Folks Jokes

135 folks jokes and hilarious folks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about folks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

For all the grown folks, citizens, peeps and dead folks out there, this article has got something for you! Get ready to laugh and announce these folks jokes that are sure to have you in stitches.

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Funniest Folks Short Jokes

Short folks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The folks humour may include short fella jokes also.

  1. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
  2. My Bathroom I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John.

    It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning.
  3. Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior? Or am I just breadjudiced?
    Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks!
  4. Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
  5. What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Vast majority of folks in Dubai do not like the Flintstones, but most in Abu Dhabi do.
  6. Mortal Kombat Did you know mortal kombat is based on an old nordic folk song?
    Well it's technically a Finnish hymn
  7. I'm pretty great with money. Folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding.
  8. I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks. Dad loved her, but mum said she could've done with another hour on a low heat.
  9. Sometimes folks are surprised to find out I was named after my dad. But I always have to ask, How would I have been named before him?
  10. Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door Dad: Great! Give him Granny!

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Folks One Liners

Which folks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with folks? I can suggest the ones about ladies and gentlemen and mean people.

  1. How are LGBTQ folks like batteries? Usually, they are not included.
  2. Why do carpet in white folk houses always need vacuuming? Crackers always leave crumbs.
  3. Transgender folks are the best at banking Everything they do is a transaction.
  4. What do you call introverted hobbits? Shyer folk
  5. How do you protect your valuables from an accordionist? Hide them in an old folk song.
  6. What do nurses watch at the old folks home? The grammies!
  7. What does the lunch line at the old folks home smell like? Depends.
  8. When I was 16, my folks tried to surprise me with a car… They missed.
  9. Why do black folk carry around "boomboxes"? it's just their stereo-type!
  10. White folk hate math. Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate.
  11. How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool? "Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"
  12. What do rich folks and rats have in common? They're leaving New York City
  13. What do folks in Kentucky do when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.
  14. What do you call ten white folks on a bench? The NBA
  15. What do you call a 5 year old's knees? Kidneys!
    Ha! I'll be here all week folks.

Old Folks Jokes

Here is a list of funny old folks jokes and even better old folks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam. Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.
  • What do you call cattle that don't have courage? Cowards.
    Thanks folks, I wrote this when I was 7 years old!
  • How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a bulb? Three
    One to change the bulb, and two to sing about how good the old one was.
  • In the old days, folks used to say "tisk, tisk" to shame others Now social media connects us to millions, and allows us to multi-tisk.
  • Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so... I started doing it back to funerals. 😉
  • Bunch of mainly old rich white folks gathered in a big fancy room guarded by armed guards to discuss about coloured people So how was Oscars y'all?
  • Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers... They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...
  • Where should you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Old folks home. Nobody has teeth to bite you!
  • What's everyone's favorite genre of music at the old folk's home? Death metal.
  • What do you call a staircase with no railing in an old folks home? A stairway to heaven.

Older Folks Jokes

Here is a list of funny older folks jokes and even better older folks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks... A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks while they are eating and asks:
    "Is ANYTHING alright?"
Folks joke, A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks...

Share Hilarious Folks Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about folks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gents jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make folks pranks.

Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools
EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!
its a joke folks. just a joke.

Folks in my hometown are so judgmental!

I(40) tried to take my wife(19) out for a nice dinner and everyone kept staring and calling me a p**...! It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary!

I tried to make a joke about Brownian motion...

But, on average, folks were unmoved.

What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas?

Happy new years folks!

How many Porky Pigs does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

Just 1, and that's all folks ;)

Fire safety

I was at the Senior Center today and failed a Health and Safety course that was put on for us old folks...
One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps
would you take?"
"f**...' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.

Plane Ride

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...

..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out

At the State Fair....

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word it's ten dollars! "
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over and over again, but still not a word. They tierra and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but like Martha always said, ten dollars is ten dollars."

I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.

I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"
He replied, "Which one?"
I responded, "The composer."

Young man goes off to university

A young man goes off to university in a town several hours drive from where his parents live. Two months later, he write to his folks. The letter reads, "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time! I've enclosed a picture, as you can see I've grown a nice goatee! Don't I look like a Count?"
The father says to his wife, "Well that's upsetting. We spend all this money sending him to school, and he can't even spell."

A midget fortune teller escaped from prison...

We got a small medium at large here, folks.

An Amish Woman

Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's b**...… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither

Bubba n' Buford

Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, "Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!".

Me and my friend got into an argument because he masturbates differently to me.

Oh well. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

how do socks reproduce?

they have socks. goodnight folks

I never could get into spanking as a f**....

But, you know, different strokes for different folks.

They're not sure if Kim Jong Un is actually missing or is feeling under the weather...

.... so is Kim Jong *ill*?
*Applause applause*
Thank you. I'll be here all night, folks.

Horse t**... up and says to mirror: "why the long face?" Mirror says "It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."

I'll be here all week folks.

A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation

Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to the whole country.
Truly, the nation has Ro-mania.

Every joke needs one

A priest and a rabbi walk into a wedding party looking for something to drink. The priest approaches some folks standing with empty glasses and asks a man "Pardon me, is this line for the punch?" To which the man replied "yep, this is the punch line."

I'm fairly tall so folks are always asking me "Do you play basketball?"

