The Best 58 Forehead Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Forehead jokes. There are some forehead scowl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these forehead your forehead is so big puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Forehead Jokes and Puns

My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

There was this girl I liked in kindergarten..

One day it was nap time and I gained enough nerve to sleep next to her. She didn't do anything. The next day at nap time I decided to kiss her on the forehead and sleep under her blanket. Again, she didn't do anything The next day at nap time I put my ball sack on her face. Let's just say that's the end of my teaching career.

Re-post but one of my all time favorites (somewhat altered)

One day a father and his two daughters, Petal and Fridge, were having a picnic. Petal curiously asks her father; "Daddy, why is my name Petal?" to which he replies; "Well honey on the day you were born a petal from a beautiful flower slowly fell through the air and landed right on your forehead. Your mother and I thought the name fit you perfectly." Then Fridge asks; "BRAW WAW AAWWW OOWWW AHH AAWA?"

Mood ring

Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day.

When she's in a good mood it turns green.

When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead.

jokes about forehead

Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead?

I told her to make up her mind.

*


My girlfriend got me a mood ring the other day but it didn't come with instructions. So far we know that if I'm in a good mood, it's green...

and if I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on her forehead.

A golfer and heaven

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"

The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?

Forehead joke, A golfer and heaven

My wife got me a mood ring...

When I'm in a good mood it turns blue.

When I'm angry it leaves a huge red mark on her forehead.

My wife has this mood ring...

It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead.

A "your mama joke for the books.

Your mama is so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind.

A blonde is dying

A blonde lady walks into her Dr's office and says 'oh Doctor, I'm dying, I'm dying. The Dr says 'oh my, what's the problem?' She taps her forehead and says 'it hurts here'. She taps her neck and says 'it hurts here', she taps her chest and says 'it hurts here', she taps her stomach and says 'it hurts here'. 'I hurt everywhere Dr, I'm dying'.

The doctor exams her and says 'lady, you've got a broken finger!'.

You can explore forehead lips reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean forehead head dad jokes. There are also forehead puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Indian lady on the train.

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.

Pavlov was drinking in a bar

and chatting with some fellow scientists. The time flew by, and before he knew it the barman loudly rang the bell signalling last orders.

Pavlov clapped a hand to his forehead, 'Oh crap!' he cried. 'I forgot to feed the dog!'

Mood ring

I got my wife a mood ring. When she's in a good mood it turns a beautiful shade of blue. When she's in a bad mood it leaves an ugly red mark on my forehead.

an I.Q too high to buy

A scientist tells a pharmacist, Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.

Do you mean aspirin? asks the pharmacist.

The scientist slaps his forehead. That's it! he says. I can never 
remember the name.

I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead.

Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.

Forehead joke, I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead.

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring...

When she was in a good mood, it turned blue.

When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead...

My friend was putting lipstick on her forehead

She said she was trying to make-up her mind

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of Jerry Seinfeld.

A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,

"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of Jerry's scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,

"What's the deal with hairline food?"


What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight?

Mariah Carey's mouth.

How do you blow up an Indian ?

Press the red button on their forehead.

Please pray for my wife....

A spider bit her on the forehead and she is now in the E.R. They said she almost died.
Lucky for her, I was near and hit the spider as hard as I could with a bat right when it bit her.

What's the worst part of eating rabbit?

Their little legs kicking you in the forehead.

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...

Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

I met a man with a nose on his forehead the other day...

He said it gave him a heightened sense of smell.

I was on a first date last night.

We were at a bar and when i looked at her i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I started to go weak at the knees and sweat all over my forehead.

It was only then i realised, that i drugged the wrong drink.

Forehead joke, I was on a first date last night.

Forehead wrinkles.

They're making headlines.

A father named his sons Rose and Fridge

One day Rose asked his dad:- why did you call me like that? Her father answered that when she was born a rose petal fell on her forehead. Then fridge came and asked his father: BLUAEHHUEHUEHAWHAW?

My Wife decided to buy me a mood ring...

...to gauge my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns blue and when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark in her forehead.


There were 3 siblings...

The first kid, Rose, comes to their mom:

Mommy, why my name is Rose?

Mom: Because when you were born, a little rose landed in your forehead...

The second one, Plumy:

And why my name is Plumy, mommy?

Mom: Because when you were born a lil plume landed in your forehead...

Then comes Bricky:

AAAHHNSBALDU BRADUBLA BRUBDULO AHUE?

A guy sits next to a blind man in a bar.

"have you always been blind" he asked.
"oh no, i had a really bad fever one day. It was so bad that you could cook eggs on my forehead."
"So the fever made you go blind?"
"no the eggs went into my eyes."

