Forbidden Jokes
61 forbidden jokes and hilarious forbidden puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about forbidden that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover why some jokes are deemed "forbidden" and off-limits for general consumption. Learn about the taboo topics that can be crossed when exploring humour and discover why jokes about certain topics or groups of people are not taken lightly. Explore the secular view, the religious perspective and the dangers of non-approved jests.
Funniest Forbidden Short Jokes
Short forbidden jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The forbidden humour may include short off limits jokes also.
- To settle their differences, Jesus and Muhammed agree to pistols at dawn, Jesus wins... ...because drawing Muhammed is forbidden.
- My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam.
I told her, "Yeah, it's haram, bae." - Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme? Because attachments are forbidden.
- In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband... - I should have married the devil instead of you!
- Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden! - Remember when talking about plastic surgery was considered a forbidden subject? Now you can talk about Botox at a restaurant, and nobody will raise an eyebrow.
- What do you call it when the Pope sends letters to his forbidden past lovers? Ex-communication
- I refuse to accept non-binary Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.
(Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.) - Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ? Because attachments are forbidden.
- My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.
- It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events
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Forbidden One Liners
Which forbidden one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with forbidden? I can suggest the ones about banned and off limit.
- Why is soy sauce forbidden in fights? 'Cause you should never Kikkoman when he's down.
- Why can't you email photos to a Jedi? Because attachments are forbidden
- Why can't you send files in an email to a Jedi? Attachments are forbidden!
- Did you know it's forbidden for women to make coffee? In the bible it says... He-Brews
- What do you call an antelope that is forbidden to marry? Cantelope.
- What is the most forbidden spice in Pakistan? Haram masala
- The fruit forbidden lovers hate... Cantaloupe
- Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They're illeagle.
- What do you call a gay man in Russia? Forbidden fruit.
- Why are jedi useless at email? Attachments are forbidden
- What bee is forbidden to the Muslims? Haram-bee
- I went out for ice cream and asked for a scoop of Forbidden Chocolate. They said no.
- Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
- I have forbidden my wife to buy a new expensive purse. But she did it anyway! How Gucci?
- What's the most forbidden word in retail? Overtime.
Forbidden Fruit Jokes
Here is a list of funny forbidden fruit jokes and even better forbidden fruit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the fruit that was forbidden from running away with its lover? Canteloupe
- Don't be foolish, the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was obviously not an apple. It was an orange. Haven't you heard of oranginal sin?
- Why did Eve eating the forbidden fruit cause a lump in Adams t**...? Because she was eating Adam's apple.
Cheerful Fun Forbidden Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about forbidden you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unlawful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make forbidden pranks.
Adam and Eve eat the apple
of the forbidden tree, God sees this and is very angry, "Adam!" he says, "for what you have done from now on by the sweat of your brow you will eat your food...." "And you Eve...you will pay with *blood*
But you can pay me in comfortable monthly payments
From the turn of the 18th century, to the mid 1960's b**... and w**... were legally forbidden from entering into i**... marriages. The reasoning behind this restriction?
It produced mixed results.
OC that I came up with whilst daydreaming: Why is there no sofa in the forbidden kingdom?
... because Mao is more of a chair man!
There were two postage stamps that were forbidden from wedding one another...
In the end they env-eloped
Why is it forbidden to enter the jungle after 8 PM ?
Because then the elephants start jumping out of the trees.
And why do the crocodiles have a flat mouth?
They entered the jungle after 8 PM.
Went into a restaurant and asked the waiter for a haramburger
He said you can't have that...it's forbidden
A forbidden love
"I'm in love with one of my sheep," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist.
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog we are very attached to."
"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel physically attracted to my sheep."
"Hmmmmm," observed the doctor. "Is it male or female?"
"Female, of course!" the man replied curtly. "What do you think I am, GAY?"
A Muslim walks into a bar
and orders a bacon sandwich and a beer.
"Isn't that forbidden in your religion?" the bartender asks.
"Yes, but my sins will be forgiven in... 9 minutes.. and 30 seconds."
What did the older melon say to the two young melons, who's love was forbidden?
You cantaloupe.
The U.S. declared that European nations are forbidden from fishing for caviar in the Carribean
This is known as the Salmon Roe Doctrine
It's a sin to burn the bible and inject the ash into your bloodstream
For you are forbidden to use the Lord's name in vein
According to the Southern Baptist Convention... couples are forbidden to have s**... while standing up.
They're afraid it might lead to dancing.
A priest, a rabbi, and a whale walk into a restaurant...
The Priest says: "I'll have the pork, it always suits me well". The rabbi says: "That is forbidden for me! I'll have the beef, but no dairy". The whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo
Did you know that God uses Android phones?
It's because he made the galaxy and the apple is forbidden.
Apple Store
Why is it forbidden to f**... in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows!
Forbidden by my wife/kids from telling any more "dad jokes", I resorted to telling our dairy cow - and discovered she has a great sense of humor. I have to be careful, though...
When she laughs too much, milk comes out her nose.
Shortly after creating them, God is introducing Adam and Eve to The Garden.
"These are the trees and bushes that bear fruit for you to eat. These are the bodies of water, for you to drink from. These are the animals, for you to name. And this is the forbidden fruit, which you must never eat."
"And what's that?" says Eve, pointing to something on her left.
"Oh that?" says God, realizing Eve is pointing at Queen Elizabeth. "I don't know, that was there when I got here."
^Just ^a ^joke ^I ^heard ^a ^long ^time ^ago, ^which ^felt ^relevant ^today. ^RIP
Three men are discussing Adam and Eve
The Frenchman says "Adam and Eve must be French. They are beautiful, and n**..., and have all the world's beauty before them."
The Englishman says "Not at all. They are residing in the most beautiful, perfect Garden. They must be English."
The Russian says "They are without clothes, they are forbidden from eating, they are talked to by snakes, and they are being told it's Heaven. They are Russian."
