Folks Jokes
130 folks jokes and hilarious folks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about folks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
For all the grown folks, citizens, peeps and dead folks out there, this article has got something for you! Get ready to laugh and announce these folks jokes that are sure to have you in stitches.
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Funniest Folks Short Jokes
Short folks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The folks humour may include short fella jokes also.
- Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior? Or am I just breadjudiced?
Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks! - Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
- I'm pretty great with money. Folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding.
- I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks. Dad loved her, but mum said she could've done with another hour on a low heat.
- Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door Dad: Great! Give him Granny!
- Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive? No one wants a receding airline...
I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;) - I turned over a brand new leaf today... the folks at the Nissan dealership were not very happy with me.
- Did you hear about the new LEGO store in the neighbourhood? Folks are lining up for blocks!
- What do you call cattle that don't have courage? Cowards.
Thanks folks, I wrote this when I was 7 years old! - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
I'll be here all week folks, try the veal.
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Folks One Liners
Which folks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with folks? I can suggest the ones about ladies and gentlemen and mean people.
- Why do carpet in white folk houses always need vacuuming? Crackers always leave crumbs.
- What do you call introverted hobbits? Shyer folk
- How do you protect your valuables from an accordionist? Hide them in an old folk song.
- What do nurses watch at the old folks home? The grammies!
- What does the lunch line at the old folks home smell like? Depends.
- What do rich folks and rats have in common? They're leaving New York City
- What do folks in Kentucky do when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.
- What do you call ten white folks on a bench? The NBA
- What do you call a 5 year old's knees? Kidneys!
Ha! I'll be here all week folks. - how do socks reproduce? they have socks. goodnight folks
- They told me to keep it in my pants... But it was too hard.
Happy Valentine's Day folks! - What do Mountain folk do on Halloween? Pumpkin.
- I tried to make a joke about Brownian motion... But, on average, folks were unmoved.
- How do blind folks buy homes in hot markets? Sight unseen.
- What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music? A hootenanny.
Old Folks Jokes
Here is a list of funny old folks jokes and even better old folks puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- In the old days, folks used to say "tisk, tisk" to shame others Now social media connects us to millions, and allows us to multi-tisk.
- Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers... They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...
- Where should you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Old folks home. Nobody has teeth to bite you!
- What's everyone's favorite genre of music at the old folk's home? Death metal.
- What do you call a staircase with no railing in an old folks home? A stairway to heaven.
- How do the old folks at the retirement home celebrate Easter? By hiding their own Easter eggs
Share Hilarious Folks Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about folks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gents jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make folks pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Folks in my hometown are so judgmental!
I(40) tried to take my wife(19) out for a nice dinner and everyone kept staring and calling me a p**...! It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fire safety
I was at the Senior Center today and failed a Health and Safety course that was put on for us old folks...
One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps
would you take?"
"f**...' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
Plane Ride
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...
..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out
At the State Fair....
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word it's ten dollars! "
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over and over again, but still not a word. They tierra and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but like Martha always said, ten dollars is ten dollars."
I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.
I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"
He replied, "Which one?"
I responded, "The composer."
Young man goes off to university
A young man goes off to university in a town several hours drive from where his parents live. Two months later, he write to his folks. The letter reads, "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time! I've enclosed a picture, as you can see I've grown a nice goatee! Don't I look like a Count?"
The father says to his wife, "Well that's upsetting. We spend all this money sending him to school, and he can't even spell."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Amish Woman
Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's b**...… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither
Bubba n' Buford
Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, "Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me and my friend got into an argument because he masturbates differently to me.
Oh well. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I never could get into spanking as a f**....
But, you know, different strokes for different folks.
On the set of a movie...
"Alright folks that's a wrap"
"Actually sir it's a panini"
"Ugh..Take five"
But there weren't enough paninis for everyone to take 5
Wayne Gretzy at a party...
Gets folks to drink by yelling, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take!!!!"
They're not sure if Kim Jong Un is actually missing or is feeling under the weather...
.... so is Kim Jong *ill*?
*Applause applause*
Thank you. I'll be here all night, folks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Horse t**... up and says to mirror: "why the long face?" Mirror says "It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."
I'll be here all week folks.
A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation
Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to the whole country.
Truly, the nation has Ro-mania.
Every joke needs one
A priest and a rabbi walk into a wedding party looking for something to drink. The priest approaches some folks standing with empty glasses and asks a man "Pardon me, is this line for the punch?" To which the man replied "yep, this is the punch line."
Being a teacher is great, I only work a half day
12 hours/day.
Thank you, don't forget to tip your TA, I'll be here all week (M-F except Federal Holiday) folks!
For you Atlanta Ga folks
Welcome to Decatur, where the men are men and so are the women.
Welcome to Midtown, where the women are women and so are the men.
People call me peanut-butter...
Because everywhere I go, folks be gettin' jelly.
A bunch of Jewish folks walk into a bar...
Mitzva and celebrate Oscar's thirteenth bithday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with?