My standard reply: "No, do you play miniature golf?"

Being a teacher is great, I only work a half day

12 hours/day.
Thank you, don't forget to tip your TA, I'll be here all week (M-F except Federal Holiday) folks!

Two statisticians go deer hunting...

they are out all day long when finally they spot a 5 point buck. They simultaneously crouch down silently, take aim, and shoot. The first statistician fires 20 feet to the left of the deer. The second statistician fires 20 feet to the right of the deer. In unison, they both shout out "got it"!
Thank you folks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters.

For you Atlanta Ga folks

Welcome to Decatur, where the men are men and so are the women.
Welcome to Midtown, where the women are women and so are the men.

Is there a condition called "melanism" ... white people, the opposite of albinoism in black folks?
Because, if not, she's got some explaining to do.

People call me peanut-butter...

Because everywhere I go, folks be gettin' jelly.

How many Portuguese does it take to colonize an Empire?

a brazillian
thanks folks, i'll be here all Monday.

What is the most whoreish profession today?

Store greeters. They let everybody 'come inside'!
no offense folks! :)

Despite having no nominations this year,

I'm certain that black folks will clean up at The Oscars.

They told me to keep it in my pants...

But it was too hard.
Happy Valentine's Day folks!

The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar...

The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar, looking a little tipsy.
The bartender asks, "How many bars have you folks been to, tonight?"
They reply, "Just two."
The bartender says, "GET OUT!!"

Why do most blind folks not skydive?

The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while.

I'm a little upset, folks. Last night I went to this new restaurant for dinner and I had to use the restroom. And there was a sign in there that said, "Employees Must Wash Hands."

And I could not find one employee who would wash my hands.

The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street

and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks.

Remember folks, beauty...

Is only a light switch away.

It's old man Jenkin's 94th birthday at the old folks home

He asked a member of staff "young woman, how old are you?"
The woman replied "why, I'm 24"
Old man Jenkins says "do you know how many times 94 can go into 24?"
The woman says "I have no idea"
Jenkins whispers in her ear "meet me after scrabble practice and we can find out"

What's the difference between i**... and unlawful?

One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.
Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!

Explaining to my Married Friends how Tinder works.

Me : So you swipe right if you like them and swipe left if you don't like
Them : Ohhhhhh
Me : So basically you need to log in to the Facebook account to access the app.
Them : Ohhhhhh
Me : Don't worry nothing gets posted on Facebook
Them : Ohhhhhh
P. S - Only Married Folks understand the subtle difference in the Ohhhhhhs

I was reading about these Hasidic folks from Lakewood, NJ getting arrested for welfare fraud and I thought to myself, "They really give Jews bad names"

I mean, really. Zalmen? Shimy? Yocheved?

Smells like u**...

What is 40ft long and smells like u**...?
A line dance at an old folks home.

A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation...

Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree!
Waiter: That's so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master's degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa?

Why are transgender folks so poor?

Because every action is a trans-action.

Wedding problems...

Every time I go to weddings the older folks poke me in the arm and whisper "that is gonna be you! That is gonna be you!"
So now when I go to funerals I poke them in the arm and say "that is gonna be you!"

What did Louis c**... call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...
I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

What do Alabama folks and children celebrating Halloween have in common?

They both wanna pump kin

A group of Cytologists are arrested...

and are thrown into jail. Since these are privileged folks, they're put into a special jail where they live a single common living space, without separate rooms.
The cytologists start submitting complaints immediately to the state. Because without cells, it doesn't meet living conditions.

How do blind folks buy homes in hot markets?

Sight unseen.

Do you believe in superstition?

I think it's bad luck to believe in superstition.
Good day folks!

How do the folks at the Genius Bar drink their beer?

Out of Einsteins

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it l**...-Con.
Half price admission for the wee folk.

My colleagues wanted to do a team building activity, and someone suggested a ropes course.

A few folks were hesitant, but I'm happy to say everyone came. I've never experience such fantastic b**....

Its crazy how some people die after having a s**..., but others just lose a b**... function and are otherwise okay..

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...

Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.


I just want to take this moment to give a shout out to parapsychologists, the only folks brave enough to jump out of airplanes to provide emergency counseling.

A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...

They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and b**...-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.
No one expected the Spandex intermission.

One day I was playing...

I was about seven years old—and I saw the cellar door open just a crack. Now my folks had always warned me: Emo, whatever you do, don't go near the cellar door. But I had to see what was on the other side if it killed me, so I went to the cellar door, pushed it open and walked through, and I saw strange, wonderful things—things I had never seen before— like ... trees, grass, flowers, the sun—that was nice!

What does the SWAT team listen to on the way to work?

The Raid-eo.
(I'll be here all night, folks)

What did the deadhead say when the drugs wore off?

"Hey... this music s**...."
(just a joke folks, we all know j**... rules)

Manafort and Cohen flip on the President. Trump is convicted of treason. He is 'hung by the neck until dead.' Miraculously, minutes after his hanging, he walks out of the gallows and addresses the press:

"Fake noose, folks."

I turned over a brand new leaf today...

the folks at the Nissan dealership were not very happy with me.

I wonder who's buried in the grave of the guy who invented the switch-a-roo?

Th-th-that's all folks.

jokes about folks