Food Waste Jokes
17 food waste jokes and hilarious food waste puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about food waste that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Food Waste Short Jokes
Short food waste jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The food waste humour may include short waste jokes also.
- Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
- A rich Jewish businessman got kidnapped... The kidnappers told him to make a call to his family. He called and told them to not make any dinner for him tonight, so the food doesn't go to waste.
- If you could gather together all the food you've wasted over your life and put it on a scale to weigh it, It would probably smell terrible.
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Food Waste One Liners
Which food waste one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with food waste? I can suggest the ones about recycling and garbage can.
- I fed chicken nuggets to my chickens. Bad idea. What a waste of food.
- I'm fat because I hate wasting food. Personally, I blame Africa.
- What royal word is mispronounced to make it a waste of food? Duke
- I'm part Irish I like getting wasted like food on bulimics.
Food Waste Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about food waste you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean garbage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make food waste pranks.
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
A particularly dirty shabby looking woman asks for couple of dollars
A woman was walking down the street when she was
accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking
homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars
and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy
some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless
woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying
food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman
said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay
alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of
food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't
had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, I'm not going to give you the
money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner
with my husband and myself
tonight.
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty,
and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for
him to see what a woman looks like after she has given
up shopping, hair appointments and wine.
A little boy asks his dad, "Where does p**... come from?"
His father is taken aback by the question but decides to tell the son the truth.
"Well, son," he says, "food passes down the oesophagus, enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction. Then it passes through the alimentary canal before waste enters the colon, and then it finally emerges as p**...."
"Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"
My wife accidentally ordered way too many chicken strips for lunch
She was quite upset about, as she hates wasting food. My daughter I were quite happy to have some tasty junk food for dinner though. I said to my wife "We could do this again, I don't mind eating KFC. I hope this wasn't just a s**... tease!"
I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for a few dollars for food.
I pull $10 from my wallet and ask the man "if i give you this money will you buy beer with it?"
"No i had to give up drinking years ago" the man replied
"Will you use it to fish instead of buying food?" I asked
"No i dont waste time fishing" he replied " I have to use my time to try and stay alive"
"Will you use it to buy hunting equiptment i asked?"
"Are you NUTS? I havent been hunting in twenty years!!"
"Well" i said " instead of giving you the money im going to take you home and give you a nice hot bath, and a amazing dinner cooked by my wife"
The man, astounded asked " wont your wife be furious?"
I replied "dont worry about that. It's important for her to see what happens to a man when he stops hunting, fishing and drinking."