Food Jokes

153 food jokes and hilarious food puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Jokes about Food and Drink

Throughout my experience as a professional joke and pun writer, I've found that there's always something rather amusing about food and drink that people can't seem to get enough of. These jokes often revolve around common items that we encounter every day, from a simple piece of bread to an extravagant champagne cocktail. The elements of surprise and familiarity combined make these jokes appealing and relatable.

Funny Food Jokes Clean

Moreover, there is a unique charm about clean food jokes. Imagine a gag about an embarrassed tomato blushing, or a pun about a piece of cheese that feels 'grate'. Although they're simple and harmless, these jokes bring a hearty laugh and can be enjoyed by people of all ages, making them perfect for family gatherings or a casual get-together.

Fast Food Jokes

Fast food jokes are another area I've spent significant time exploring. There's a wealth of humor to be found in poking fun at the fast-paced world of fast food, from burgers running relays to hotdogs participating in 'frank' discussions. These jokes offer a lighthearted critique of our fast food culture, often leaving people chuckling and craving more.

Kitchen Jokes

Then we have kitchen jokes. The kitchen, being the heart of a home, is a splendid setting for hilarious situations. Chats between spoons and forks, gossipy teacups, or an overworked spatula – you'd be surprised at how funny the life of a kitchen utensil can be. These jokes provide laughter and urge us to look at our kitchen from a different perspective.

Favorite Food Jokes

Finally, everybody has their favorite food joke, and I'm no exception. It could be a pun about my favorite meal, pizza, or a joke about a vegetable I adore. These funny stories and quips connect with our personal experiences and tastes, adding a layer of personal touch. Whenever I share a joke about my favorite food, it makes me feel more connected to my audience, as it gives them a glimpse into my personal preferences and experiences.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Food Short Jokes

Short food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The food humour may include short diet jokes also.

  1. What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
  2. Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market
  3. Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
  4. If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would you choose? "Gandhi."
    Why him?
    "More food for me."
  5. The best beginner pet is a Hamster. They live for 5 days and don't require any food or water.
  6. My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
  7. My asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same. Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
  8. My Mum used to feed my brother and I by saying 'Here comes the train', and we always ate the food straight away. Otherwise she wouldn't untie us from the tracks.
  9. They say never go food shopping when you're hungry but it's been over a week now and every day I just get hungrier.
  10. They say to never go shopping for food when you're hungry but it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.

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Food One Liners

Which food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with food? I can suggest the ones about nutrition and meal.

  1. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere
  2. Veganism is like Communism They are both fine, unless you like food
  3. An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery Slaves are given food and housing.
  4. What does the F in Ethiopia stand for? Food
  5. Food is like dark humor not every one gets it.
  6. People say being a waiter is a bad job... ... but, hey, it puts food on the table.
  7. What's Icarus' least favorite food? hot wings
  8. What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake
  9. being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job but at least it puts food on the table
  10. What did the food critic say after tasting the Body of Christ? Very savioury.
  11. Your mom so fat.. Her favorite jewellery is the food chain
  12. Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.
  13. A hamburger walks into a bar.. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here."
  14. Why do midgets make bad parents? Cause they struggle to put food on the table
  15. What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen

Eating Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny eating food jokes and even better eating food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you get if you add up all the seconds of your life? A lot of food you probably didn't need to eat.
  • Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food...
  • My mother used to always say "give your food a rinse before you eat it." Lovely woman. Terrible sandwiches.
  • My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.
  • "I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.
  • Why do they eat snail in France? Because they don't have fast food.
  • 2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches. The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!"
    The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.
  • I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating
  • How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton
  • A cowboy ran out of food on the trail so he had to boil and eat his leather chaps. The next day he pooped his pants.

Favorite Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny favorite food jokes and even better favorite food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD.
    I peed
  • What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys.
  • What is a vampires least favorite food? Steak!
    ...I'll see myself out now.
  • What's a mod's favorite food? Bancakes
  • What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls
  • What is Marie Curie's favorite food? Fission chips.
  • I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...
  • What is Gru's favorite food? Filet Minion
  • What it Princess Zelda's favorite food? Hot Links
  • yo mama is so fat Her favorite food is 2nds
Food joke, yo mama is so fat

Food Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny food day jokes and even better food day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Mom asks, "Are you going to take me out to a restaurant for Mother's Day?" Kid replies, "We have food at home"
  • Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house.... .....and it was delicious
  • Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
  • I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house It was delicious
  • I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.
  • I stood in line at a Vietnamese food truck for an hour. When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.
    What a big Pho queue.
  • What's the deal with airline food these days... nothing but knuckle sandwiches.
  • Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know.
  • My mom asked were I was taking her for Mother's Day? I told her we have food at home!
  • The best pet for beginners is a mouse. They only live 5 days and require no food or water.

