fools Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious fools puns

Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools.

Hawaii **IS** the early warning system.

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A bad workman blames his fools...


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A bad workman blames his fools.

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What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools

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What's the name of Mr. T's girlfriend?

April, fools

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My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

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A good workman doesn't blame his fools

\*tools.

Stupid keyboard.

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I just ran over my dog.

April fools! I don't know whose dog it was.

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Girlfriend said "I think I'm pregnant, I'm two weeks late..

..April fools!"

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A bad workman blames his fools...

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Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

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I'm so happy and I don't want to die

^^April ^^fools

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Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...

Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy in the Kremlin?"
The first guy responds "You think *this* line is long?"

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TIFU by delivering a punch line in the wrong place at the wrong time

April Fools!

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What's Mr T's favourite month?

April, Fools.

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My Dad being an asshole to an 8 year old

Best April Fools Day joke; i was like 7 or 8, my dad and I are talking trash all of March 31st about who is gonna prank who better. Morning of april 1st my dad wakes me up and rushes me into the shower, has me change my clothes, and eat breakfast. As I'm about to head out to the bus stop I noticed it was pretty dark, thats because it was 3 in the morning...

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April Fools

It was April first when a young father went to the hospital to see his newly born son. Standing outside the glass partition, the nurse pointed to his baby son. The nurse smiled as she lifted the baby from its cot. She then strolled over to the table and bounced the baby's head on the timber. The father was horror-struck and his hands went up to the window. The nurse smiled at him and started to swing the baby by holding it by it's penis and scrotum. The father was pounding frantically at the glass partition by this time. The nurse let go of the baby and with a sickening thud the baby went careering into the wall. Blood and guts went everywhere. The father took a runing jump at the glass partition. The nurse picked up the baby and tore it's arms off as the father went hurtling through the glass. He was foaming at the mouth when he faced the nurse.

She said, "April fools! He was dead already!"

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For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

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If Gandalf wanted to go on an overseas holiday, what would he do?

Fly, *you fools*.

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Little Billy had been blind since birth...

...and one night his mom tells him "If you pray extra hard tonight God will allow you see in the morning."

So little Billy prayed his heart out before going to sleep that night. The next morning he opened his eyes and to his surprise he screamed out.
"Mommy I still can't see!"
"I know son, April fools."

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Good Point!

An American, Russian and a Pol are sitting in a bar having a few drinks. The Russian stands up and proclaims "We Russians are the best because we were first to send a satellite into orbit! The American stands up and say's That's nothing. We Americans were first to put a man on the Moon! The Pol stands up and says You are both fools! We Pol's will be the first to send a man to the Sun! The Russian and American laugh at the Pol and say, You can't send a man to the sun. They will be burned to a crisp. The Pol says, Ah! We thought of that. We will send them at night!

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see the light

The pessimist sees no light in the tunnel.

The optimist see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The realist sees that the light is a train.

The train driver sees only three fools on the track.

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I have a funny and original joke...

April fools!

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"Honey," said a husband, "I Invited a friend home for dinner."

"What? Are you crazy?" The wife replied.
"The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal."

" I know all that," he said.

"Then why did you invite a friend for dinner?" she asked.

he replied, "because the poor fools thinking about getting married."

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Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

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I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

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Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

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comeback is real!

A professor and a fool

A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!

Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.

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A kid was selling newspapers...

A kid was selling newspapers. He was yelling, "Boy cheats 100 fools!" to catch people's attention. A man walking by was interested and bought a newspaper. As he walked away with the newspaper, he heard the boy start yelling, "Boy cheats 101 fools!"

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Tunnel

Pesimist only sees the darkness in the tunnel.
Optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees that that light is in fact a train.
The train conductor sees 3 fools on the railroad track.

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A bad builder blames his fools

*Tools
Fucking keyboard

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News Alert: Trump spending weekend working at the White House.

April Fools

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Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

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What do you call a female clown?

April Fools

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Series of Romanian Alinuta jokes.

Sup ya'll! I've translated some dark Romanian jokes about a girl named Alinuta. Any other Romanians who know more please share!

