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Flying Dog Jokes

29 flying dog jokes and hilarious flying dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flying dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Flying Dog Short Jokes

Short flying dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flying dog humour may include short flying jokes also.

  1. Don't be sad... Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can't fly.
  2. Hey! What's up? A heartwarming animated film about a boy, an old man, and his dog who all fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.
  3. My dog's pace of wiggling his tail depends on how long I have been away. Longer I am away, faster he wiggles his tail. So I am going away for a year now because I want to see him fly.
  4. Somebody was giving me a synopsis of their crossover fan fic that includes a killer clown, a talking dog, and a flying house and at the end they said "That about sums it-up"
  5. Dog sees bird flying. Dog asks bird how did you learn to fly like that? Bird says My instincts. Dog says... Well my end stinks too but I can't get it more than a foot off the ground.
  6. Two flies are sat on a dog p**.... One of them breaks wind, and the other says…. Do you mind! I'm eating!

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Flying Dog One Liners

Which flying dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flying dog? I can suggest the ones about flying fish and flying cow.

  1. Why was the dog put on the No Fly list? It had ties to suspected terrier organizations
  2. how do you make a dog fly? kick him hard enough of a building
  3. What is a pilot's dog's favourite part about flying? Disembarking.
  4. dog and the fly what did the dog say to the fly
    stop bugging me
    looool
  5. Why does Santa Claus use reindeers for his sleigh? Because sledge dogs can't fly.

Flying Dog Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about flying dog you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flying pig jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flying dog pranks.

Southwest

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."
"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."

A blind man walks into a convenience store with his service dog

He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.
*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*
Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a clamorous noise.
The frustrated store clerk yells at the man. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
"I'm just looking around."

A blind man walks into Walmart...

A blind man walks into Walmart with his seeing-eye dog and makes his way to the center of the store.
Suddenly, the man picks up his dog and , like a lasso, begins to hurl the dog around over his head by its leash.
The manager, quite confused and a little concered for the dog flying around in the air, quickly runs over to the blind man.
"Sir! Is there something I can help you with?"

"Nope, just looking around."

A Native American boy talks to his father,

Boy: Dad, why is my sister called 'Running Water'?
Father: Son, in our family we have a tradition. When our child is born we name them after the first thing we see in nature. Your sister was born next to a stream.
Boy: Oh ok. So my brother is called 'Soaring Eagle' because when he was born you saw a flying eagle?
Father: Yes that's correct. Hopefully you understand now 'Two Dogs f**...'.

A young man turns 21 and decides to change his name.

He goes to the village wise man and explains what he wants.
"You do realize that, in our village, it is a tradition for the father to name a child after the first thing he sees after the child is born, don't you?" The young man nods.
"That is why your older sister is named 'Flying Dove.'" The young man nods.
"And that is also why your younger brother is named 'Running Deer.'" The young man nods.
"So, I don't understand why you would want to change your name, 'Two Dogs f**...'!"

Southwest Airlines

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City.
The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?
The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So, the little boy asked the flight attendant: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant asked: "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
He said that she had.
With a clever grin, she said: "Tell your mother it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time."

An American, Mexican, and Arab are in a plane...

They fly over America and the American drops a ball out of the plane. The others ask why and he replies, "This will make someone in my country very happy and I love my country."
They fly over Mexico and the the Mexican drops a flower out of the plane. The others ask why and he replies, "I love my country and wish to make it more beautiful."
When they fly over Iran, the Arab drops a bomb out of the plane. Seeing the shocked looks on the other's faces he says, "I hate this country."
When the American gets home he sees a boy crying on the street. He goes to see whats wrong and the boy says, "I was walking my dog and a ball fell from the sky and killed him!"
When the Mexican gets home he sees a woman crying holding her face. He goes to help and asks what the problem is. She cries out, "I heard a wooshing sound, looked up, and a flower stabbed me in the eye!"
When the Arab gets home he sees a man rolling on the ground laughing. He asks the man whats so funny and the man chokes out the worlds, "I f**... and the building behind me blew up!"

Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years...

Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you? " Ed asked. "Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust. "
"Oh dear, that sounds terrible. " Ed said. "What business were you in? "
"I sell lucky charms," said Ted."

Two blind pilots

Can't remember where I heard this - it was ages ago and it changes every time I say it...
Two blind pilots were greeting passengers at the door with their guide dogs. The passengers where quite worried about blind pilots flying a plane and were staring down the aisle as they settled in their seats. The pilots went into the cockpit and shut the door behind them. The engines started up, and everything seemed to be going as planned, so the passengers went back to their magazines and forgot about the two blind pilots in the cockpit.
As the plane roared down the runway getting closer and closer to the water at the end, the passengers quickly became worried and started to scream and yell out. With that, the plane lifted smoothly off the ground and into the air. The passengers again went back to their magazines and in the cockpit, the pilot says to the co-pilot: "One day they're gonna scream too late, and we're all gonna die!"

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.


The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."

There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day.


They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs.
Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one.
They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him.
They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do.
So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing.
They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do.
Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.


The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.


They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one.
They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out.
The dog didn't work.
No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”