Fools Day Jokes
100 fools day jokes and hilarious fools day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fools day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fools Day Short Jokes
Short fools day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fools day humour may include short fools jokes also.
- April Fools! girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father
guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!
girl: haha! got me! you're not the father - One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Khrushchev is a fool!" He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets.
- April Fools Day............ The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
- Easter this year is April Fools Day Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
- Why is World autism Day after April Fools' Day? Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.
- The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day... ...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.
- What did they say to the first guy to pull off an april fools day prank? Jesus! I thought you were dead!
- I'm ginger, my birthday is on April fools day, I was born during a thunder storm, and I have a lazy eye... If anything, my life is a joke..
- Girlfriend to boyfriend GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.
BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.
GF - April fools day!
BF - Mine was on 24th March - What's the only difference between Valentine's Day and April fools? I don't get my hopes up when April fools comes around
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Fools Day One Liners
Which fools day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fools day? I can suggest the ones about april fools day and aprils fools.
- I finally switched from Internet Explorer to Chrome! Just kidding, happy April fools day!
- I told my mom she had epilepsy for April fool's day... She fell for it.
- What Canadian holiday is celebrated on May 1st? Maple Fool's Day
- CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools Just another day in the office.
- It's April Fool's Day You better watch out, you might actually hear a good joke today.
- Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?
- What was the worst april fools day joke? Well logan paul was born in 1995.
- Why can't we have April fools every day? At least all of the fake news is funny.
- If you do not say it, they can't repeat it.
- Malcolm Turnbull plans to fix NBN over the next 5 years Starting on April Fools Day
- TIL why people hate April Fools Day.
- Of course Thomas was skeptical, why not? The first Easter was on April Fool's Day.
- Isn't it ironic that April Fool's is the same day as Easter?
- Happy April Fools Day! April Fools it's March 31st.
- What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes? Prankenstein!
April Fools Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny april fools day jokes and even better april fools day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. "So it's like any other day."
- So I met my girlfriend the other day april fools! i don't have a girlfriend hahaha haha ha....ha.......
- Dear Diary, I've got the best April fool's day prank planned for my friends. I'm going to fake my death and return as a zombie! The looks on their faces will be priceless lolololol.
-Jesus - I just thought of a great April fools joke If everyone posted original content all day. But it wouldn't last 5 minutes if we are realistic.
- Walk up to a friend at work or school and whisper, "They know." Then quickly walk away. Most people will wrack their brains wondering what they did that people found out about.
- Apple is a joke. Apple was founded on the first of April 1976, That, if you don't know, is April Fools day. I have been fooled all my life.
- Today I saw a boy running with a ticket on his hand at railway station.. Next thing I remember he was lying on the ground and ticket says 9 3/4 Hogwarts.
He missed april fools day - So I just learned that Easter and April fools are on the same day in Australia. Jesus ain't no joke.
- Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day? Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.
- Did you know that the first April fool's day was on Easter Sunday? That Jesus sure could pull off a prank!
Comical & Quirky Fools Day Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about fools day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean april fools jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fools day pranks.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.
Change your Facebook Status to "I'm Pregnant" or "I'm Engaged" and watch the April Fools LIKE & Comment away.
You should know, that no one understood it was an April fool's joke because no one expected you have a sense of humor.
The next time you have company, serve them a bowl of shelled peanuts.
After they've eaten a few handfuls, casually mention that you've never liked peanuts, but you love to s**... the chocolate off of them.
Offer to wake up early and make pancakes for your family.
Cut up round, pancake-size pieces of cloth beforehand. Coat the cloth pieces with batter and cook them up. They look like actual pancakes, but can't be cut, even with a knife.
Got a neighbor who's a real patriot? Always flying the flag? Sneak out late at night and replace it with a large pair of boxer shorts.
Got a ceiling fan? Put some little piles of talcum powder on top of the blades and wait for somebody to turn it on. It'll be snowing indoors.
Put some ash or soot on your fingertip.
Casually mention to a friend that he has a spot of dirt on his face as you reach up to remove it. Leave your mark!
At our family BBQ's my dad would serve us briquettes and say the marshmallows burned.
Buy a prepaid gift card from Starbucks or another store for $25.
Then use it for yourself till it only has 25 cents left on it. Present it as a gift to your fool.
Stretchy shrink-wrap can be loads of fun.
You can get it at most office supply stores. Completely wrap a friend's car, bike, or motorcycle. Extra credit: leave a large pink bow on top.
I always seem to end up telling jokes a day late or so...
...Just joking, April Fools!!!
