Hilarious Fun Foreign Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only a r**... would think the violation of a light socket by a foreign object is a matter to make jokes about.
So a teacher asks his class the question...
"What's your opinion on donating food to foreign countries?" The African student says, "What's food?" The Indian student says, "What's donating?" The American student says, " What's foreign countries?" And the Chinese student says, "What's my opinion?"
At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia...
...they served us nothing.
Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant
Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)
For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.
2 Big Old Gals Were Sitting In A Bar
A man heard them talking and noticed a foreign accent. He asked "are you ladies from Ireland?"
"WALES!!" they both replied
"Oh I'm so sorry!.... Are you two Whales from Ireland???"
Foreign s**...
A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .
I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia...
[Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union]
Have you tried Stalin bacon before?
*I'm not sure.. I don't think so...*
Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.
Down with the metric system
No more foreign rulers!
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
Three foreign actors applying for the part of an angry man are asked to call out their numbers. First one goes "Me first actor", second one goes "Me second actor". The third one smashes all furniture and goes...
"method actor"
A woman decides to call her friend in a foreign language while waiting in line at a grocery store.
When she finishes, a racist American man gets annoyed.
The man says, "You have to speak English in God's forsaken land of America! If you want to speak Spanish, go back to Mexico!"
The woman says, "I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England."
You can explore foreign immigrants reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean foreign tourists dad jokes. There are also foreign puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard.
The exam the next morning s**....
So a foreign exchange student asks me:
"Is the word "ee-ther" or "eye-ther?"
I told them it was either.
A dog says to the other, Woof! The other replies, Moo! The first dog is perplexed.
He says, Moo? Why did you say, 'Moo?'
The other dog answers, I'm trying to learn a foreign language.
What's the best way to get a foreign dog to behave?
A treaty.
Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world.
Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...
The "American Dream" was discussed in class the other day...
... the professor turned to the German foreign exchange student and asked if they had anything like that in Germany to which he responded,
"We did, but nobody liked it."
If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...
Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?
two foreigners in america are applying for citizenship
They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.
>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.
several hours later he returns.
>Guy #2: well? did you get him?
>Guy #1: no, The line for that was even longer than the one here.
I before E
Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.
TIL babies cry in accents
I also learned that going around making foreign babies cry is apparently looked down upon
What's the difference between Donald Trump and my passport?
The passport has more foreign policy experience.
So theres a rich arabian prince driving through a foreign country and he's passing through some farmland and sees a farmer leaning on a post so he decides to stop and have a chat.
Is this your land? He asks the farmer. Yep, from that post down to the river. Responds the farmer. The prince smiles and says, on my land i can get in my car and drive the whole day and not see the other side! And the farmer says:
Yeah i had a car like that once.
My new neighbors are from a foreign country and refused to eat the yogurt I offered them.
Pretty sure it's a cultural thing.
A man stucks in a traffic jam in US
He sees a foreign man is coming towards him. Foreign man comes and says:
– Terrorists captured Trump, we are collecting donations. If $10.000.000 hasn't given in 1 hour, they will burn him with gasoline.
– How much people donate usually?
– Around 5 gallons.
My dad would swear and then say, "Excuse my French"
One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand.
I like my women how I like my natural resources...
Foreign and untapped
Two students and a teacher want to have s**... with foreign exchange students.
One student goes for the French student, and the whole time she screams, "Oui! Oui! Oui!"
The other student gets with a Spanish student, and she screams, "Sí! Sí! Sí!"
The teacher locks a German student in his office, the whole time she screams, "Nein! Nein! Nein!" He replies, "Really? I could have sworn you were only eight years old."
I before E, except after C.
We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.
Who is a "d**..."
While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.
Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "d**..." as it was completely clear.
One student persisted.
And got the answer - the dictionary stated:
"d**..." - the person who looks up for the word "d**..." in a dictionary.
Our joy was limitless.
