Ford Jokes

175 ford jokes and hilarious ford puns to laugh out loud. Read vehicle jokes about ford that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Ford jokes are hilarious and a great source of entertainment for automotive enthusiasts. Check out our collection of the funniest Ford jokes for Chevy guys, Ford jokes about Chevy and Dodge, and Ford jokes for Holden fans. Also, you'll find some of the best bumper jokes about Chrysler and other automobile marques. Enjoy!

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Funniest Ford Short Jokes

Short ford jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ford humour may include short drive jokes also.

  1. I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford. Doctor: That's not how adhd works.
    Me: But I keep losing my Focus.
  2. Doctor, I think I have ADHD. I can never remember where I parked my Ford. Doctor: That's not how ADHD works.
    Man: But I keep losing my Focus.
  3. Fords coming out with heated tailgates. So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home.
  4. Why do Ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it
  5. I had a ford Fiesta once, then I left my prescription of Adderall in the glove box overnight, when I came out in the morning, I had a Ford Focus.
  6. My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
  7. My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph.
  8. Fords new heated tailgates.. Fords working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold.
  9. A Chevy Silverado, a GMC Sierra, a Ford F150, a RAM 1500, and a toyota Tacoma are driving in convoy Best pickup line ever
  10. My son accidentally left his Adderall in his Ford Festiva. Now, it's a Ford Focus.

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Ford One Liners

Which ford one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ford? I can suggest the ones about fleet and cars.

  1. I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now I have a Ford Focus.
  2. 85% of all Fords made are still on the road today... The other 15% made it home.
  3. What do you get when you put adderall into the gas tank of a Ford Fiesta? A Ford Focus.
  4. What's your favorite pickup line? For me, it's the Ford F series.
  5. I put adderall into my Ford Fiesta Now it's a Ford Focus
  6. What's your favorite pick up line? Mine is the Ford F Series.
  7. I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford. It's an autobiography.
  8. I left my Adderral in my Ford Fiesta I came back to a Ford Focus
  9. What do you call Harrison Ford making a Venn diagram? Comparrison Ford!
  10. I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta... it's now a Ford Focus.
  11. What's the difference between a Ford Fiesta and a Ford Focus? Adderall.
  12. Jesus Christ himself was a Ford man ....he walked everywhere.
  13. Did you know Jesus had a Ford That's why he walked everywhere
  14. What do you call a Ford Fiesta that won't start? A Ford Siesta
  15. Have you heard about Ford's new electric coffee car? It's the Mach-E Auto.

Ford Car Jokes

Here is a list of funny ford car jokes and even better ford car puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I woke up one day, and wanted to go to the store. I went to my garage and saw that my car wasn't there.
    That day, I realized I shouldn't have bought a Ford Escape.
  • Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget? A Ford!
  • What kind of car is bad for a kid with ADD? A Ford Focus
  • I went to a car show but there were nothing but Fords I guess you could say it was a real Ford Fiesta
  • Ford Ibble A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"
    I said, "It has to be affordable"
    He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
  • Why are Ford cars so popular? Because they are affordable.
  • What is the car that everyone sleeps in? The Ford Siesta
    Many thanks to /u/ekhappychap for that one.
  • What did the man say when he saw the car cross the river? Ford!
  • Ford claims that 90% of its cars are still on the road today That's pretty bad, apparently only 10% of them made it back home
  • I left my Adderall in my car last night... When I came out this morning, it became a Ford Focus.

Ford Focus Jokes

Here is a list of funny ford focus jokes and even better ford focus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus.
  • What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called? Chrysler Concentrate
  • I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership I lost my focus
  • If you leave a Sombrero and Maracas in your Ford Focus Will it become a Ford Fiesta?
  • I had a Ford Fiesta.... and fed it some adderall and it turned into a Ford Focus
  • I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta, It is now a Ford Focus.
    I can't claim credit for this one, I heard it on one of my favorite streamers' streams.
  • I put adderall in the gas tank of my Ford Fiesta... ...turned it into a Ford Focus
  • Why couldn't 1 Ford Focus give the other Ford Focus a message? Broken transmission.
  • What happens when you give Ritalin to a Ford Fiesta? It turns into a Ford Focus.
  • Ford announced today that they are discontinuing all but two of their cars... They've really lost their Focus.
Ford joke, Ford announced today that they are discontinuing all but two of their cars...

