The Best 67 Ford Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ford jokes. There are some ford windstar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ford suv puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ford Jokes and Puns

Ford Focus

Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn't she be "out of Focus" ?

Fords new heated tailgates..

Fords working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold.

My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...

Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?

Ford joke, My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...

My father works as a statistician at Ford.

He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph.

Rob Ford..too soon?

*Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years.


A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta...

it's now a Ford Focus.

Ford joke, I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta...

A man is talking to his friend...

"Today I got a brand new ford for my wife."

"Eyyy, nice trade."

Fords coming out with heated tailgates.

So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home.

To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open"

I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"

She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires"

I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie

But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them "My Dixie wrecked"

You can explore ford automobile reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ford car dad jokes. There are also ford puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.

There will now be a new Star Wars cast.

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called?

Chrysler Concentrate

What do you call Harrison Ford making a Venn diagram?

Comparrison Ford!

What's your favorite pick up line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

Ford joke, What's your favorite pick up line?

What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater?

He said it was mind blowing.

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

My favorite pickup line...

the Ford F Series


Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?

It said Focus.

Why were there 5 Mexicans in a Ford?

It was a Fiesta

My first escort...

was a Ford

I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership

I lost my focus

I left my Adderral in my Ford Fiesta

I came back to a Ford Focus

My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos.

Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way.

I won.

Did you know Jesus had a Ford

That's why he walked everywhere

Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents

Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States

-Eisenhower

-Kennedy

-Johnson

-Nixon

-Ford

-Carter

-Reagan

-Bush

-Clinton

-GW Bush

-Obama

But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump

How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand?

Either way, you're likely to blow a tranny

Why do Ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers?

To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it

Why are so many hotwheels based after Ford models?

So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.

What do you get when you put adderall into the gas tank of a Ford Fiesta?

A Ford Focus.

My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an escort for his birthday!

I couldn't understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford

What do you call a Ford Fiesta that won't start?

A Ford Siesta

What kind of car is bad for a kid with ADD?

A Ford Focus

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

You know what I like about ford?

They circle the problem for you.

What did they change the name of the Ford Bronco to when O.J. Simpson got acquitted?

The Ford Escape!

Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA group.

I've never seen Han so low.

You'd think Henry Ford was African

The way he Madagascar

^^^^I'll ^^^^^let ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^^out

85% of all Fords made are still on the road today...

The other 15% made it home.

I'm a 25 year old virgin and I'm hoping that this is the year I get laid. My dad said he'd buy me an escort...

It's nice of him, but to be honest I don't see how a crappy old Ford is gonna help.

If you leave a Sombrero and Maracas in your Ford Focus

Will it become a Ford Fiesta?

I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta.

Now I have a Ford Focus.

How do you get a Ford to stop?

Shoot the guy pushing it

What did Richard Nixon say when he bumped into Gerald Ford?

Pardon me.

I wish Ford installed heated bumpers.

Would keep my hands warm while I'm pushing it to the side of the freeway.

I bought the new "Ford" vacuum cleaner, but it doesn't work.

I guess it's the only thing Ford has made that doesn't suck.

What does Ford stand for?

Found On Road Dead

My step dad is a super Chevy guy and told me this when I was young, drop your best Chevy/Ford jokes

My son accidentally left his Adderall in his Ford Festiva.

Now, it's a Ford Focus.

I put adderall into my Ford Fiesta

Now it's a Ford Focus

Without a doubt, the Ford F-150

My favorite pickup line.

My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150.

He is a pick up artist.

American presidents are on a sinking ship!

Ford says: What do we do?

Bush says: Man the lifeboats!

Reagan says: What lifeboats?

Carter says: Women and children first!

Nixon says: Screw the women!

Clinton says: You think we have time?

So, a Frenchman, an American and a Russian are at a car show.

Frenchman looks at the show car and says "we French also have good cars. At home we drive Citroen, but when we go abroad we drive the luxurious Renault".

The American agrees, and says "we also drive Ford pickups at home, but abroad we drive Cadillacs to impress".

The Russian thinks for a bit and says: "_da_, in Russia we drive Lada. In other countries, we drive T-72."

I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.

Doctor: That's not how ADHD works.

Me: But I keep losing my Focus.

What do you call a Ford Fiesta out of gas?

A Ford Siesta!

I went to a car dealership with my wife

We were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one. The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up and says: "Is that an Escort?"

Me: "No this is my wife"

What's the difference between a Ford Fiesta and a Ford Focus?

Adderall.

I woke up one day, and wanted to go to the store.

I went to my garage and saw that my car wasn't there.

That day, I realized I shouldn't have bought a Ford Escape.

A Chevy Silverado, a GMC Sierra, a Ford F150, a RAM 1500, and a Toyota Tacoma are driving in convoy

Best pickup line ever

What's the best car to tell a prostitute you own?

A Ford Escort

Doctor, I think I have ADHD. I can never remember where I parked my Ford.

Doctor: That's not how ADHD works.

Man: But I keep losing my Focus.

The new Ford F-150 comes with a heated tailgate.

That way you can keep your hands warm when you're pushing it home in the winter.

Michigan Lawyer: "Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?"

Barney: "No sir. I ain't got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!"

Lawyer: "Well you can raise money on that. Now let's see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?"

Barney: "A 1928 Ford Car."

My lucky day! I didn't have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta.

I couldn't afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.

Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget?

A Ford!

Henry Ford owned a brothel

He packed the brothel with the most beautiful women in Detroit. Any man could come in and take one out on a date. They were known as the Ford Escorts.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ford auto jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ford porsche piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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