Foreign Country Jokes
43 foreign country jokes and hilarious foreign country puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about foreign country that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Foreign Country Short Jokes
Short foreign country jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The foreign country humour may include short foreigner jokes also.
- Putin lands in a foreign country and approaches the immigration desk The border official reads through his passport and asks: "Occupation?"
Putin: "No, just visiting." - Yo mama so fat… That when she went to [insert foreign country] she became [home country]'s largest export
- At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia... ...they served us nothing.
- My new neighbors are from a foreign country and refused to eat the yogurt I offered them. Pretty sure it's a cultural thing.
- Trump finally addressed the Russian claims! He was quoted "I did not have foreign relations with that country."
- Chuck Norris' plane was hijacked by terrorists and landed at a foreign country for ransom The demand was to pay $5,000,000 within 24 hours, otherwise Chuck Norris would behead the terrorists.
- Bananas are like foreign-country workers. They're best yellow, but a lot cheaper if you buy the black.
- A foreigner is talking to his friend in India. He says, "Wow! This is a cool country! Not like my boring state. This is not my state."
And an Indian guy looks to him and says, "Namaste." - A guy named Charles lived in a foreign country for many many years. When he came back, everyone started calling him "Harles". Why?
Because long time, no c.. - Most countries can boast that their intelligence agencies installed spies in foreign countries. The Russians can boast that they installed a president.
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Foreign Country One Liners
Which foreign country one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with foreign country? I can suggest the ones about foreign language and overseas.
- Were you born in another country? Because I'd like to put foreign you.
- What do you call 2 people from different countries having s**...? Foreign Affairs
Foreign Country Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about foreign country you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean foreign car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make foreign country pranks.
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.
"Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush.
Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
So a teacher asks his class the question...
"What's your opinion on donating food to foreign countries?" The African student says, "What's food?" The Indian student says, "What's donating?" The American student says, " What's foreign countries?" And the Chinese student says, "What's my opinion?"
Two missionaries...
Were in a foreign country, when their captured by a group of cannibal. So the cannibals put the missionaries in a big cauldron filled with water over a fire to boil. The two missionaries are sitting in the cauldron when one of them bursts out laughing. The other one looks at him and says " look, we're about to be eaten, due to the seismic activity I've noticed there's going to be a massive earthquake here in about a day, and with the tidal movements a tidial wave will hit shortly after the earthquake, if we get somehow manage to get out of this our boss will skin us. But we're going to be boiled to death before any of that can happen. So I submit to you this is not the time to laugh." The other m**... smiles and says giggling " I peed in the soup."
Olympics / opening ceremony jokes
Credit where credit's due - I got these from Sickipedia. I'm brand new here but I gather these would be appreciated...
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I certainly enjoyed the opening ceremony which displayed the history of the early 20th century Britain.
I can't wait until the games are held in Germany.
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So in the Olympic Opening Ceremony, British athletes can walk behind a bloke carrying the Union Jack and everyone cheers...
...But when the BNP do it it's frowned upon.
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My mate asked me: "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?"
After thinking for a few minutes, I came up with an answer:
"Chinese," I replied.
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I'm entering the m**... Tournament in the Olympics this year.
Very stiff competition though.
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As I watched the woman's football today, my wife proudly quipped, "This just shows you how far the Olympics have come, women excelling at men's sports. What do you think this means?"
I don't think "22 blokes are forced to get a take-away tonight" was the answer she was looking for.
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Well done Danny Boyle. Nothing says "London" better than youths setting fire to stuff.
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7 years the London Olympics have been in the making.
Never has it taken so long for a large number of foreigners to enter the country.
A recent survey in the UK asked the following question:
Are there too many foreigners in this country now?
18% answered: **YES**
82% answered **لا، ليس الكثير**
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
I told my Chinese buddy that I bought very cheap cigarettes that were shipped in from a foreign country.
"Is that Regal?", he asked.
A man once became addicted to c**... from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world.
Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line.
a soldier finds himself outside after night fall
A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone in who wasn't a citizen of the United States. The solider suggested that the guard ask him a few questions to prove in nationally. The guard then replied, "OK, sing the national anthem." The solider then sang the national anthem just as he has heard it at countless sporting events and county fairs. When he finished the guard said, "OK, now sing the second verse." The solider yelled, "I don't know the second verse!" to which the guard said,"you're obviously American, c'mon in."
Trump's statement regarding China
Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors all across the country will be plastered with red notices and the empty streets will reek of lingering gunpowder. The people, with nothing to do will turn to day-long drinking and gambling. Children will roam the streets begging for money. So sad."
China foreign ministry: "That's Chinese New Year, d**...."
Donald Trump has just signed ANOTHER executive order
it's about foreign birds of prey. the order states that any bird, specifically eagles, who have some sort of illness like flu will not be allowed to enter the country.
Trump has labelled them -
ILL EAGLE IMMIGRANTS
It was geography class in Soviet Russia...
and little Dmitri asked, 'Why don't we ever get tested on the capitals of foreign countries?'
The teacher replied, 'Because we hate capital-lists, Dmitri.'
People are worried about foreigners in this country.
I've done my own research and there's so many more in other countries.
So theres a rich arabian prince driving through a foreign country and he's passing through some farmland and sees a farmer leaning on a post so he decides to stop and have a chat.
Is this your land? He asks the farmer. Yep, from that post down to the river. Responds the farmer. The prince smiles and says, on my land i can get in my car and drive the whole day and not see the other side! And the farmer says:
Yeah i had a car like that once.
a Dictator, Basketball player and a Reality TV all meet in a foreign Country
there has to be joke here, what ya got?
What do Arnold Schwarzenegger and Adolf h**... have in common?
They are both politicians, their name starts with A, they are from Austria, and are seen as national hero's in a foreign country.
Why would America send the second and third power of 2 to poor and struggling countries?
They need foreign aid
Did you hear about the foreign government with agents in our country who are manipulating the masses?
The Vatican has people everywhere.
We can't just let a foreign country send people here to change our ways, not pay taxes and r**... our children!
The Vatican has to be stopped.
An Irishman and an Englishman find a lamp
Upon rubbing it a genie pops out and says For freeing me, I will grant you each one wish!"
The Englishman says "I love my country, but it's being ruined by foreigners. I wish a wall to be built around it so that no one else can get in."
The genie says, "Done. And you, Irishman?"
The Irishman looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Tell me more about this wall."
The genie responds, "It is twenty miles tall, a hundred feet thick and made of granite. Nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it with water."
What do you call a wordplay that's so good it gets told everywhere, even in foreign country's?
a pundemic
A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.
The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.
The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.
The Russian then says: Well, we do something simmilar, we use Ladas for travelling inside the motherland, and tanks everywhere else.
While on a vacation in a foreign country, a man begins to drown in a lake
Suddenly, he sees two people walking by. He realises that he doesn't know the language.
"Help! Help!" he screams in English, to no reaction.
"Hilfe! Hilfe", he tries German. No reaction either.
" Socorro! Socorro!" he tries Spanish.
The people do nothing, so he drowns. As both passerby are walking away, one turns to another and says: "What do you think... should we learn another language?"
"Why? This guy spoke three languages and it didn't help him a bit"
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs
While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir
How to impress women
A guy walks into a bar carrying a couple of axes and orders a beer. "What've ya got there?" the bartender asks. "Oh, these are some of my new axes I bought online," the guy says. "I order them in from countries overseas. I just love how they smell." "Well, that's all fine and good, I guess. But why did you bring them to the bar?" the bartender asks. "To be honest I was hoping to meet women," the guy replies. "I hear they love foreign axe scents."
My grandfather gave me the Luger p**... he took from a German soldier he shot
I had no idea that at his advanced age, he was shooting people in foreign countries and smuggling weapons.