Brits
They drive a German Car
They go to Irish Pubz
To drink Belgium beer
They get a Chinese Takeaway on the way back
They sit on Swedish furniture
They watch American films
On a Japanese TV
Most of all though they are suspicious of all things foreign
Courtesy of Rick Wakemam who I'm doing lighting for tonight. (super chill guy btw)
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them.
The mother mouse goes, "WOOF WOOF!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
Why doesn't the US use the metric system?
Because they can't stand foreign rulers.
I see there's a popular trend of translating foreign jokes in the sub, so here's a one from Hebrew.
What do you call 10 Moroccan Jews on a roof top?
An alarm system.
A man meets a foreign girl, they flirt with each other, and end up sleeping with each other.
After the man came, he asked her 'you finish'?
She shook her head.
Dutifully the men got back to work, and after another round of l**... he asked her 'you finish?'
The girl shook her head again.
The man barely had any energy left, but continued the l**... nonetheless. In the end he collapses on the bed and asks again 'you finish?'
The girl shakes her head and replies 'No, I'm Swedish'.
A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.
The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.
The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.
The Russian then says: Well, we do something simmilar, we use Ladas for travelling inside the motherland, and tanks everywhere else.
Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific f**... of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...
So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs
While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir
I was given a very expensive looking camera as a gift today.
They were foreign tourists, so I didn't understand the rest, but it was still a nice gesture.
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now"
Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
All the rich idiots in my town drive BMWs.
It's the only foreign car they can spell.
Putin lands in a foreign country and approaches the immigration desk
The border official reads through his passport and asks: "Occupation?"
Putin: "No, just visiting."
A foreign family is about to travel to america
The parents told the kids to say bye to the friends they will miss. The older son then threw himself down a flight of stairs, in the hospital, when he was asked why he did it, he said
"Just saying goodbye to free healthcare"
Mother Russia
In Soviet Russia, if you arrive to work late, you're shot for being lazy and leeching off the work of your peers.
If you arrive to work early, you are shot for trying to show up the work of peers and appear better than them.
If you arrive to work on time, you are shot for having a foreign watch.
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
What do soldiers that go on foreign brothels get?
PTSTDs
When the curator of The British Museum was asked how they felt about exotic & foreign art exhibitions, he replied...
We could take them or leave them
What do you call 2 people from different countries having s**...?
Foreign Affairs
I before e
Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
I don't like the word xenophobia...
It sounds so foreign
A supposedly true story
One day, in Great Britain, two Muslim schoolgirls were chatting away to each other in a foreign language on a public bus. The man sitting in front of them turned around and said, "This is England. Speak English." The woman in front of him turned around and said, "Actually, this is Wales and they're speaking Welsh."
Cat Attack
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "Bark!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
Yo mama so fat…
That when she went to [insert foreign country] she became [home country]'s largest export
A Finnish joke from the Cold War
During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.
He replied first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets .
The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.
We are civilized people. Work comes before pleasure , the general replied.
Why will the American people never convert to the metric system?
Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.
A man is walking through his local mall
and notices a Mexican book store. He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"
The clerk replies, "F*c**... you, get out, stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"
A foreigner asked an Indian man
"Why Indian Women have Red
Dot on their forehead ?"
Indian man replied,
"Because they Record everything.."
My grandfather gave me the Luger p**... he took from a German soldier he shot
I had no idea that at his advanced age, he was shooting people in foreign countries and smuggling weapons.
King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did.
Because the Queen could go any distance but the King can only move one space at a time.
A little old man starts having trouble hearing and goes to the doctor
Doc, I'm having problems hearing!"
The doc says "Let's check you out.
As he looks into the man's ear with his otoscope he says "It looks like there is some sort of foreign object in here.
The doc takes his tweezers and pulls it out.
It's a suppository, the doc explains.
The old man takes a look at the suppository, looks back at the doctor, and says "Can I use your phone? I need to tell the wife I know where I put that hearing aid!"
Chuck Norris' plane was hijacked by terrorists and landed at a foreign country for ransom
The demand was to pay $5,000,000 within 24 hours, otherwise Chuck Norris would behead the terrorists.