Harrison Ford Jokes

Here is a list of funny harrison ford jokes and even better harrison ford puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!
  • Harrison Ford has broken his ankle. There will now be a new Star Wars cast.
  • Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA group. I've never seen Han so low.
  • Seems like Harrison Ford is really down to earth Too early?
  • Harrison Ford just got dumped by his girlfriend... Now he's Hands Solo.
  • What do you call Harrison Ford shivering in the corner of the Temple of Doom? Indiana Jonesing
  • Harrison Ford has crashed his single seat plane He was flying Solo
  • If Harrison Ford's son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city? Indy-Annapolis
  • Someone asked Harrison Ford what his favorite star wars location was He said that Cloud City always sent chills down his spine.
  • Harrison Ford has this ability called... Affordability. (i see myself out bye)

Ford Fiesta Jokes

Here is a list of funny ford fiesta jokes and even better ford fiesta puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a Ford Fiesta out of gas? A Ford Siesta!
  • My lucky day! I didn't have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta. I couldn't afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.
  • I really wish people would just put their phones down and drive. -Sent from my Ford Fiesta
  • Why were there 5 Mexicans in a Ford? It was a Fiesta
  • What do you call a ford towing another ford? A ford fiesta!
  • I used to drive a Ford Fiesta... Until I took some Adderal to study for my test. Now It's a ford focus
  • What do you call a party car driven by Harrison Ford? A Ford Fiesta.
  • What's more powerful than a North Korean nuclear bomb? Ford Fiesta.
  • I used to drive a Ford Fiesta But since I'm on Ritalin it's a Ford Focus.
  • I left my amphetamines in my ford focus Now I have a a Ford Fiesta.
Ford joke, I left my amphetamines in my ford focus

Rib-Tickling Ford Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about ford you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fuse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ford pranks.

What's the difference between Stephen Harper and Rob Ford?

One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes *and* lines.

Ford Focus

Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn't she be "out of Focus" ?

he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal.

"I've got more than enough to eat at home"

Rob Ford..too soon?

*Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.

A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

A man is talking to his friend...

"Today I got a brand new ford for my wife."
"Eyyy, nice trade."

Ford should create an 8-cylinder Fusion model

It would be a V8 Fusion

To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open"

I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"
She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires"

I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie

But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them "My Dixie wrecked"

What's the difference between a golfer and Harrison Ford?

A golfer **wants** to land on the fairway.

Why did Harrison Ford c**... his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

What's the difference between Rob Ford and an Ethiopian child?

Rob Ford has more than enough to eat at home.

Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?

The Betty Ford Clinic

What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater?

He said it was mind blowing.

What does a p**... Magazine and a Model T Ford have in common?

These days they're both hard to come by.

What did Dath Vader say when he was disappointed with his shipment from the Ford dealership?

There is no escape.

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

My favorite pickup line...

the Ford F Series

I tried to download Ford Racing 2 today...

It crashed.

My first e**......

was a Ford

Did you know 94% of Fords are still on the road?

The other 6% made it home.

So I went to buy a new truck...

Too bad I can't a Ford one.

My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos.

Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way.
I won.

Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents

Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States
-GW Bush
But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump

Did you hear Renault and Ford are going release a hyrbrid vehicle this year

mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' together

How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand?

Either way, you're likely to blow a t**...

What do you call a contract driver riding a Ford ranger?

A ute-Uber

Why are so many hotwheels based after Ford models?

So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.

My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an e**... for his birthday!

I couldn't understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford

Why won't prostitutes sleep with Harrison Ford?

Because they don't want to be known as a Ford e**....

I have a new pick up line.

It's "ford tough."

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

Tim Cook was just named as the new CEO of Ford, and I for one am really excited!

Now everyone will have the chance to buy a Ford-Apple car

You know what I like about ford?

They circle the problem for you.

What did they change the name of the Ford Bronco to when O.J. Simpson got acquitted?

The Ford Escape!

You'd think Henry Ford was African

The way he Madagascar
^^^^I'll ^^^^^let ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^^out

I'm a 25 year old v**... and I'm hoping that this is the year I get laid. My dad said he'd buy me an e**......

It's nice of him, but to be honest I don't see how a c**... old Ford is gonna help.

Doug Ford and Walmart are quite similar

They both love their rollbacks.

How do you get a Ford to stop?

Shoot the guy pushing it

What did Richard Nixon say when he bumped into Gerald Ford?

Pardon me.

I wish Ford installed heated bumpers.

Would keep my hands warm while I'm pushing it to the side of the freeway.

I bought the new "Ford" vacuum cleaner, but it doesn't work.

I guess it's the only thing Ford has made that doesn't s**....

Ford joke, I bought the new "Ford" vacuum cleaner, but it doesn't work.

jokes about ford