In the bad old days on the Soviet Union,
a dissident published a pamphlet in which he openly said Stalin was a fool. Sure enough, the man was arrested days later for this crime. So, the dissident went to court and said "I'm innocent and want to defend myself! What I said was truthful - I did not commit libel!" The judge said to him "you don't understand - you're not being charged for libel, you're being charged with revealing a state secret."
-heard on an Intelligence Squared debate.
A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…
…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...
Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy in the Kremlin?"
The first guy responds "You think *this* line is long?"
A dumb blonde goes to an electronics store...
...And sees a sign on the front of the store that says "No dumb blondes". Believing she isn't dumb she goes in and asks the man at the counter if she can by one of the televisions that are right behind him. He says no you're a dumb blonde, please leave. So the blonde decides to dye her hair brown and goes back into the store the next day to try and buy the tv. At the counter the man again says that she is a dumb blonde and she needs to leave. So once more the blonde dyes her hair and go to the store, this time with red hair. She gets to the counter and the man again denies her claiming she Is a dumb blonde. Frustrated she exclaims to the man "I've dyed my hair twice to try and fool you so you would let me buy that tv! How could you tell It was me the whole time?" The man then tells her "Because that's not a tv, it's a microwave."
Timmy's April Fool's joke
The day is April 1st, and Timmy wanted to play an April Fool's joke on his mom.
His mom comes home from work, and Timmy rushes to her.
"Mommy! Mommy!" He says, frantically.
"What is it, Timmy?" She asks.
"Dad hanged himself in the garage!"
The mom screams, then rushes to the garage, but nothing is there. She walks back in the house.
"Nothing is in the garage." She says to him.
"April fool's!"
"Oh than-"
"He hanged himself in the loft."
My house burned down on April fools day...
because firefighters don't put out on the first date.
You know why the fiscal year ends in March and not December?
Because the next year starts with April Fools' day.
I just got awake from sleep, after 61 days
April Fools :D
got it ; 61 days ..earlier ..from today right, no ?
alright move on :|
New guy in big corporate
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee. On his very first day
of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"
The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"
"No." replied the CEO indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.
After a long day, Hillary gets home and complains to Bill about her day.
Hillary: Today, at one grassroots event, people called me a liar.
Bill: Don't try to fool me, you never attend grassroots events.
-Trump's top agenda for his first 100 days in office :
make everyone use "bigly" in conversations so he doesn't look like a fool for being the only one who uses this word .
"I'm not a fool..."
An illiterate man loses his cheque book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your cheque book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: I am not a fool... I already signed all the cheques, so there is no space to forge my signature..
Can you call the British PM a fool?
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
So a doctor is delivering a baby
He walks out of the delivery room, said to a worried looking man:
" we tried our best, your wife survived, but your children...."
After hearing the news the man started to cry, then the doctor said:
"today is April's fool's day! And I'm just kidding with you"
The man's face brightening the doctor continued:
"Your wife is dead too"
Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
just got a new job and was to start today
Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"
Mother is shocked when her daughter comes back from school with five dollars worth of quarters.
Daughter: the boys at school kept dropping these quarters in front of me and I kept picking them up.
Mother: no honey, don't. The boys at school are probably looking at your underwear when you reach down for the quarters....
So the daughter goes back to school the next day comes back home again with ten dollars in quarters.
Mother: Honey. What did I tell you...? Were you picking up quarters again?
Daughter: it's ok mommy. I fooled them because I didn't wear any underwear under my skirt today.
Today, I heard a song...
It goes, Love me, love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.
Have a great day!
A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar
she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"
My friend doesn't believe in wishing people for any occasion. But she makes an exception on one day for me.
Happy fools' day.
A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...
...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?
An old hag was obsessed with shopping at Weis markets
She would wait outside the doors every morning until they opened. And then, she would binge-shop. She was so excited, she would run straight through the front door upon opening hours. The security guard took notice. He began to scold her. He told her one day, you can't keep rushing into our store like this! Only a fool behaves this way.
So, basically, Weis man say: only fools rush in.
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.
Little Sally comes home from school munching on a big bag of candy...
Her mother says, "Where'd you get the money for that!?"
Sally laughs and says, "Little Johnny bet me five dollars I couldn't climb up the flag pole! I did it, and I won!"
Her mother shakes her head. "You d**...! He was just trying to get a peek at your p**...!"
"Oh no!" Little Sally says, embarrassed.
But the next day, she comes home with two bags of candy.
Her mother says, "Did Little Johnny pay you to climb the flag pole again!??"
"Yes!" says Little Sally. "But I sure fooled him! I didn't even wear any p**...!"
A Drunk's Poem
Starkle, starkle, little t**...,
Who the h**... you are I think.
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why.
Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up!