Follow The Leader Jokes
28 follow the leader jokes and hilarious follow the leader puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about follow the leader that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Follow The Leader Short Jokes
Short follow the leader jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The follow the leader humour may include short leadership jokes also.
- BREAKING: North korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
- North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder... ...Is Kim Jong ill?
- I've been training my dog to alert me when he smells people who follow a creepy pseudo-religious leader who makes them believe that their salvation lies in giving him money. It's sniffacult work.
- BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure. Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.
- Why do Muslim Leaders tell their followers that they'll get 72 virgins in Heaven? Because 69 looks too obviously a joke.
- Oh, is that like, you guys' big leader? The one you all follow and take orders from? An Anarchist told me I should read Schwarz.
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Follow The Leader One Liners
Which follow the leader one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with follow the leader? I can suggest the ones about follow your heart and obey.
- Did you know there was a cult for visually impaired? They follow their leader blindly
- What did the ISIS leader gift to all his followers? The Samsung Note 7
- Why shouldn't you follow female leader? because she's "Miss Leading"
Follow The Leader Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about follow the leader you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean obey me jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make follow the leader pranks.
It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass m**.../s**... of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.
And anyway, the punchline's too long.
Koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.
The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.
Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.
Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.
And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.
A rabbi is on his deathbed...
...and a friend asks him if he has any last requests. The Rabbi asks his friend to find him a Catholic priest, so that he might convert.
Confused, his friend asks, "Rabbi, why? You have been a great teacher and leader of your followers, and you have led a good and honorable Jewish life. Why would you want to become a Catholic now, before you die?"
He says, "Eh, better one of them than one of us."
A group of adventurers walked into a bar.
"You can't bring your weapons in here!" the bartender yelled. "Why would you want to, anyways?"
"Mimics," the group's leader responded. "You can never be too careful."
After a moment, the bartender laughed, slowly followed by the rests of the group. "How ridiculous!" they all said.
"Ridiculous indeed!" said the nearby table.
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
Two old Irishmen
are sitting on their porch watching the people walk by. One nudges the other and points to the Rabbi going into the brothel up the street. Such a tragedy to see a religious leader leading such a sinful life! he exclaims.
After a while they watch the Protestant pastor also going into the same house. There's another man of the cloth succumbing to the sins of the flesh!
More time passes before the Catholic priest comes along and follows the same path. Both men sadly remove their caps. Tis a sad thing, one of the poor lasses needs last rites.
TIL that koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.
The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.
Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.
Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.
And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.
Kim-Jong un wanted to know what his citizens thought of him, so he disguised himself as a regular citizen and went out.
In the streets of Pyongyang, he approached a man and asked, "What you think of our Great Leader?"
The man, not knowing that he was speaking to Kim, said: "Follow me. I don't want anyone to hear me."
He took Kim to a dark, quiet alley where no one will hear. Kim then repeated the question, "What do you think of our Great Leader?"
The man then went closer, whispered in his ears, "I support our Great Leader!"
It's amazing how much has changed since the 80s
Back then we had a celebrity president with ultraconservative views and a cult following who was obsessed with a wall in the White House, a female Prime Minister with a complicated relationship with the EU and a total disregard for the poor of the country in Number Ten, the Russians were under a regime that made idols of their leaders, took part in mass espionage schemes and got involved in wars in Muslim Countries and we all lived in fear of Nuclear War.
The postal service created a stamp with a picture of a highly controversial political leader who became president.
The postal service created a stamp with a picture of a highly controversial political leader who became president. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing, the investigation commission presented the following findings:
1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS
The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, TORNADO! All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed SANDSTORM! The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, This is going to be easy. These people are idiots. The blonde stood with a smug look on the shooting block while the ISIS leader roared, Ready…Aim…. The blonde yelled, FIRE!
The Glorious Leader visits a pig farm
Kim Jong-Un visits a pig farm and has the obligatory p**... photo taken.
Later, three editors for the Pyongyang Times are facing the task of finding an appropriate caption.
#1: "How about 'The Glorious Leader among pigs'?"
#2: "Are you mad? That could cost us our heads!"
#3: "How's 'Even the farm animals look up to our Dear Leader'?"
#2: "No, no, no. Could be misinterpreted. We need something neutral."
They debate the entire evening.
The caption on the following day's issue simply states, "Kim Jong-Un, third from left."
A heroic biker . . .
Last week, a group of Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
The would-be jumper responded, "I'm going to commit s**...."
While George didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a legend-in-the-making opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
One day a mother skunk
Told her two baby skunks, In and Out, to go outside and play. The two baby skunks did so and where having a great time. The played tag, follow the leader, and tried catching bugs down by the river. Then Out had an idea.
"Let's play hide and seek," Out said. "I'll look for you first!"
Out hid his eyes and began counting slowly all the way until 100.
"Ready or not, here I come," Out shouted.
He rushed around all the usual spots but couldn't find his sibling. Everywhere he looked and found nothing made him a little more nervous. After an hour of screaming for his sibling he ran back home crying. He burst through the door and his mother looked at him.
"Out, what's the matter?" she asked.
"We were playing hide and go seek and I can't find In," he replied through his tears.
The mother smiled and patted him on the head. "Wait right here," she said and walked out the door.
Not even a minute later she walked back in with her other baby skunk.
Out looked at her with amazement. "Mommy, how do you find him so quick?!" he asked.
"Oh, it was easy," she replied. "In stinked."
Christian Aliens
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: **"Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"**. **"You mean J.C?"**, responds the alien **"yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok"**. Surprised, the pope follows up with **"He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"**. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize **"maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"**. The pope retorts **"Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"**. The alien says **"Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"**
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English.
Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.
When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"
"You mean J.C?", responds the alien.
"yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".
Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"
The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"
The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"