Football Club Jokes
25 football club jokes and hilarious football club puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about football club that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Football Club Short Jokes
Short football club jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The football club humour may include short football team jokes also.
- why was Cindrella not selected in any football club? Because she kept running away from the ball
- Some breaking English football news. Arsenal are to allow their goal keepers, to train without a mask,
club doctors confirm.
There's no way they can catch anything.. - Sir Bobby Charlton was having an interview. "I won many awards and honours playing football for my club!" He boasted.
"United?" Asked the interviewer.
"Indeed I am!" Sir Bobby proudly replied. - What is the difference between Crystal Palace football club and a spear? A spear actually has a point.
- I was asked what days I could run a football club in Sheffield. I said, I can't manage Wednesday.
- The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool.. Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..
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Football Club One Liners
Which football club one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with football club? I can suggest the ones about soccer team and sports team.
- What's the fat person's favourite football club? KFC.
- Which football club has the maximum chicken players? KFC
- Where do child molesters go to play sports? British football clubs.
- I witnessed some suspicious activity at the local football club. No racist chants.
- Tottenham Hotspur Football Club
- Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favourite football club? M'gladbach
- What is the k**...'s favourite football (soccer) club? Blackburn
- h**...'s favorite football club was **Ju**ventus.
Delightful Fun Football Club Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about football club you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean football match jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make football club pranks.
It's Jim's birthday
Jim's wife treats her man by taking him to a s**... Club for his birthday... At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Jimmy, How are You?" The wife asks, "How does he know you? Jimmy says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?" Jimmy says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team." Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??" The wife storms out dragging Jimmy with her & jumps into a taxi... The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."
Whatever you do, don't tell this joke to a math person; they will just make you upset
Bill is a giant nerd, and he knows that he isn't perceived as cool; in fact, lots of people call him a square. So, in an effort to be cool, he finds some cool guys and decides to go do everything he can with them.
They say, "Hey Bill, we're going to the bar. Want to come?"
He says, "Sure," and comes to the bar. They all order shots and beers. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he orders shots and beers, and they all have a great time.
Next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a club. Bill comes along with them. They all start grinding on women and ordering tons of booze. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he does the same and has a good time.
The next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a football game. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he comes along. The guys are all cheering for their team enthusiastically, but Bill just sits quietly in his seat. Finally one of the guys says, "Bill, this isn't like you. Everything else we've done, you've joined in happily. Why won't you root for the team with us?"
Bill replies, "Well, I don't want to be a square. And rooting? Rooting is for squares."
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert
Hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Dad's job
(German here)
The teacher asks the children what their dad's are doing for a job. All very exited shouted all different professions;
"Police Office, Fireman, banker, accountant, ..." ... only Hans remained quiet.
So, the teach asks "Hans, what is you dad doing as a job?"
"Oh, he's dancing n**... at a gay club and sometimes man pay him more money and they go to a motel together".
"Is that true, Hans?" The teacher asks shocked.
"No, he's playing football (soccer) for the German national team but that would have been too embarrassing.