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Ford Car Jokes

63 ford car jokes and hilarious ford car puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ford car that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ford Car Short Jokes

Short ford car jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ford car humour may include short ford focus jokes also.

  1. My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
  2. I woke up one day, and wanted to go to the store. I went to my garage and saw that my car wasn't there.
    That day, I realized I shouldn't have bought a Ford Escape.
  3. I went to a car show but there were nothing but Fords I guess you could say it was a real Ford Fiesta
  4. Ford Ibble A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"
    I said, "It has to be affordable"
    He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
  5. What is the car that everyone sleeps in? The Ford Siesta
    Many thanks to /u/ekhappychap for that one.
  6. Ford claims that 90% of its cars are still on the road today That's pretty bad, apparently only 10% of them made it back home
  7. I left my Adderall in my car last night... When I came out this morning, it became a Ford Focus.
  8. Tim Cook was just named as the new CEO of Ford, and I for one am really excited! Now everyone will have the chance to buy a Ford-Apple car
  9. Ford announced today that they are discontinuing all but two of their cars... They've really lost their Focus.
  10. A man is texting and driving in his ford By doing so he crashed and the car is totalled.
    You could say he lost his focus.

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Ford Car One Liners

Which ford car one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ford car? I can suggest the ones about ford fiesta and sports car.

  1. Have you heard about Ford's new electric coffee car? It's the Mach-E Auto.
  2. Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget? A Ford!
  3. What kind of car is bad for a kid with ADD? A Ford Focus
  4. Why are Ford cars so popular? Because they are affordable.
  5. What did the man say when he saw the car cross the river? Ford!
  6. Ford have announced their new car. But the Ford Siesta has caused some safety concerns.
  7. Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford? So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.
  8. I don't get new car smell air fresheners Your '98 Ford Taurus isn't fooling anyone
  9. What do you call a car made of stone? A ford.
  10. What do you call a party car driven by Harrison Ford? A Ford Fiesta.
  11. what's a rapper's favorite car? ford flex
  12. My wife and I bought a Ford Escape.... We heard it was a great car for getaways.
  13. What Kind of Car Does a Jewish Person Drive? A Ford Torahs
  14. If conceited people were cars, what engine would they run on? A Ford EgoBoost engine.
  15. What is the photographer's favorite car? Ford Focus

Ford Car Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about ford car you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car part jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ford car pranks.

What car does a nuclear physicist ride to work with?

Ford Fusion.

What comes after the third car?

The ford car.

What car brands mean

Ford-Flipped Over Rebuilt Dodge
Pontiac-Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
Fiat- Fix It Again Tony
Chevrolet-Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Nissan-Needless Innovations, Silly, s**..., Automotive Nonsense
GM-Gluteus Maximus
GMC-God's Mechanical Curse
LTD-Long, Thin Dumpster
Oldsmobile-Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.

Ford Focus

Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn't she be "out of Focus" ?

What car does an alien abductee drive?

A black Ford Probe.

A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

George Washington and two other people go to Heaven...

Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they're really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says,
"I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car'll depend on how many kids you had when you were alive."
The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies,
"Well, that's not too many."
And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates.
The second person says that he had 5 children.
"That's a lot!"
And whips him up a broken down Ford Model T.
George Washington had to get to the Gates by foot. The two other people were waiting for him there. When they asked why he had to do that, since he didn't have any children when he was alive:
"Some idiot told him I'm the father of my country!"
Oh, and thanks /u/reg8382748 for pointing it out, PRETEND GEORGE WASHINGTON KNOWS WHAT THE FRICK A CAR IS.

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

Do you know why Fords are such good cars?

Because they're so afFORDable

What is Louis C.K.s favourite car for 2017?

A Ford Exhibitionist, great car I hear, real flashy.

It's insane that car companies, especially Ford, pay hundreds of millions to try to stay ahead of the game

I guess they can't a Ford to lose out

What kind of car can you pay for?

A ford.
Just made this up and am very proud of this one.

'Ford recalls nearly 1.4 million cars, steering wheel can come loose'

Is this Ford's idea of a driver-less car?

A young girl is walking home from school one day when a car pulls up along side her.

The window goes down and the driver says to her
"Hey sweetie, I'll gove you a dollar if you get in the car with me..."
The girl doesn't say anything, she just walks a little faster.
The driver says
"Alright, I'll give you ten dollars if you get in the car with me..."
Again, the girl says nothing, she just walkes a bit quicker still.
The driver then says
"I'll give you one hundred dollars if you get in the car with me..."
At this the girl stops, turns to the driver and shouts
"YOU BOUGHT THE FORD DAD, YOU RIDE IN IT!!!"

American car companies have announced they are going 100% green

Starting with the Ford Ficus

New Kind Of Car

At the bar, Tom and Bill were talking. My uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took the wheels from a Cadillac, the radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford," said Tom.

What did he get?" asked Bill.

Two years, said Tom

So, a Frenchman, an American and a Russian are at a car show.

Frenchman looks at the show car and says "we French also have good cars. At home we drive Citroen, but when we go abroad we drive the luxurious Renault".
The American agrees, and says "we also drive Ford pickups at home, but abroad we drive Cadillacs to impress".
The Russian thinks for a bit and says: "_da_, in Russia we drive Lada. In other countries, we drive T-72."

I went to a car dealership with my wife

We were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one. The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up and says: "Is that an e**...?"
Me: "No this is my wife"

What's the best car to tell a p**... you own?

A Ford e**...

Michigan Lawyer: "Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?"

Barney: "No sir. I ain't got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!"
Lawyer: "Well you can raise money on that. Now let's see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?"
Barney: "A 1928 Ford Car."

In 1974, volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…

American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the e**... in 1980.
*still working on this one

An American asked a Russian guy about their cars:

\- For what did you make the ZAZ, a copy of the Fiat 500?
\- For rural roads ...
\- What did you make the Moskvich for, a copy of Ford?
"For country roads!"
\- Then what is Lada for, a copy of another Fiat?
\- For city roads!
\- The for what did you invent the Volga for?
\- For the good intercity roads!
\- And what do you go abroad with?
\- We do not go abroad!
"And yet, if necessary?"
\- If necessary - with tanks!

Auto

John: "My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth."
Dave: "Really? What did he get?"
John: "Fifteen years."