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little rose petal fell on your forehead, it was such a beautiful moment."

Child 2: "And why did you name me Lily?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little Lily fluttered onto your forehead"

Child 3: ADGHRSSDF!!! MMHGJGD!!

Dad: "Shut up Boulder!"

I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.

He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.

After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.

It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!

A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"

Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"

The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"

"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."

The youngest daughter then approached.

"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"

"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.


Yo mama so fugly

Tears climb up her forehead and down the back of her head.

"Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."Β 
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"Β 
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."Β 
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"Β 

I tried to be romantic and gave my wife a certificate for our anniversary

I wrote that she can have great sex anyway she wants it.
She jumped up kissed me on the forehead and said she'll be back in a couple of hours.

I finally got the attention of my crush

But... I'm not sure if I still want that date...

Like really she overreacted like she's one of the crazy ones! She even called the police. I just asked for her number and brought her a cup of her favorite coffee!

I mean I would LOVE for someone to wake me up with coffee, a kiss to my forehead and live music in my living room.

I bought my wife a mood ring.

Found out if she's in a good mood it turns green.

If she's in a bad mood it leaves big red circles on my forehead.

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.

Patient: Doc, it hurts when I touch here (taps forehead), here (taps nose), here (taps chin), pretty much everywhere.

Doctor: You have a broken finger.

It is WWI. The Germans and the Italians are fighting in trenches.

The Germans have a plan. Since almost all Italians are named Mario, a German would yell, "Hey, Mario!" An unfortunate Mario would pop his head up with "si?" and a German sniper would put a bullet into his forehead. Every day, a few Italians died with "Hey Mario!" "Si?" Boom!

One day, the Italians decide to reciprocate. One of them yells, "Hey-a, Fritz!" No reply. "Fritz!" Nothing. "Hey-a, Fritz!" "Is that you, Mario?" "Si!" Boom!

Yo mama so fat,

When she stubs her toe, her forehead ripples.

Doctor to patient with gash on forehead: "What was the last thing you heard before the helicopter rotor hit you?"

"Someone shouting 'Duck, duck go!'"

Warning.

Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.

And came home with two cases of beer.

John came to school with a scar on his forehead

Tom asked him what do you have on your face?
John answered that it was a scar and it was his fathers fault. John explained that he hit a nail with his fist, and his father told him that he really should use his head sometimes.

An ugly son asks his Dad Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Because when she was coming out of the hospital, a rose fell from the sky and landed on her forehead.

US: Same for Penny?

Dad: Yup. A penny just fell onto her little head.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

The pimple on my forehead is enormous.

It practically has its own zit code.

A child walks up to their parents and asks

A child walks up to their parents and asks hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?

The parents smile and reply, When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead . The child satisfied with the answer walked away.

The younger sibling came up and asked the same question.

Darling, we named you Droplet because when you got you out of a hospital, a rain drop fell on you head. Hence, Droplet , the parents replied.

Gharwaalalalaajahaha!!!! said the youngest child.
Oh shut up Refrigerator, don't be mean! the father yelled

A joke my 9 year old made up: How do you get poop on your sister's forehead?

With dad's toothbrush

A Burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead.

Our three cats did the rest.

A Great Birthday Idea

A guy doesn't know what to get his wife for her birthday, so he makes up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. He thinks she will be thrilled.

He gives it to her and asks if she likes it.

"Oh yes!" She says as she jumps up, thanks him, kisses him on the forehead, and runs out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!"

Jimmy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."



The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
Jimmy says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. When I touch my knee it hurts! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

Jimmy was diagnosed with a broken index finger later that day.

Apple has announced new hardware that mounts directly to your forehead and lets you surf the internet using augmented reality glasses.

It's called the iBrowser

So if a man who is bald on the forehead is said to be smart, and a man who is bald on the top of his head is said to have been thinking too much, what do you call a man who is bald on the forehead AND the top of his head?

He thinks he's smart.

When I was younger, I jammed a scrabble tile into my nerf gun and shot my brother at close range in the forehead, killing him instantly.

I didn't mean to kill him though, I thought it was a blank.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

To make up her mind.

A man goes to the doctor

He presses gently on his own knee. "Doc, I gotta weird problem. It really hurts when I press here. But that's not all..."

He presses a spot on his forehead. "...It also hurts when I press here."

Then he presses his opposite elbow. "AND it hurts when I press here. What's wrong with me?"



The doctor thinks a second and says "It appears you have a broken finger."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the forehead huge forehead jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working forehead big forehead piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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