-Brother: Mom, Alinuta hung herself in the basement!
Mom goes and looks to find nothing.
Mom: She's not there.
Brother: April fools! She's in the attic!

-While Alinuta's brother is watching tv, she quickly moves passed the screen.
Brother: Hey! Get out of the way!
Alinuta again moves passed the screen, blocking her brothers view for a second.
Bother: Stop getting in the way!
Alinuta moves across the room again, blocking his screen.
Infuriated with his sister blocking his TV, Alinuta's brother calls their mom to resolve the problem.
Brother: I want to watch TV but Alinuta keeps moving in front of the screen.
Mom: oh it's cause she hung herself.

-"Alinuta stop playing with the scissors! You're going to spill your fingers on the floor again!"

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April 1st Operation

(Doctor walks out of operation room. A man quickly reached the doctor.)

"How's my wife? How's my baby?"

"Well your wife is okay, but... Your baby... umm..."

(Man starts crying)

"APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHA! Jokes on you!" (laugh)

(Man starts laughing with the doctor.)

"The fact is your wife died as well."

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Luella and Rose

There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going
to get a picture taken of themselves as they just got their checks.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the
camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.
Well, Luella being hard of hearing says, "Huh?"
Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"
Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"

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I just lost my virginity!!!!

April fools *sob*

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Teacher asks students ...

... if there are any fools in this class please stand up.

Nobody stands up .

After 10 seconds , little Johnny stands up .

Then teacher says , "aha so you are a fool ".

Johnny says , " ma'am I felt sorry for you standing all alone ... "

:)

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Mommy mommy! Daddy hanged himself in the living room!

*mom rushes to the living room*

Kid: Haha! April fools! He did it in the attic!

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Happy Easter

April Fools
Now go pay your rent.

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This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

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As an April fools joke, I told my SO that I was pregnant...

...sadly she didn't fall for it.

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What did Jesus say when he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday?

April Fools! I'm not really dead!

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There was this really talented female painter

and one day she painted this magnificent painting inspired by medieval times of a ball. It was filled with lords and ladies dancing with each other, a table filled with food for the feast, fools entertaining, and men in armor standing guard. She was so proud of this picture she called her friend over to show it to her.
The friend saw it and said, "Wow this is really great! But I have just one question, why was this painted mostly in red?"
"Well I used my menstrual blood to paint most of it." The painter replied. Her friend just stared at her in horror. She continued to explain, "Its a period piece you see."

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A mother comes back home...

...and her son rushes to the door and tells her: "Mom, hurry up, dad has hanged himself in the bedroom!". The mother sprints to the bedroom but the room is all clear and there is no one there. The boy laughs and says "Haha April Fools! He hanged himself in the kitchen"

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Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!

April Fools!

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just got a new job and was to start today

Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"

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I've got really slow reaction times

April fools!

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April fools in Latvia

Latvian ask friend if he want potato for lunch. Friend guess is April Fool joke. Say "Too easy, never potato in Latvia, only sadness." One man starve to death during lunch.

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There were two fools and one boss

Boss told the fools to go and steal money from a random house.He told them that if the fence is tall then dig under,if the fence is short then jump.

Two hours later the fools came back with empty hands.

Boss asked them:"Where is the money?What happened?"

Fools replied "There was no fence"

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What's Mr. T's favorite holiday?

April, Fools.

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So I met my girlfriend the other day

april fools! i don't have a girlfriend hahaha haha ha....ha.......

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In the spirit of Easter, I've hidden eggs around the appartment.

In the spirit of April Fools, I'm not telling my roommates.

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Dead Baby Jokes?

A mother who has just given birth waits expectantly for the nurse to return so she can hold her baby. A few minutes pass, and the nurse enters with the baby in her hands. The nurse then drops the baby on the ground, stomps on it's head and kicks it out of the window. The mother starts screaming 'My baby, my baby!!'
The nurse looks at the lady and says 'April Fools! He was already dead!'

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Happy April's fools!

... No really, what did you expect?

