Foggy Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

This one's a groaner for sure, but still fun. Happy Halloween!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping-clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and.......

The coffin stops

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

Just read this in an email, thought it worthy of sharing.

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him he hears:
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
The coffin stops

In a torrential stormy and a foggy day a very drunk man was trying to hitch hike a lift home...

In a torrential stormy and a foggy day a very drunk man was trying to hitch hike a lift home and no cars would stop. When out of the blue a car pulled up moving very slowly and stopped right in front of him. Asking no questions he jumps into the back seat - relived that finally he had a lift. As the excitement of the lift subsided - he realized that the car had no driver. The car started moving again. The man braced himself as the car moved towards a couple of bends. As the car hit the bends a mysterious hand would pop through the window and turn the car. The man was completely freaked out by this. Ghost car! When he could take no more of this he jumped out of the car and ran for dear life. He came up to a tavern and had to go in for a drink. Inside there were fellow drinkers enjoying their drinks and he just had to let them know what had happened to him. At first the other fellows laughed but then the man started crying...and they thought it has to be true. At that moment two guys stormed into the tavern...shouting, " we ran out of gas and while we were pushing our car some mad man jumped in... Did he happen to come in here?"

Why is it foggy at cemeteries?

Because the people there are mist

Air tragedy in Newfoundland...

A two-seater single engine Cessna 152 crashed in foggy conditions near the Gander airport, crashing into the nearby cemetery.

Newfie rescue squads have recovered 385 bodies so far, and that number is expected to climb as digging continues.

It was really foggy on my way home today

Looked quite misterious

A Father and his Son are driving down a foggy road in the early morning.

The son says to his father, Wow, Dad. This is a lot of fog! To which the dad then responds It sure is son! The two drive down the road about a mile or so and finally reach a stoplight. To break the silence, the father says while chuckling. You know Son, when I die I hope I turn into a horrible fog, just like this one. Confused, the son asks Well why would you want that? To which the Dad replies, still laughing. So I won't be mist!

A father and his son are driving down a foggy road in the early morning.

While sitting at a red light, the father turns to his son and says, You know son, when I die, I hope I turn into a horrible fog, just like this one. And the son says, Why would you want that Dad? To which the Dad replies, So I'll be mist!



( Missed if you don't get this Dad joke)

I wasn't able to catch my train...

The air was so foggy that I mist it.

A man gets a phone call at 2 in the morning...

He picks up the phone and listens before he starts screaming "No I don't know if the sea is fucking foggy", and hangs up.
"What was that about?" The mans wife asked.
"This guy was asking me if the coast was clear".

Shortcut through a graveyard.

There was a man walking home from a bar late one night. As usual he took a shortcut through a graveyard. Since it was especially foggy that night he didn't see a freshly dug grave and fell headlong into the pit. He tried for over 20 min to climb out but couldn't manage to escape. As he sat there pondering his options he was startled when someone else, apparently also using the same shortcut, fell in the grave. He sat unnoticed in the corner and watched the man try to climb out. Hoping to save the man some trouble he said "you're not gonna be able to get out". He was wrong.

It was so foggy this morning and I tried to grab some of the fog

Sadly, I mist.

Why does Demi Lovato's driveway have a light house beside it?

The end part of her drive home is usually pretty foggy

A pedo and a little girl are walking into the woods at night

...it's dark and foggy with random strange animal noises off in the distance, and the little girl starts crying "I'm scared"

The pedo responds, "You're scared?!?! I have to walk out all by myself!"

It was pretty foggy outside..

I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.

I know the first 1,000,000 digits of pi..

its their order that I'm still foggy on

As my grandfather once said...

It's so foggy out here, I can't see through my cataracts.

My memory is kinda foggy...

A lot of the details get mist.

One foggy winter night Jason walks into a bar

Then a tree, and then into a manhole

Why is fog associated with bad luck?

Because there are a lot of mist opportunities on foggy nights.

What are the funniest foggy jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Foggy? Well, here are the best Foggy puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Foggy pick up lines to share with friends.

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