A Reptile Dysfunction
*ba dum tss*
I'll be here all night folks
But seriously folks, what is Joe Walsh's best album?
What is the most whoreish profession today?
Store greeters. They let everybody 'come inside'!
no offense folks! :)
I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in five years.
Come on folks, I'm not going to live that long.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Despite having no nominations this year,
I'm certain that black folks will clean up at The Oscars.
The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar...
The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar, looking a little tipsy.
The bartender asks, "How many bars have you folks been to, tonight?"
They reply, "Just two."
The bartender says, "GET OUT!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[OC] What do you call a Portable s**... Bank?
Your Momma.
Happy Mother's Day folks
I'm a little upset, folks. Last night I went to this new restaurant for dinner and I had to use the restroom. And there was a sign in there that said, "Employees Must Wash Hands."
And I could not find one employee who would wash my hands.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street
and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you folks read the book, Twenty Yards to the Outhouse?
by w**... Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont and published by Andy Dint
Remember folks, beauty...
Is only a light switch away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tormented for over an hour... that poor mentally disabled man...
But, you have to give the intel folks who brief Trump, credit for trying.
It's old man Jenkin's 94th birthday at the old folks home
He asked a member of staff "young woman, how old are you?"
The woman replied "why, I'm 24"
Old man Jenkins says "do you know how many times 94 can go into 24?"
The woman says "I have no idea"
Jenkins whispers in her ear "meet me after scrabble practice and we can find out"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam.
Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.
Explaining to my Married Friends how Tinder works.
Me : So you swipe right if you like them and swipe left if you don't like
Them : Ohhhhhh
Me : So basically you need to log in to the Facebook account to access the app.
Them : Ohhhhhh
Me : Don't worry nothing gets posted on Facebook
Them : Ohhhhhh
P. S - Only Married Folks understand the subtle difference in the Ohhhhhhs
TIL Kim Jong Un has a brother.
Folks just call him Kim Jong Deux.
A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation...
Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree!
Waiter: That's so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master's degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa?
Wedding problems...
Every time I go to weddings the older folks poke me in the arm and whisper "that is gonna be you! That is gonna be you!"
So now when I go to funerals I poke them in the arm and say "that is gonna be you!"
If I got a dollar every time these folks told me to get a job, I would never have to work a day in my life!
Oh wait...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Folks with the last name Takei out there: you did us a solid, now it's our turn. When you need to tell people your full name, you can use the word Gay instead
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Louis c**... call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Statistics show that the average joke gets reposted 89 times a year
... Only hours left folks, grab all the karma you can!
So, now that the tide pods meme is dying...
Are folks going to start tweeting #riptide?
Have you heard about the underperforming strain of alfalfa that folks in Sonoma have been growing?
Grocery stores are calling them Baybeta sprouts .
Do you know about the Po Valley?
It's where the Po folks live.
A group of Cytologists are arrested...
and are thrown into jail. Since these are privileged folks, they're put into a special jail where they live a single common living space, without separate rooms.
The cytologists start submitting complaints immediately to the state. Because without cells, it doesn't meet living conditions.
Remember folks, we all wouldn't be here if it were not for the big Bang. 😉
And all the smaller subsequent ones.
Do you believe in superstition?
I think it's bad luck to believe in superstition.
Good day folks!
How do the folks at the Genius Bar drink their beer?
Out of Einsteins
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.
I'll call it l**...-Con.
Half price admission for the wee folk.
What kind of disapperreared without folks noticing?
My happiness
What do the folks living on the Big Island call Kilauea?
A giant ash-hole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My colleagues wanted to do a team building activity, and someone suggested a ropes course.
A few folks were hesitant, but I'm happy to say everyone came. I've never experience such fantastic b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Its crazy how some people die after having a s**..., but others just lose a b**... function and are otherwise okay..
Different strokes for different folks I guess.
I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...
Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.
Parapsychologists
I just want to take this moment to give a shout out to parapsychologists, the only folks brave enough to jump out of airplanes to provide emergency counseling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...
They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and b**...-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.
No one expected the Spandex intermission.
One day I was playing...
I was about seven years old—and I saw the cellar door open just a crack. Now my folks had always warned me: Emo, whatever you do, don't go near the cellar door. But I had to see what was on the other side if it killed me, so I went to the cellar door, pushed it open and walked through, and I saw strange, wonderful things—things I had never seen before— like ... trees, grass, flowers, the sun—that was nice!
What does the SWAT team listen to on the way to work?
The Raid-eo.
(I'll be here all night, folks)
What type of 'review' new iPhone got from the Detroit folks?
The Neg. one.
I wonder who's buried in the grave of the guy who invented the switch-a-roo?
Th-th-that's all folks.
I told folks at work that Colonel Mustard did it in the library with the candle stick.
They looked at me dumbfounded as if they didn't have a clue!
Why are black folks acting like 'Black Panther is their first big movie?
When 'Planet of the Apes' came out in the 60's...