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Police report: Group of mimes and jesters arrested after brawl.

Police arrested a group of mimes and jesters for starting a fight.

After questioning the 2 gangs, the cops were convinced the jesters were just acting like fools. But the mimes have yet to make a statement.

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What's the difference between a politician and a flat earther?

A politician fools the people and a flat earther fools himself

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Submitting this while I'm in a car...

Don't worry... I'm in the passenger seat, which makes it harder to drive but fools the COPS.

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The house phone

went at one minute past midnight last night, I answered and went all sombre as I was talking to the wife's Dad.







I came off the phone and told the wife her mother had died of a heart attack. She immediately got up and drove through the night from Cornwall to Aberdeen, she'll just be arriving now. This has to be my best April fools joke yet.

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I'm here to make a monthly joke

April Fools.

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Your dad died in a car crash.

April fools! He died in a fire!

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What was the first thing Jesus said after he was resurrected?

April Fools.

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April fools day on a news channel

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's the sequel to April Fools, Neo?

The May Tricks.

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What do you call Al-Qaeda's April Fools prank?

A jihahahad!

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Poor tradesman...

...blame his fools.
I mean tools.
Fuckin keyboard

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You might have thought Jesus died for your sins...

but he was alive the entire time. April Fools.

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If Moonlight is Best Picture, what is La La Land?

The Fools Who Dream

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Britain is a country whose half the population are fools

I'm sorry! I apologize.

Half of the population are not fools.

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Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

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What's Mr. Ts chain made out of?

Fools gold

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Today I saw a boy running with a ticket on his hand at railway station..

Next thing I remember he was lying on the ground and ticket says 9 3/4 Hogwarts.
He missed april fools day

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Malcolm Turnbull plans to fix NBN over the next 5 years

Starting on April Fools Day

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What did Jesus say to Mary on Easter?

April Fools!

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My favorite April fools joke.

The Resurrection of the Christ.

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I just thought of a great April fools joke

If everyone posted original content all day. But it wouldn't last 5 minutes if we are realistic.

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What comes after March?

April, fools!

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A bad Workman blames his fools

*tools

Fucking autocorrect

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Apple is a joke.

Apple was founded on the first of April 1976, That, if you don't know, is April Fools day. I have been fooled all my life.

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Why can't we have April fools every day?

At least all of the fake news is funny.

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Jesus, Good Friday: Ok guys I'm dead now.

Jesus, Easter Sunday: Gotcha! April Fools!

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For the longest time, i thought April fools was a christian thing. You know like it was in celebration of when Jesus died and then was like April fools gotcha guys.

I'm alive.

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TIFU by posting to wrong sub

April fools!

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So I just learned that Easter and April fools are on the same day in Australia.

Jesus ain't no joke.

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I have a girlfriend.

Today is the only day I can post this.


April fools. I'm happily married.

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I decided to teach my cousins a lesson about Easter and April Fools today...

So I sent them on an easter egg hunt but didn't hide any eggs

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I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse

April fools! It was just a drumstick.

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Remember this Easter "He is risen!"

April Fools

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Is this prank too much as revenge? Need suggestions for execution

So my boyfriend of a year played a prank on me where he had asked me if I found the gift he had left me. I spent so much time looking in every possible corner of my room and was even late to class only for him to tell me april fools. I want to get him back so I bought a fake pregnancy test. What do you guys think? Is this too much? I dont want to piss him off, just get a good laugh.

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Racehorse

An old race horse, a race horse in his prime, and a young colt are in the stables at a race track.

The old horse says "Man, when I was in my prime, I could have beat all you fools."

The prime horse says "Please old man, I could smoke you in your prime. Look at me!"

The colt scoffs at both, and says "You two don't know what you're talking about. When I get to my prime, I'm going to be setting records everywhere!"

As they continue arguing, a greyhound walks by the stables and exclaims,

"Holy s***! Talking horses!"

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What did Valve say when Half Life 3 came out?

April Fools!

