Football Pitch Jokes
7 football pitch jokes and hilarious football pitch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about football pitch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Football Pitch Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good football pitch joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What lights up a football pitch at night?
A football match.......
My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.
Luckily we still won on aggregate.
The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks
Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool..
Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..
Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ?
So he could bring his 'sub' on
What do you call singers playing football in mount everest?
High pitch
Football and accountancy in one joke
A Sunday League football team is desperate for players. So desperate in fact that one Sunday they are forced to play a chicken. Rather surprisingly the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it's clearing off its own line, the next threading the perfect through ball, the next putting in a perfect cross.
At half time all its team-mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half.
On the way the ref starts chatting with the chicken.
"Great first half mate, you must be really fit".
"Thanks", replied the chicken, "I try to keep myself fit but its difficult finding the time so I try to do an hour in the gym each morning before work".
"What do you do then?" asked the ref.
"I'm a chartered accountant" replies the chicken.
At this point the ref immediately brandishes the red card and sends the chicken off. The bemused team-mates gather round the ref and start complaining.
"Sorry lads", says the ref, "I had no choice - *Professional fowl*".
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