attempting to sell something on President's Day. He goes up to a foreigner and says:
"Hey there! Are you looking for a rare portrait of Washington on his birthday? I can hook you up. It's even got the signature of the Secretary of the Treasury on it, so you know it's authentic!"
"Wow, really? How much?"
"$5 a piece."
"I'll take 20!"
Needless to say, he came in with a Washington, and left with a Franklin.
A foreigner was walking around Italy
When suddenly a thief grabbed her purse and started running away
The woman shouted "Hey! It's my purse!"
The thief shouted back "It's my job!"
A foreigner is talking to his friend in India.
He says, "Wow! This is a cool country! Not like my boring state. This is not my state."
And an Indian guy looks to him and says, "Namaste."
What do you call a karen in Asia?
A foreigner
What do you call it when a foreigner kidnaps your son?
An alien abduction.
What's the best thing about living in Ethiopia as a foreigner?
Getting refunds on every appliance and tool with a lifetime guarantee.
As a foreigner, for years, I didn't understand why some Americans and British people often use "there" and "their" interchangeably...
...then I learned that they have identical pronunciation.
Foreigner? Why not fist her?
Badoom TSSSSssT!
(Say it out loud)
What did the Indian say to the nosy foreigner?
"This is "naan" of your business." Sorry if you didn't laugh.
TIFU by insulting a one-armed foreigner visiting my town.
I called him a tourist.
Joke I heard while in Hungary
Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.
"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.
Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug.
The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German. Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with the officers.
"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to the other.
"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him anywhere."
Taiwan funny video RAP about "Foreigner" from 911
Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner?
Because they will always steal the green cards.
Did you hear that the lead singer of Foreigner was killed in an attractive gang member?
Yeah, he was Hot Blooded
Another Irish Joke
All these Irish jokes reminded me of one of my favorites:
A Catholic foreigner is walking down a street at night in Ireland when a man grabs him and holds a knife to his neck. The assailant yells,
"Are ye Protestant er Catholic?"
Terrified, the man thinks to himself, *if lie and tell him I'm Protestant, he may very well be Catholic. But if I tell the truth and say I'm Catholic, there's a large chance he'll be Protestant!*
So the man says, "Jewish"
The assailant grins and says "Lordy! I'm the luckiest Palestinian in all of Ireland!"