Fast Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny fast food jokes and even better fast food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
  • Why do the French like to eat snails so much? They can't stand fast food
  • Why don't Americans eat snails? Because they like fast-food.
    (This one actually came from my dad if that gets extra points.)
  • Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people... Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
  • What's Peter pans favourite fast food restaurant? Wendy's
  • Which fast food produces the most radiation? >!Fission chips. !<
  • Every time I go through a fast food window They hand me my food and say sorry about the weight. I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.
  • Why do we not eat sloths in the US? Because it's not a fast food
  • What did soviet Russians call an 8-hour bread line? Fast food
  • Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia, a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.
    It's called Burka King.
Food joke, Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia,

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Food Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean feeding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make food pranks.

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?


A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.

Joke in honor of mole day

Three moles are going through the ground looking for food.
The first mole pops up out of the ground and sniffs around.
He says "hey guys I think were getting close I smell some syrup".
The next mole pops up and says "ya we must be a smell some syrup too".
The last mole pops up and says "I don't know guys all I smell is some molasses"

What one food reduces a woman's s**... drive by 90%?

Wedding cake.

Two men sit down at a restaurant.

A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.

Dark comedy is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant...

Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant and open their briefcases, take out sandwiches, and start eating. A waitress comes up and says, "Excuse me, sirs, you can't eat your own food here." The lawyers shrug and exchange sandwiches.

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender says,"Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Q: What food diminishes a woman's s**... drive by 90%?

A: Her wedding cake.

The Lion with Christian feelings

Once upon a time... there was a m**... walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.
Scared to death, the m**... went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".
After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".

The police officer holds up a photo and asks a man; "is this your wife?"

The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."

There is one thing that United got right: their food is just great.

I hear they even serve a Chinese take-out now.

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill...

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.
I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.

I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you...

I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

Thank God we don't need to hunt for food anymore

I mean, I have no idea where pizzas live in the wild

Vegans proven wrong again

If animals really didn't want to be eaten then why would they be made out of food?
Check mate vegans

I was forced to s**... purple food color.

I feel violated.

The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant

A few minutes later, the dinner was served.
Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.
Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.

Son: Dad why is our food so cold and bland?

Dad: It's because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...

Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.
Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday

I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.

I like how the girl that called me a loser in high school is now blowing up my phone

She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge

What's the one food guaranteed to kill a woman's s**... drive?

Wedding cake.

So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon

The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.

My 3 year old daughter asked

My 3 year old daughter asked: Where does p**... come from?
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: You just had breakfast?
Yes , she replied.
Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what's left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as p**....
She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: And Tigger?

A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.

His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.
Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.
"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.
"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."
"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."

What's the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?

One is n**... in dye and the other died in new.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just e**... food?"

These times are harder on people with disabilities.

My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These b**... immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these b**... immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."

His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"

The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why. It's because they're not even trying to be British. That's why. They don't even TRY to be British. They come here, and bring their own b**... culture. They bring their own food, spit their own b**... languages, try to take over the whole b**... place."
His friend replies with "Well, that sounds British to me"

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Two cowboys are lost in the desert.

No food or drink. One of them spots a tree draped in bacon! He shouts A bacon tree, we're saved and runs towards it. As he gets closer it shoots him full of bullets.
Turns out it wasn't a bacon tree.
It was a ham bush

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...

..."This is the whey"


A deer enters a bar...

A deer enters a bar and sits by the bartender. "Whatever's on tap, and keep them coming. I lost a patient today."
The bartender brings over a drink and says, "That's really rough. But I've never met a deer that's a medical practitioner. How did that happen?"
The deer replied, "Well I came from a impoverished part of the forest. It was difficult to get food, difficult to get water, and difficult to find shelter. Nothing came with ease, that's for sure."
"And a deer with no ease becomes a dr."

I think my cats are communists

They expect free food and keep talking about Mao.

Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."

"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."
Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.

Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to h**....

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to h**.... Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to h**.... Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going to h**....

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with food.

I wasn't really listening, but she said something about not making enough thyme for her.

An Englishman, Frenchman and a Soviet go to an art exhibition.

They come to a marble bust of Adam and Eve. The Englishman says "Look at their calm repose, their stiff upper lip. They must have been English."
The Frenchman says "Look at their nakedness, their natural artistic beauty. They must have been French."
The Soviet goes "No no. They have no food, no water, no clothes and no shelter, and they're told they live in a Paradise. They're obviously Russian!"
Joke best told with very bad accents

How to determine s**... of aquarium fish?

Easy. Give it some food. If he eats it, then it's a male, if she eats it, then it's a female.

Food joke, How to determine s**... of aquarium fish?

jokes about food