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Yesterday IHOP changed their name to IHOB

Some should tell them April Fools Day isn't in June

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T cells

Killer T cells are where your immune system finds and destroys infected cells that have turned into virus-making factories.

Mr. T cells are where they pity the bacterial fools.

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Out of Season

Diablo Immortal.

April fools!

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What did Elvis say about Russia?

Only fools Russian.

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Donald Trump? More like...

Donald JUNK am I right you fucking fools?

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I'm pretty sure those who say they don't see color are lying

I never see those fools picking up grey loot in Fortnite. They seem to only see color to me.

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Easter is on April Fools this year

Tell your kids to go hunt for eggs you never hid

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So a black man walks into a store and bought 5 items.

April fools, he stole them.

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Pre-April Fools prank.

Click here to read about it.

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I always seem to end up telling jokes a day late or so...

...Just joking, April Fools!!!

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So I went to the shopping centre to get some milk...

AUSTRALIAN APRIL FOOLS MUTHAFUCKA

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What are some of the craziest April fools jokes you've heard of or done?

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I decided not to do any April Fools' pranks this year.

APRIL FOOLS LOL!

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There is a hilarious April Fools joke in this thread

April fools.

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The best joke ever

April fools

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Who needs April Fools?

My entire life is a joke...

:'(

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I have a really good joke

No I don't... April Fools!
Nah just kidding... So a man walks into a bra, he's dyslexic. April fools again! The man is blind.

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I found this joke today

HAHA APRIL FOOLS BITCHES

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April Fools Day

April Fools Day is ONLY for singles.
The married have their anniversary .

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2 guys walk into a bar...

April Fools

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-Knock Knock.......

April Fools

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Best joke you'll ever hear! I promise!

April fools! I suck at telling jokes!

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What do you call a group of trickers from April, Utah?

April Fools

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What do you call a group of tricksters from April, Utah?

April Fools

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Omg The Best April Fools Joke ever!!!

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I don't have a penis

April Fools

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Who needs April Fools...

When your whole life is a joke.

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April Fools Prank for LDR

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God walks through the front door...

APRIL FOOLS! Wut?

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Jet Fuel Can Melt Steel Beams

Happy April Fools Everyone

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An April Fools themed joke

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Got a girlfriend today!

April fools!

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I had sex with your mom today....

April fools! it was just your dad wearing your mothers clothing.

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I'm the kind of person that likes to be honest on April Fools

April fools!

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Anything funny happen to you today on April Fools Day?

Tell us all the good jokes...

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I'm tired of all these April fools jokes...

Just kidding, April fools!

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What starts with A, ends with S, and will happen to you anytime now?

APRIL FOOLS!

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Woman's rights

Not an april fools joke.

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Collection of the best jokes of 2015.

April Fools. :/

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April Fools!

How do you to get karma?

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You're shoes are untied!

April fools! Got ya!!

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HAPPY APRIL FOOLS GUYS!!

I hope I'm not too late.

Uploaded with Internet Explorer .

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When april fools are gone...

... EVERYTHING ON INTERNET IS TRUE NOW.

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Happy April Fools?

Not in the slippery monkey hole, Juwan!

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Hey, Gandalf! What is it that bats can do but badgers can't?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

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Tomorrow morning on April fools day...

... I'll be lying in bed.

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I need ideas for April fools day pranks to play on my SO

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What do you call the TMNTs doing stand up comedy?

April's Fools!!!

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My house burned down on April fools day...

because firefighters don't put out on the first date.

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I divorced my wife because she made a horrible april fools joke

April fools

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Are you sure that only fools are unarguably convinced?

Absolutely!

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My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks.

April fools!

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Why is the Jewish 'April fools day' celebrated in July?

Jew lie

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At least my parents April fools joke wasn't a child.

/u/ChodeologyPHD came up with this.

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An April fools joke

Gotcha
April fools

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Happy April Fools Day!

April Fools it's March 31st.

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The FBI announce Hillary's indictment on April Fools

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This is a really good joke

April fools!

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What are the best Fools puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Fools? Well, here are the best jokes about Fools to have fun with.

Joko Jokes